To run away screaming from the local Jubilee street party?

[PartyHater]

I’m sure in some areas a street party might be a lovely thing to take the dc to. I’m imagining freshly cut green lawns, face painting, everyone enjoying themselves and maybe being just a little bit merry.

But that isn’t my area.

My area is fucking terrifying on a normal Monday morning (really, some man attempted to get me in to his house last Monday AM when I was walking the dog after the school run, asking me if I ‘smoked bruv’) let alone a Friday where everyone has arranged to meet in the street outside my house.

The leaflet said there would be face painting and a little something for the adults. Knowing this area, that little something will be copious amounts of drugs, alcohol and it will be considered a boring night if at least a few faces don’t get smashed in or houses/cars vandalised. My youngest son has autism and is noise sensitive, and I know that the ‘party’ will not finish until 4am at the earliest.

We are planning to travel on the said Friday morning to a large nearby forest for the day, taking a picnic, and then staying in a cheap hotel for the night that allows dogs.

DM, who lives in a similar area, says we are being ridiculous. She says that the dc will love it and she is sure that everyone will be well behaved because there are children there (not sure why that would be the case when they don’t seem to care about that usually). She now has the huff with me as I have insisted we are sticking to running away to the woods for the day.

In this scenario, am I being unreasonable?

It will also free up space for you & your DC @Tontostitis

I'm sure you will be delighted to party on down in an area where men try to pull you into their houses off the street, & vandalism & face-smashing are a regular occurrence.
You won't even need to pack your own drugs, as you can score on the street. Winner!

And bonfire night for people who live in Lewes.

It's a puzzle of Sphinxian proportions, isn't it @Oblomov22? 💩

If only the feckless poor would buy themselves a nice little pied a terre in Kensington, the idle scoungers.

I live in a really nice area however, nothing would compel me to mix with my neighbors and certainly not a street party. I'm hoping that nothing will happen. I plan to lie around in the sun.

I think your solution sounds lovely, and very sensible. It is what I would do.

I am not keen on parties. I do like the occasional drink but dislike drunkenness and certainly can't stand drug taking.

Stick to your guns. Getting away from it will be the best thing to do.

Not speaking for Oblomov but it looks like she was clumsily trying to show sympathy for the OP's situation.

The reality will be that many people are living, with no real choice involved, in communities and areas they'll never fit into or be able to participate or feel safe in and no prospect of moving, unlike the OP. Probably no other choice than homelessness as has been said.

I'm sure your pronouncements about the safety of an area you know nothing about is way more informed than OP's - after all, she only lives there, & obviously isn't as clever as your non-judgemental self, @Member869894

In other news, making a risk assessment & prioritising your children isn't "judgement". It's evaluation.

That goes for you too, @pinata
I’ve lived in some fairly grim places - the kinds that make all the “most deprived” lists - but actually the people living there were overwhelmingly nice, good people, trying to get somewhere in life. Local get togethers were a way of building community. Maybe if you went, you’d actually be less worried? In my experience, that kind of area was much friendlier than the very middle class area I’m in now

One of you is patently OP's mother. Come on - own up!

It must be hell. I used to hate it when I lived near a football ground but being near a festival sounds infinitely worse and goes on for days.

And the football supporters only ever pissed in my garden, never shat in it.

A friend used to live in Pilton, the village nearest to the Glasto site. She moved.

Hotel sounds excellent!

meanwhile, if your Mum worries you’ll be missing out on all the fun again, why not suggest she comes and house sits for you for the weekend? She can have fun at the party, and your house won’t be completely empty if/when the rebels turn riotous.

Stop digging. In both senses. Just stop it now.

I like your username, Kettriken! A Robin Hobb fan I presume.

No she feckin' wasn't.

She was pouring scorn, from a position of wilful ignorance. She opines:
OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places?

She reckons that people CHOOSE poverty, & rough areas.

I don't disagree. I didn't see the other post and I definitely said the 'choice' part was wrong, which it certainly is.

Hello @darisdet - i am the original Witted Bastard, aye.

How lovely to 'meet' a fellow fan.
There are a few of us scattered through the skill river MN platform, sometimes the username gives a clue, sometimes they pop up with a cheeky reference -
🐺😍
Hobb is ... incomparable! xx

PartyHater - you are awesome!

Raising a family, putting in the hard graft of a Care job, AND getting 85% scores for your degree work?

Have a lovely weekend in the forest, stuff your mother, & take PP's advice - stop telling her anything. She doesn't have your best interests at heart, & next time you find yourself questioning whether it's reasonable to take a different path than she wants you to stick to ... remember which one of you is acing university, & keep trucking.

Apologies if that read as a scold to you @darisdet - certainly not the intention.

It was just easier to make the point by using your quote - & there's nothing wrong with trying to see the good in others - you are evidently kinder & more patient than I.

Thank you, I’m really enjoying my studies and very excited about the future 👍

DM has form for being overly critical and controlling. I’ve mainly managed to avoid it with low contact but she occasionally gets a bee in her bonnet and starts to wind up. She’s if the opinion that it’s antisocial of us, and what harm does a bit of drinking (binge drinking) around children do (a lot as I can testify from my childhood).

As an aside, @KettrickenSmiled and @darisdet you’ve reminded me to start re-reading my Hobb collection 😁👍 though I couldn’t bring myself to re-read the journey of Fitz after the last book! Might revisit the rainwilds or soldier boy again.

As you have an autistic dc who is noise sensitive it is of course the best thing to do to keep him away.

I'm not a street party fan tbh I much prefer a local park fun day type set up when you can come and go as you please.

Lots of good wishes to you OP …. Keep on going you’re doing great!

Another Hobbling, OP!

Thanks for the reminder - I'm due a re-read of Soldier Boy. Loved the way Hobb writes about the natural magic - so different again from the Wit or the Skill 😘

@KettrickenSmiled

Have you read all the posts? No one said immediately. But there are things that can be put into place to at least try. As OP herself said she is doing a STEM degree.

Of course. But presumably you are trying to move away. Making plans, trying to do a degree as one poster has said she is doing, to at least try and move.

But not everyone is capable of university.

Not everyone can get a high-earning job.

Some people are always going to be low-earners.

They don't really have much choice.

How you choose to spend your day has nothing to with your mother. Enjoy your day away.

Have you read mine? I advised you to stop digging. Yet here you still are, backtracking like a pro ...

Yes. But I don't see why I should.
Are you saying moving is always impossible? In some circumstances it is. Most not.