AIBU to only buy one twin a present?

[Fruitytoast]

The first school birthday party my son has been invited to, and it's a joint party, so not sure of the protocol.

He has come home with an invitation for his friend's birthday party. The friend is a twin. One twin is in his class, the other twin is in the same year group, but a different class. The invitation says along the lines of, 'You are invited to Frankie and Charlie's birthday party' - (names changed).

Do you only buy a present for the twin that is in his class and he plays with? Or do you buy both a present? For context, they're all 7, and I don't have lots of disposable income. Also, how much do you spend on a birthday present these days?

My gut tells me if you just buy a present for the one that's in his class, but I don't want to look like a tight a*se if everybody takes two presents, then my name is mud on the school yard. And for one twin to be upset when their sibling has more presents at the end of the day.

I would buy two presents, and skip the cards. Just write a little note on the present who it's for. The invitation is for both children's party, not just the one. Just spend a fiver on each if that is what you can afford, but no 7 year old I have ever known is bothered about a card.

That may have been done that for convenience or economy, as there will be an overlap and some friends may be joint.

Did you do them separate parties then?

I've already addressed that twice @RedHelenB Read the thread.

Mum of twins here. We recently had our first birthday party (age 2). Everyone that attended bought a present each which was nice because I like them to be seen as two people, but we ended up with so much stuff!

I only had one joint party for my twins but made it clear who was inviting who so parents didn't feel the need to buy 2 gifts, what most did was get a present for the one who invited them and a card and sweets for the other. DON'T do a joint present, please!

£5 each in a card.

You’ve been invited to a party for TWO children. It’s two presents. Just law each one £5-£7?

I have twins too and would advise you just buy for the child in your son's class and don't give it another thought. They get far too many presents as it is and I hate feeling that people have to buy one present far less two! I have actually worded invitations to joint parties in the past with only one of their names on it to try and stop people buying 2 gifts (and they are in the same class so more difficult).

I have always got two (or three!) presents for a joint party, but then the parent doing the invitation has always been pleasantly surprised that I had.

For twins though, imagine if one got a lot more presents than the other...could be rather awkward.

Twin mum here. If I'd invited you to both my kids party then I'd assume a present for both. As it is, you've been invited to the one child's party who happens to be sharing it with a twin so I think one present is fine. What I definitely wouldn't do is a joint present.

Just buy one present for the twin your child is friends with. I would only buy for both kids if my child was friends with both.

At that age I would buy one of those two packs of pyjamas you get in supermarkets, then give one pair to each child. Similar, but not identical presents and pyjamas are always useful.

This kind of thing:

tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/p/Blue-%26-Grey-Graffiti-Shortie-Pyjamas-%281-12-Years%29/140475067-Blue?searchTerm=pyjamas:newArrivals:department:Boys:department:Girls&searchProduct=

Why would you assume that? The invite is from Frankie and Charlie?

My son is friends with a twin and we buy for both and most others so too so we just always do it..

im friends with a twin but I only buy her a gift.. but she never has a joint party anymore 😂

I think the invitation is not worded well.

I would have thought it was only expected to buy a gift for the child in the same class as your son, but since your son has been invited by both children then it would probably be etiquette to buy for both.

I would have said "Frankie is inviting DS to their party, which is a joint party with Charlie". Then it would be clear that you only need to buy for Frankie.

Since this is a kids' party and your son only plays with Frankie I think it is fine to only buy for Frankie.

Whatever you do your name will not be mud on the school playground - unless you have a bunch of particular mean parents in your cohort!

I would not buy a joint present.

Maybe Charlie and Frankie's parents could re word invitations next time.

Dear xxxx,

Charlie would like to invite you to Charlie and Frankie's birthday party on……..

love from Charlie

On the "You've only been invited by one twin" thing; I knew someone that combined her 5 year olds party with her two year old's, and was loud in her condemnation of anyone not buying presents for both.

She thought it was unfair that the 5 year had more friends so got correspondingly more presents 😆
Despite, obviously, the two sets of children never having even met.
Some people are very odd.

I think £5.00 each in a card is a great idea. Many twins probably would appreciate their own presents, Having to share always probably becomes annoying.

Proper present for frankie and a box of Maltesers for the twin. A card for each

The party is for both of them therefore a present for both is needed. Bad etiquette to leave one out in my opinion. Oh and def go for a pack of Haribo if money is tight - my son had his party recently and that was his favourite gift!

In this situation I buy for both but get each a slightly smaller gift than I’d normally get - eg. if I would normally spend £7-£10 on a gift, I spend about £5 on each twin. This isn’t for the sake of being tight, just because I assume the mum and dad don’t want to be absolutely overwhelmed with stuff and would rather have a small present per child than one larger one for one child.

Eg. if I’d normally give a child say a Twisty Petz plus some sweets or pencils, I’d just get a Twisty Petz each (I have a DD so most twin gifts are for girls…)

The Works does good offer gifts and books, as do the supermarkets. You can often find 2 for £7 books at the supermarkets or on Amazon, and a book plus a bag of sweets each is always a well received present in my experience, as are mini Lego and Playmobil sets, Galt craft kits, notebooks and pencil sets, bubble machines, outdoor toys like French skippers, bat and ball or hoops, and absolutely anything from Flying Tiger.

Terrible idea! They are separate people.

Just buy for the one your child is friends with. And you don’t have to spend £8, thats a lot of money for some families.

Because it's nice for twins to be given something just for them