My friend reported me for benefit fraud....

[thisismymomentwithu]

Me and my friend "Ana" have been friends for 10 years now,a couple of times I've backed away from her as she did some pretty crappy things (accused ex of hitting her to stop his access but told me it was a lie and many other things ) stupidly I always start hanging out with her and ignoring my better judgement.
I work full time but get help with UC since I split with my partner and my wage isn't great.
When my grandma passed I was left £4,500 and I put it away for when I needed anything.
I always got on well with "Ana's" friends and struck up a friendship with a couple of girls due to our kids being the same age and having similar interests.
Ana wasn't happy and we ended up falling out and our friendship was over (her choice )
After a few months my new friends stopped wanting to meet up as usual,I had a feeling it was because of Ana but didn't want to ask them.
In the mean time I received a letter for a compliance interview.
Attending this interview (via phone call ) I was informed someone reported me for having my ex living with me and working a cash in hand job (neither are true ) and they told me they received a Anon tip off and told me the date (the same day Ana blocked me on everything)
It was all sorted out and no action taken as they realised it wasn't true.
Fast forward two months later and speaking via text to one of my new friends and she kept saying
"Well the people who fleece the system will be getting found out soon and in trouble"
"Has your ex moved back in? Thought I seen him leaving home one morning"
Then she said something about my benefit claim that she must have been told by "Ana "
Lightbulb moment ...it was deffo Ana but my other friends knew and believed her.
I've stopped speaking with everyone now but I'm gutted.

Why wasn't she satisfied with falsely reporting me ..why did she also tell our mutual friends I was doing something she knew I wasn't?
I'm so embarrassed
My kids are in these girls classes at school

There no way I’d ignore this purely your DC are friends with these women’s children and I would not stand them gossiping about me in case it rubbed off on them.

I’d contact the friend who mentioned seeing your ex come out of your house, and say you were confused about this as he hasn’t been there recently and someone made a false claim of benefit fraud against you which has massively upset you and has been proven to be false. I’d outright ask if it was her due to the comments she made about people fleecing the system. As @Powerflower22 said, add in that the DWP have referred to police as malicious (great idea!) If put on the spot, hopefully she’ll say who she got it from. If not, then you’ll have lost nothing and she may have second thoughts about joining in with the gossip.

If she does say it was ‘Ana’, then I’d tell the nasty liar what I thought of her.

You can of course decide not to continue being friends with the others anyway as they bought into what she said.

It doesn’t make you low to stand up for yourself. you’re not the liar, ‘Ana’ is.

Well she's a nasty bstd. Well rid of that vile creature and the other women will find out for themselves.
Don't change schools.

If it gets mentioned again, say this.
Oh yes the false allegations, I have never heard anyone grovel to apologise so much, and they found out I was being underpaid, I really should be thanking that Anonymous person.

I agree you’r’e doing nothing wrong - not suggesting otherwise. But in return for claiming income related benefits you will have signed a declaration giving the DWP the right to ask for bank statements to check everything is above board - nothing to do with privacy rights - it’s more to do with rights and responsibilities. The right to claim benefit and the responsibility to provide evidence of need as and when requested. I agree that you should blank out everything except income from your bank statements - DWP are entitled to check on your income but have no say in how you spend the benefits.

Yes some people will stoop that low! Hold your head up high as you have done nothing wrong. Karma will sort things. Do speak with other mums and make sure it is overheard that you were cleared of any wrong doing. You will make lovely friends later who will be true frie nds. Dont make any differences with how you treat your childrens class friends even if their parents are horrible. But encourage your children perhaps to play with other children by arranging playdates and trips to the park with other mums.

How can you possibly know what level of disability someone has unless you’re with them 24/7 ? You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors, and yet you’re happy to report them for ‘fraud’. The DWP don’t tell people who report fraud of the outcome, so you may well have put someone through an investigation for nothing.

Even if you were guilty people do not shop their friends for something like this.

However the Dwp and social services do have a bit of a habit of dropping The anonymous reporters details, just enough so that you can work out who it is if it turns out to be a malicious claim.

I had somebody report me when I was on maternity leave and I was literally left with £100 a week to keep myself and four children and whilst I literally got it all backdated I’ve never been so stressed in my life.

I hope the other mums are watching their back! If she can be this spiteful she will do it again.
The best way to beat this bully is to live your life free of their BS. She and her cronies are out of your life.

if it starts impacting the kids I would definitely think of moving them. However if it doesn’t- then perhaps see if you can get someone to do the school run so you don’t have to see their mean spiteful faces.

I agree with this, and wouldn't say how much it upset or caused me problems because that's exactly what 'Ana' wanted to do with the false allegations, if she knew they were false from the start then she was doing it to cause hurt and problems and I just wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she has - she then has confirmation (even just through the other friends) that she achieved her objective.
But saying what pp suggests let's it be known that it's been dealt with and goes someway to clearing your name, and that you and the DWP know they're false allegations.

She's just a jealous skank, you're better off without her and those other "friends" don't let it get to you. It qas proven to be a lie, she should be ashamed of herself. X

I’d comment that it was investigated and they realised I wasn’t receiving enough benefits so being reported worked out well.

i assume many exes turn up at the family home when their dc live there? I’m sorry you’ve experienced this. Hold your head high and brazen it out on the school run. Bunch of witches!

Benefit fraud grinds most people's gears so I can see the reasoning of why people would get upset if they suspect someone is part of de-frauding the system and tax payer.

On the same note, you have been investigated and cleared. You have nothing to worry about apart from your choice of friend. It sounds like a group of people who have nothing better to do than to speculate and gossip, rather than do something productive with their time.

Find new friends, don't pull the kids out of school if its one they like and are settled and stay away from that crowd, although if you do see them, just laugh.

Move forward, don't look back.

they are only believing what someone has told them. Its up to you now to proove her otherwise. I would not stand for someone telling complete lies about me and letting people believe things that are simply untrue. Why should your reputation suffer and let her win with everyone at school thinking certain things about you?

It doesn’t seem a very healthy group. I certainly wouldn’t consider the 2nd person a “new friend”. Given her strongly expressed views (and reported first person sighting of your ex), could the conversation have happened through a mutual discussion in your absence? Either one (or another of the group) could have made the report and Ana blocked you (perhaps because she was told of the ex by someone who wasn’t you!).

It’s upsetting, but you have dealt with it well. Perhaps take this latest conversation as a sign to focus on your friendships and even your own time outside of the playground.

If your child is happy, leave her where she is.

You need to make sure you counter what she has said or this will be following you and your kiss around forever.

Send them a msg and tell them UC contacted you and cleared up some false accusations. Just make sure they don't think you are implying they are the ones who did it.

If you want to distance yourself from them, do so after that. I have learnt from bitter experience that is better not to burn bridges completely.

With friends like that, who needs enemies! I would just avoid her for the future.

Lucky escape OP.

Ana is poisonous and you found out whilst you can easily defend yourself.

I'd tell the others about her lies etc. To put them on guard around her. They'll find her out so don't close the door to them, they may be OK people, sadly just easily lead....

Ana may have a mental heath problem or you're right she might just be evil, which would be a mental state/ behaviour - psychopath, psychopath etc...

Like I said lucky escape. Bless you x

I had an abusive ex did this
to me after we separated. It is heart breaking.
I feel for you more so as so many told and it being in a school setting with your child in the possible firing line too.

I agree telling them all about the malicious accusation. Remind them all that their mutual Frenemie is the one responsible, and that they should bare this in mind, for it clearly doesn’t take much for this psycho to flip and turn on them for no reason at all. They will be next. They clearly are amongst a wolf in sheeps clothing.

Stay strong and rise above

I may have missed this, and have probably missed the point of the thread.

However, was the 4.5k declared to UC? Or is your knowledge lacking and personal savings are not included as income.

Malicious allegations are a nightmare, but your situation sounds desperately chaotic.

I personally wouldn’t say anything as it could make things more difficult. Anna could maybe react if confronted and the friends sound just as bad. It might not even be Anna but one of the friends who has reported you and they want a reaction from you. This could get out of hand so I would avoid anyone and everyone who could be involved and I would only check out new schools and give yourself a fresh start. Sadly these are things that happen in life as there as some horrible people in this world. Say nothing to no one about Anna as you don’t want anything getting back to them causing more trouble as things get twisted and before you know it what you have said will be like a game of Chinese whispers. It sounds as if Anna and her friends would fall out with their own shadow so they are best to be avoided at all costs. I am so sorry that this happened to you. I wish you all the very best. Let us know how you get on.

totally agree with this group message telling them what happened and how sad and disappointed you are. You feel the need are to distance yourself from everyone because trust has been broken.

She sounds jealous and possessive over you. You certainly don't want ppl like that in your life. You are your own person and she couldn't take that. Don't become friends with her again. Just move on. And if your mutual friends have sided with her then these are also ppl you have to keep away from. Just ignore all of them. If I were you, I would move schools just to get a fresh start so you never bump into that group again- but that's just me.
I know it's raw at the moment but it will become old news sooner or later. Remember, this is a lesson for you. Don't go back.

‘The trust has been broken’

^^this.

I know it’s upsetting but these people have shown who they are. The others are just as bad.

Decent people don’t ‘investigate’ friends in this way. That is really shitty. Even as crimes go it’s hardly the crime of the century even if it was true. I’d be 🤔 if someone was making accusations about this kind of thing. So what if you did a bit of babysitting for example? Meh totally.

Ana is a nasty piece of work and the others are pathetic and scared of her. Give them all a wide berth.

Ana is absolutely unhinged.
This is absolutely rotten for you, OP