Dd and hairbrushing nightmare

[ShepherdMoons]

My dd has long thick hair, she is nearly 9 and every morning refuses to brush her hair or have it brushed for her. I have explained to her that school say it must be put up (especially as there are always cases of nits in her class).

She complains that it is painful and shouts at me and accuses me of hurting her. I have bought several different detangling brushes, sprays and tried all different approaches to this problem. This morning yet again she stormed off and slammed the door to the kitchen before school resulting in us being late once more for school.

I have suggested cutting it a bit shorter to help her but she is adamant she won't have it cut. I am increasingly stressed about the situation and really don't know what more to do about it.

I had this problem and I just kept it pleated all the time then it doesnt get in such a mess. Also if you brush from the bottom and inch your way up

🤣

Plait it in the evenings, teach her to brush it before you plait it.
Maybe avoid ever doing high ponytails/buns, as redirected hairstyles will always hurt more to do and require way more brushing. Wearing it in plaits or tied up no higher than her ears will help.

Yep! same here

We had this at that sort of age with dd, really long straight hair with a tendency to matt that she refused to have cut, hated having it brushed and often in a morning just smoothed into a pony tail with a tangle teezer with the underneath still tangled. I remember cutting the worst knots out too.

The best solution was putting it in plaits for days on end. Looking back she says the only thing we could have done differently is brush it more gently (I thought I was but she says DH was gentler).

Now she's 15 and it's still just as long but she's been brushing it herself since secondary, I think puberty may have helps at her hair gets quite oily at the roots. She has a tangle tamer brush, like a paddle brush, they're better than tangle teezers as they get to the underneath sections better.

We have the same issue, certain brushes are better than others. We got a cheap copy of a tangle teaser from amazon and thst combined with regular trims and conditioner have really helped. If it's too knotty in the morning I scoop it into a pony tail and just to a superficial vrusg round the outside so it looks done then get the tangles out later once its washed amd has conditioner in. Also buy some proper grown up shampo and conditioner for it because the kids ones are rubbish.

Oh I remember the pain inflicted on me by my mother. I gave fine hair that mats easily. I found plaiting it veggie bed for help. She was vicious and would just drag the brush straight through my hair rather than starting at the bottom and working the knots out. If she hit a tangle or knot sue just dragged at it with the brush. I screamed a few times and was told to ‘stand at peace’ and hit over the head with the brush. As soon as I could do my own hair I did.

I have a daughter the same both her and I hate having hair brushed but like long hair. Spary conditioner and if you hold the hair close to the scalp and brush pulls less. As others have suggested loose plaits to sleep and a silk pillow case/ bonnet works wonders! Daughter has very thick straight waist length hair mine is curly this method works for us both x

Wet it before you brush it, then plaits or pony tail. X

Op she might have the swim pains in her head that I have which is completely excruciating and caused by my hair loosening in the ponytail in the heavier parts of my hair weighing on thin strands. It's hard to explain but she has my complete sympathy if it is this and if so needs thinned/feathered and also cut maybe shoulder length. And when tied up use no kinks hair o bobble and use tangle teaser. It'll make the world of difference. And wear it down as much as possible

I can be found actually crying sometimes during brushing between washes
Just two weeks ago finally found the time for someone to watch ds 7mo while I had it super cut to stop the tears. Terrible hairdresser did naff all and I'm still in agony now trying to find another time for someone else to do it well. The relief I can't wait for

And the nit comb after washing in long tangled hair..my poor scalp! She joy combed every week to check for any. I never got any as they were probably scared off by my mother weirding that comb.

My daughter has curly hair so can only brush when wet. I just stick it in a ponytail without brushing. If it’s painful and takes ages it hardly sounds unreasonable she doesn’t want this done every morning

If her hair is in any way wavy or curly naturally, which I suspect it is, then please don't have it thinned out!! Have a look for curly girl kids groups on Facebook who'll guide you, but essentially if it's curly or wavy then only brush when it's soaking wet and has some conditioner.

If she won't brush it she has to have it cut shorter. She's old enough to understand that.

Get her to do it. Brushing your own hair doesn't hurt as much as someone else doing it as you control the pressure.

Gliss liquid silk spray on the brush helps too.