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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour smoking weed - what would you do

89 replies

Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 07:55

We're on a new build road and one of the residents in the middle of the lane is constantly outside the front of his house smoking weed in his work van, I personally hate the smell and if our windows are open it gets in as he's only 2 doors down from us. I and another neighbour have young babies and yesterday he was outside smoking weed while I was getting her in the pram and it just stank. I'd say it happens several times a day.
One of our neighbours has suggested reporting to our developer who manages the road, another friend said to report to his work as he smokes in his work van. This would be anonymous but I'm sure he would figure it out.
But none of that sits right with me and I'm considering just going up to him next time he's out smoking and politely asking him to do it elsewhere, but then if it goes poorly that's then a potentially quite awkward relationship established.
Or do I just leave it even though it really is bothering us and the surrounding houses
So essentially asking wwyd.
If it makes a difference he's in rented, I'm shared ownership and the other houses are just owned.
Yabu - leave it, you don't want to make it awkward
Yanbu - say something directly to him or escalate to the developer

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 23/05/2022 07:56

Say nothing and report him. If you say something he will assume it’s you that reported him.

BritWifeInUSA · 23/05/2022 07:57

Ask him to switch to edibles because you don’t like the smell.

TibetanTerrah · 23/05/2022 07:58

In pretty sure it's illegal to smoke in a commercial vehicle, or at least it was 7+ years ago when I smoked cigarettes. Is the van wrapped with the company name? If so he's probably doing it elsewhere in the day and bringing the company into disrepute.

Miffee · 23/05/2022 07:59

I'd say something to him and ask him to go elsewhere. People who smoke weed become immune to the smell, I walked past somebody outside of a train station smoking a joint recently. I told him it stunk (in a friendly way) and immediately moved, worried about the police no doubt. Your neighbour probably thinks you all don't notice. Telling him will likely do him favour.

Original poster
Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 08:01

@TibetanTerrah it is, with company name and numbers. Thing is I don't want to report him and get him into trouble or for him to lose his job as his girlfriend is pregnant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 08:03

@Miffee yeah I think they do, It's one of those smells that really does travel, far more than cigarettes. I might try catch his eye and say hi next time and just casually mention it.. just worried about the response. I don't know him, he seems friendly enough so hopefully he would be receptive

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 23/05/2022 08:03

So he’s going to be around a baby stinking of weed too.

Furrbabymama87 · 23/05/2022 08:04

Then don't be a grass.

Original poster
Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 08:04

@KangarooKenny yep! If it was boyfriend I wouldn't be happy at all as I've known weed smokers before and they stink

OP posts:
Original poster
Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 08:05

@Furrbabymama87 what do you mean? I said I wouldn't report to his company.

OP posts:
Beck01 · 23/05/2022 08:06

Bit extreme to report to his work FFS. Does he even know he is bothering you?

Give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him know it is affecting you and other neighbour. If it continues then take the next reasonable step but getting the man possibly sacked is fucked up imo.

P.s. i'm not a smoker and also think it smells

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 08:06

I would follow him, find out where he parks in the day and stake out tondee if he smokes in there. If he does, I would then report him to his company at that location. Then he would never be able to link it back to you.

Stupid I know, but neighbourly relations going south are never a good thing!

Beck01 · 23/05/2022 08:07

Maybebabyno2 · 23/05/2022 08:06

I would follow him, find out where he parks in the day and stake out tondee if he smokes in there. If he does, I would then report him to his company at that location. Then he would never be able to link it back to you.

Stupid I know, but neighbourly relations going south are never a good thing!

Goodness gracious me! Hmm

Original poster
Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 08:08

@Beck01 thanks! I said I wouldn't report him to his work as would never want someone to lose their job over something like this.

OP posts:
ChickensandCows · 23/05/2022 08:08

Just go and talk to him. He obviously doesn't realise the impact. If he acts a twat then report him. Simple.

fluffycereal · 23/05/2022 08:09

I wouldn't do anything. I'm cautious of approaching people as you never know how they will react. Reporting him (to who?) will do nothing.

Amelion · 23/05/2022 08:10

Is he actually doing you any harm? It sounds like you get occasional wafts of the smell, not great but hardly a big deal. You sound a bit precious. Don’t rat him out to his work, what a horrible thing to do.

Original poster
Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 08:12

@Amelion as I've said multiple times and in the op I wouldn't report him to his work as agree that is out of order and with harmful consequences.
If it's precious to not want to smell weed multiple times a day at the front and back of our house then I guess I'm precious. If it was every now and then I wouldn't care, but multiple times a day gets a bit much. Especially when we're opening windows and outside much more in the summer with a baby

OP posts:
Miffee · 23/05/2022 08:13

Flopsy145 · 23/05/2022 08:03

@Miffee yeah I think they do, It's one of those smells that really does travel, far more than cigarettes. I might try catch his eye and say hi next time and just casually mention it.. just worried about the response. I don't know him, he seems friendly enough so hopefully he would be receptive

That sounds like a plan, there is no accounting for dickheads but in my experience most people are happy to make minor adjustments for others. Mumsnet opinions about things like this (neighbour disputes, smoking weed) are always very unrepresentative of my real life experience.

The fact is he has a job and a baby on the way and he is doing something illegal. He would have to be not only a complete dick but also exceptionally stupid to want to cause trouble with you over a perfectly reasonable request. He has a lot to lose.

Minimalme · 23/05/2022 08:14

Don't report to the developer, they don't have any interest in the houses once they are built and occupied.

If it's social rent you could speak to his HA, but the best thing to do is to ask him if he could smoke away from your front door because you are worried about your baby.

It's ok to talk to him about it, just keep it friendly.

Also, although it smells, it won't be harming your baby - he works so most of the day he will be out and you can just shut baby's window when he is around.

I have a neighbour who smokes weed but that is actually his least irritating habit because he is such a twat in so many other ways Grin

PaulaTrilloe · 23/05/2022 08:15

If he smokes during the course of his workday he's driving stoned. If you report to his employer they might subject hin to a 'random' drug test.

ImAvingOops · 23/05/2022 08:15

@Maybebabyno2 how do you think neighbourly relations will work out if the OP starts stalking him Grin

I know this is annoying but when you live in close proximity to other people you have to be a bit tolerant of their irritating behaviour. If he was cooking really strong smelling food you wouldn't be able to stop that so I'd be inclined to view it as similar.
It could be a lot worse - he isn't playing loud music at all hours, or waking you up with diy at the crack of dawn, or has an annoying yappy dog or screechy kids or loud friends that he entertains in the garden all summer, or sets fire to his garden waste when you have washing out like the people who live near me

If you go down this route be prepared for him to expect perfection from you at all times or to do things which are perfectly legal but will annoy you more. I'd leave it be tbh.

MrsMoastyToasty · 23/05/2022 08:15

Does he drive under the influence of drugs?

Jalepenojello · 23/05/2022 08:16

Surprised by these responses tbh. He is smoking illegal substances publicly, in and around his branded work van and expects nothing to happen while he presumably drives around high? I would report

Miffee · 23/05/2022 08:18

Jalepenojello · 23/05/2022 08:16

Surprised by these responses tbh. He is smoking illegal substances publicly, in and around his branded work van and expects nothing to happen while he presumably drives around high? I would report

I read it that he smokes in his van as a shelter so to speak. Not that he is smoking then driving.