To ask what your 17 year old DS is like. I’m afraid I’ve failed as a parent.

[Veryfullon]

My DS is doing A’levels (1st year of them). He’s clever so is doing OK by doing the bare minimum but could be doing really well with a bit of extra effort. He was planning on university after school but shows no interest in looking at courses etc but also has no other ideas for what he wants to do after school. As university open days etc are coming up soon he needs to start thinking about it but just can’t be bothered.
He has absolutely no idea about money and responsibilities. He earns a small amount in a Saturday job he does every other week then goes out with his girlfriend and spends loads on clothes and expensive meals. His savings (birthday and Christmas money) are dwindling away as he’s not earning anywhere near enough to support this. If I ask him if he’s interested in earning extra money by doing a job for me he’s always reluctant and can’t be bothered.
I’m truly worried I’ve raised a lazy, entitled lad with no drive😔

He sounds pretty normal to me. Not everyone knows what they want to do at 17 and you don't need to go to uni open days to pick a university - DD2 didn't, DD1 only went to the one she had researched as being the best fit for her. our DS does need to pull his weight at home more, but otherwise he sounds pretty much par for the teenager course.

I wouldn't make the assumption that uni is the definite next step if he has no interest. Assume instead that he will leave school and get a job, any job, to start. If it turns out to be dull and poorly paid he will start to think about wider options. Much better to go to uni with a purpose than just because.

I think you're being very tough on him. He has a job, has passes his test, has a gf? Jeez give the kid a break!

Wow OP, maybe my standards with my kid are low 😂 but you raised a clever box who is doing well at A-levels without much effort, has a job and a girlfriend anf doesn't want money from you? I'd say you've done a stellar job!

Not a high school drop-out, not a drug-addict, not a young father and no criminal record - tick tick tick ✔️ 😃

Is this a stealth brag OP? 🤣

Apologies for the typos

He’s not 35!

Give him time to grow and develop interests within the adult world before expecting him to be motivated by university ffs.

He sounds fine…got a wee job, girlfriend, passed his driving test. Spends his money on clothes and food, like they all do.
What are you complaining about?

His lack of interest in investment banking?

I was about to tell you what MY son was like at 17 but I don’t think I’ll bother.
You’ve lived a sheltered life.

You don't know you're born! Cut the kid some slack, he is doing fine!

Well he’s doing better than me at that age! I always blew through birthday and Christmas money as I got it (the concept of having savings was wasted on me), had a couple of brief stints of part time work but never stuck them out for long. Coasted through my A levels. Was all just about hanging out with friends. Have gone on to be quite successful.

Your expectations sound high, which isn’t a terrible thing in itself, but you seem to have a bit of a nasty attitude towards him.

Agree with this!

He sounds like a normal 17 year old very similar to my son at that age.
They grow out of it. Mine is now a very hard working , responsible adult.