to think that if you regularly work out in gyms...

[daretodenim]

..you haven't been approached by a random woman - not an employee - who off the bat offered unsolicited advice on what you should be lifting or your form?

This idea came up on another thread but I didn't want to derail.

I've not had it happen to me recently because I'm rarely in the gym, but definitely had random men do this when I was there more often. I've got a qualification in personal training and the advice they gave was usually nonsense for my body. I thought it was because I was younger, but a couple of friends have had it recently (since lockdown ended) and they're 49 & 50.

In all my years of working out though, I never had a random woman tell me I should be doing it differently. The most random women would say, if anything, was "Hi" as we passed and recognised each other. Or ask if I'd finished with some equipment. No unsolicited advice at all.

Anybody find women do it too?

oh gawd, the rowing machines!! I have to look away sometimes and just imagine their boat sinking as their "oars" wave around! But i'd never think of saying anything to someone.
Never had unsolicited advice from anyone in my gym, male or female, but it's a fairly small and friendly place.

😂 I actually questioned my rowing technique after watching countless men writhe around on them like the kraken was pulling them under.

PT said I was doing just fine ☺️

The noises some men make makes me laugh. I’ll be working out with my PT and we’re there trying not to laugh sometimes.

Or the way some men slam weights down, barbells and on machines. If they can’t safely control the weights then it’s probably too heavy!

I definitely feel there needs to be less anger around having form corrected though if a qualified instructor is offering advice to help be prevent injury. After years of having a PT I can recognise things like Lat pull down or rows being done incorrectly but I’d be too shy to let the person know.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe it's not true. Because it's accepted and understood that everyone's mobility is different. The top fitness professionals and physios will advise you that it's fine if your body naturally moves that way. Knees over toes means don't let them collapse inwards or outwards.

I do agree. I see a girl in the gym who rounds her lower back during deadlifts, I don't approach as I don't want to upset her, but I did mention it to a PT to have a quick and friendly word.
I think lift adaptations are fine but you're right, things like the lower back are so vulnerable, one wrong move and it could be really awful.

Quite. So making pronouncements, either way, as to whether something should or shouldn't be done is moot altogether. Everybody is different.

I'll take advice from a professional who knows me.

no you have no duty of care to other gym goers....or to the people who are in tescos when you are......

It's not just gyms though. I used to hike with a friend and we'd actively avoid taking a map out if there were any guys in sight because they'd come up and try to 'help'. We were never lost, we were just choosing which path we preferred or working out the shortest route to a cafe!

Similarly I was once on a station platform, putting my backpack on and a random bloke came up behind me and grabbed it to 'help' me put it on. I didn't need his help, he was upsetting my balance and I had to tell him to let go before he would leave me alone.

I have never had a woman approach me to give advice, I have had woman (who I don't know) want to start up a chat ! I'm in a gym to work out, leave me alone. I do end up replying as I think maybe I'm the only conversation they have that day, but it does annoy me.

But I have never had a man try to give me advice and I have and do, spend a lot of time in the gym.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe that's what everyone should be doing. Listening to a professional if they are unsure, someone who knows any past injuries etc. not a random person

we'd actively avoid taking a map out if there were any guys in sight because they'd come up and try to 'help'.

I used to live in the middle of nowhere, with lots of footpaths and a river. Many times a walking group would look at our garden, trying to find the footpath - there wasn't one at all on our side of the road. All footpaths went down hill towwards the river, none went uphill to the ridge. There was a lovely road though.

One group of men came marching into the garden, round the back of the house, scared the living daylights out of me. I asked the one with the map to show me where he thought the footpath was on his map and, trying not to giggle, stood him facing up our garden, river to the left, ridge to the right and turned his map the right way up

He still absolutely insisted that there really should be a footpath in the corner of our garden but his walking companions quickly found another map and took him off up the road. His certainty still bemuses me now, about 7 years on.

Been a gym goer for decades and when I was single I did get unsolicited advice of course only from men. I suspect it was a chat up. I never do now because I probably look grumpy and peri menopausal lol
A few women have said hi or made a joke about something but with women it’s always quite unassuming

Never women. Only men.

Lol happens with surfing too. I only surf really small safe waves due to having a medical issue.... I've had men practically run over to me as I'm walking down to get in the sea just to be able to say something along the lines of "you won't catch much in there today!" Or "bit flat for surfing today!" Etc etc etc.

I just smile and then go in and proceed to have a lovely time catching tiny wave after tiny wave.

I’ve been tempted only once when I saw a woman doing lat pulldowns which would have probably caused injury if she kept doing them how she was doing them, but she looked very unfriendly and I didn’t think giving her some advice would’ve gone down well. Instead, I hopped on the pulldown next to her and did them correctly in the hope she’d catch on!

We used to bollock persistent offenders for slamming weight around and down.
The worst ones are those that throw the dumbells down and go get another set and another set. The rack had a big notice asking gym-goers to re-rack when done.
Those dickheads leaning back on the pulldown.😂Slam, slam.
People getting into the machines the wrong way around.😂

We used to walk in and tell them off.😂Oi.

@WhackingPhoenix ive seen some very wrong ways of using the Lat pulldown and I really want to offer advice but I’m terrified of being shouted at. There’s some things like this machine where you DO need help and instruction to perform the exercise correctly. Or when you see people performing reps far too quickly and not controlling the weight.

I have a PT and some things like bent over row need instruction and help.

I agree with the spirit of this thread but I HAVE been approached by a woman at the gym, helpfully advising me that my bum should touch the floor when I squat 🙄

If there isn't a gym instructor on site, then probably a more constructive solution would be e.g. the gym adds a QR code to each machine which, when scanned, takes you to a short video on correct technique and one on watch outs.

Not to point out the obvious, but if I'm accosted by a rando offering unsolicited "advice", either I already know what I'm doing in which case they can feck off, or I have no way whatsoever of evaluating whether they know what they, and more pertinently I, am doing, and the world is not short of men who massively overestimate their knowledge of things they actually know jack about.

Did the other thread get pulled? It's disappeared for me but I don't know why it would have been unless I missed some posts that broke guidelines?

No, well not as of about 1 minute ago! ... runs off to have a look...

I've never had a stranger give me advice in the gym. So either I look like I know my shit, I have an unfriendly face or I'm not attractive enough for a man to want to approach me.

It's all 3.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman give me completely unsolicited advice (in any context, not just the gym) in the way The Random Man does - ie approaching you for the sole purpose of delivering their entirely unsolicited opinion. When women have offered me advice it’s always at least been in the context of an ongoing conversation.

Oh I’d never approach anyone as I’m not qualified and only have my own personal experience of knowing some moves are weird to get right. But I’d hope that if a qualified PT approached someone with help to avoid injury or to get the most out of an exercise it wouldn’t cause anger.

Ive been in classes where an instructor came over to correct me, bit embarrassing but I’d rather have help than look silly doing things wrong.

I had dropped my iPod and it slid under a machine some years ago. Two of the gym staff were trying to get it out by sliding a long piece or cardboard as lifting the machines isn’t good for them. An older bloke in his 60’s had to come over and ask what was going on, give his two pennies worth etc. i just wanted to scream In frustration to go away. He kept asking what an
i-pod was and what it looked like. It was nothing at all to do with him but he kept butting in.