To hate him

[goodsturdygirl]

I want to separate from my partner. I've told him & why and asked to sell the house, several times. He has ignored everything I've said and is carrying on as normal. I want space and feel like I can't breathe. He went out and kids were being a pain but nothing major. Came home to me stressed but him being there made me feel worse. I didn't say or do anything but I suppose it was obvious from my face and behaviour. He said 'have I done something' (in front of the kids) & I said no it's fine. Then he said it again but sort of towards my eldest. My son said 'maybe just leave her alone'. He kept on and I just said please can you leave me alone. Then he just stood there and stared at me watching as I sorted tea etc out. I said 'what?' & he said 'I'm just trying to work out if I need to call an ambulance or the police, this is very concerning' I fucking hate him so much.

He wont want you to claim - but sod that. It is your right to claim it.

It gives you added national insurance credits which are vital for state pension- claim it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️ & @Maray1967 I will apply tomorrow. So much useful advice, I am very grateful.

People do not lose residency of their children due to mental illness or being a poor parent otherwise half the men in the country would never see their children 🙄

Is the amount you paid for the house actually legally tied up? Did you buy it with you legally having a set proportion on sale?

Half the men in the country are poor parents?

You need professional help.

I think this is a good strategy. But do talk to Women's Aid. And consider carefully if he is likely to become violent or try to lock you in the house or anything like that.

Well he's being very nice atm which is making me suspicious. He said the viewing can go ahead. Said he feels 'hopeless' & wishes he could change my mind. Not sure what to make of it. Really hope we get an offer then will see what happens.

No @bare and I did put in a bit more than him but I'd be surprised if he would con me out of my deposit. He will definitely protect his money but hopefully be fair when it come to what is rightfully mine.

On that point, you seem to feel,that half the additional equity above the deposits in the house is rightfully yours, despite you having contributed much less towards the purchase.

I can’t see how you hope to convince your partner or a court that that’s the case. A fair split is more likely to mean that you both make the same return on your investment, so for example if one person has put in twice as much as the other then they should get 2/3 of the excess return.

I put more in. 50k more than him.

I am really really not after his money

This is why you need legal advice. A good solicitor will take your home financials and compute it all out for you into reasonable pounds and pence.

She has a history of mental illness, she needs to ensure she gives no reason to open a door to the husband claiming she’s not a good mother.

Having poor mental health does not make someone a poor mother. Also, the husband is not the arbitor of whether the op is a good mother or not. He can claim what he likes. I think this is just scaremongering.

The op's financial arrangements will also bear no relevance to whether or not she gains custody. Whether she siphons money or not simply isn't relevent as to whether she is best placed to care for the dc. It the same way that non-resident parents who withhold maintenence payments don't loose the right to see their dc.

This is not true in my experience. Both parties agreed to jointly own an item (the house), when it is sold they are likely to receive half each unless they agree something else between them.

There's no divorce, so unlikely that a judge will get involved in preferencing the finances of either party.

I think this is perfectly fair, as it is highly likely that the op has supported the partner's career by undertaking a larger amount of the unpaid work in the household.

I think it's bizarre.

One partner works full time therefore pays the mortgage. The other doesn't work or works part time providing the bulk/all the childcare enable the other to work.

Why do people claim that being the childcare provider has no financial value?

Do people have no idea what a nanny costs? A SAHM parent is on hand 24/7 to provide childcare for the other party to work, and usually does the lion-share of household care etc. so housekeeper and nanny in one.