AIBU to ‘blame’ my job for my weight gain?

[fat13]

Please note - ‘blame’ in inverted commas as I know that ultimately I’m the reason I’ve gained weight, but I do think work is a bit of a trigger.

Life is v busy and stressful. On top of this, I am a teacher and I know I get good holidays but tbh it’s still getting me down a fair bit.

Ive gained weight. Largely because im run down and tired and drained at the end of every day and I’m turning to food as a quick pick me up for comfort and for energy and to feel good.

Has anyone ever broken this cycle or am I going to have to think of alternative careers?

You see I do t think it’s the job that’s the problem at all. I just think your head isn’t in the right place at the moment and that’s why you’re putting obstacles in front of everything anyone suggests to you. It needs that magic switch to flip on your head and then you’ll just get on and do it. Until it it does you’ll be going “but, but, but…”

I find that once my head is in the right place I just crack on and get in with it. Until that happens, I’ve got a million excuses - including too busy / stressed / too much going on.

sadly, I don’t know how to make that switch flip. If I did I’d be very rich. And thin.

@BitOutOfPractice i guess because I know how big the contrast between being off work and being in work is/was … I mean, the fact is I need to get my head in the space so I need to consider ways I can actually do that.

Honestly, that sounds like ‘magic solution’ thinking.

You’ll still have stresses and your go-to instinct will still be emotional eating. Meal replacement shakes work short-term but aren’t a long term solution so eventually

Teaching is no doubt a hugely stressful and challenging daily routine - but there are times you can eat, and if you change what you eat in those times, you will avoid the end of day/evening poor choices.

Being a working mother is exhausting. No denying that. But you can change what food you eat without ditching your job entirely. Have you always struggled with teaching and your weight alongside each other? Are you looking at maternity leave & your weight loss on meal replacements then with a bit of rose-tinted spectacles (no judgement! I’d like another 6-12 months off work at the moment myself!)?

Most people aren’t financially secure enough over the long-term to give up work entirely. So if you really think a career change is what you need to be all-round happier, what will you do next?

I keep a packet of Ryvita and a couple of those Philadelphia mini pots so that if I'm ever suddenly really hungry I have that rather than diving on any sugary crap.

Doesn't always work (usually depending on the time of the month) but more often than not it does.

I would suggest weight gain is linked to unhappiness, boredom or stress at work.

You mention the gym on maternity leave. Are you getting to go regularly now too?

No sadly, haven’t been to the gym for weeks!

How do you think that people in other ‘busy, stressful’ careers manage? Those conditions are not unique to teaching.

It’s not your career choice that is the problem. It’s your weird relationship with food. You tell us that you eat in secret, that you starve yourself during the day and that your preferred method of losing weight is those godawful meal replacement things. How is that going to lead to you being healthy and fit?

As other have suggested, you need to plan healthy nutritious meals.

I think they are better people than me @Iamthewombat but the point is I’m not them, so that doesn’t actually help.

Google 'stress cortisol weight gain' to give you an idea of how they all works. Lack of sleep impacts weight as well as the usual diet & exercise info.

Get into a habit of gentle exercise to help with stress & weight. Even just 20 mins a day can make a big difference..,

Overhaul your diet- loads of information out there. batch cook and keep healthy snacks at hand.

Another who batch cooks.

I have a soup maker and make 6 lots a week and freeze.

Heat in morning whilst making my coffee and Chuck in a thermos.

Make quiche or savoury muffins for snacks.

Rice cakes are good too.

Boil eggs and keep in fridge.

Jars of beetroot.

Ds swims after school too 4/5 nights and so I need to be full and not so hungry I eat crap afterwards.

So rice cakes, beetroot, eggs, soft cheese all ready in fridge.

I also eat fruit with quark. That's very filling and seems to hit me enough I don't crave other sweet stuff.

Can you make that a priority, rather than focusing on the food? Sometimes getting back into an exercise routine is helpful because it relieves stress/releases endorphins and that encourages us to eat more healthily alongside it. And you get some time to yourself too/avoid bedtime once or twice a week!

As with most difficult things, it’s a self-image or self-belief thing: you have to identify as someone who likes the gym and healthy eating more than chocolate and staying at home. Easy to say, not so easy to put into practice - but you can fake it til you make it.

I’m an EYP in a school and work same hours as you. I lost a significant amount of weight while maintaining my role. I run before work and make something to do weekday lunches on a Sunday so I’m not toiling to eat well at work.

My workplace is full of staff, including teachers, who fad diet or don’t eat all day, then go home and eat crap. None of them lose a pound and most put on.

It’s not their job, it’s their duff relationship with food, lack of knowledge and succumbing to the diet industry promises.

It is and as you say it is easier said than done, obviously only a certain number of hours in a day and this is largely why I’m considering overhauling my entire life.

What will you do next if you give up teaching?

I don’t know. It might be I just take some time out. All I know is something has to give, and I can’t put my kids back!

Also, as has been said on here before…you can’t outrun a bad diet. Regular exercise helps but eating well is key. You won’t lose weight by going to three exercise classes a week then caving and ordering a pizza because you haven’t eaten all day. Take something decent to work with you. You’re a grown up fgs.

Thanks, I have noticed that and I have done so, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. It’s probably just me.

You say this,Yet you think changing careers will help?!

Sorry @Rainbowshit i am probably being really slow but I don’t get what you mean there, could you clarify?

When I have gained weight rapidly it has usually been when life is too busy and cooking goes out of the window, certainly.

It's ok to leave teaching, OP. You clearly want people to give you permission to leave by agreeing that it's the only way you can be healthy - but you don't need that or any other 'excuse'. If it's making you miserable then that's reason enough.

Also, I would say when I say it’s a self-image or identity thing, what I mean is that it’s a self-talk thing, primarily. You do have control over what you tell yourself about yourself. You do have control over what you put into your mouth to eat. You do have the same stuff inside you to allow you to change whatever you want to change. You have to believe that, that’s the trick.

But whatever you do, the changes are always internal (self-belief) rather than external (circumstances). Some circumstances make changes more challenging. Some people have been given less opportunities to practise successful positive self-talk. But we can all do it if we recognise it’s inside us, the power to change, not outside of us in other things or people changing.

That sounds either bossy, Pollyanna or woo-woo but it’s the basis of CBT, which is extremely effective for behaviour change and positive mental health outcomes for things like emotional eating.

I get a 15 minute lunch break at my work…15 MINUTES…FUCK ALL!

Lunch at work this week will consist of simple stuffed peppers to be reheated in the micro (2 mins) and served with salad. Easy as fuck. Healthy as fuck. Filling as fuck. Delicious as fuck.
I won’t hit 3.30 and crumble.

@Hardbackwriter i know, that’s not why I started the thread although I appreciate it may look that way! I’m just thinking out loud really and considering what’s going wrong and how I can put them right.

That might be giving up teaching but also might not be. I’m just conscious that I’m not coping particularly well at the moment. I’m just musing really. It’s not so much teaching as teaching plus a thousand other pressures … and that’s leading me to overeat/binge eat.

Like I said earlier, it’s rare for most people to be in such a secure financial position that it’s a long-term option not to earn, so whilst a short-term stint as the at-home parent might be what you need if you’re in crisis, I’d think really carefully about a longer term plan before you jump.