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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To run away screaming from the local Jubilee street party?

146 replies

PartyHater · 21/05/2022 08:01

I’m sure in some areas a street party might be a lovely thing to take the dc to. I’m imagining freshly cut green lawns, face painting, everyone enjoying themselves and maybe being just a little bit merry.

But that isn’t my area.

My area is fucking terrifying on a normal Monday morning (really, some man attempted to get me in to his house last Monday AM when I was walking the dog after the school run, asking me if I ‘smoked bruv’) let alone a Friday where everyone has arranged to meet in the street outside my house.

The leaflet said there would be face painting and a little something for the adults. Knowing this area, that little something will be copious amounts of drugs, alcohol and it will be considered a boring night if at least a few faces don’t get smashed in or houses/cars vandalised. My youngest son has autism and is noise sensitive, and I know that the ‘party’ will not finish until 4am at the earliest.

We are planning to travel on the said Friday morning to a large nearby forest for the day, taking a picnic, and then staying in a cheap hotel for the night that allows dogs.

DM, who lives in a similar area, says we are being ridiculous. She says that the dc will love it and she is sure that everyone will be well behaved because there are children there (not sure why that would be the case when they don’t seem to care about that usually). She now has the huff with me as I have insisted we are sticking to running away to the woods for the day.

In this scenario, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 09:25

Of course. But presumably you are trying to move away. Making plans, trying to do a degree as one poster has said she is doing, to at least try and move.

ancientgran · 21/05/2022 09:25

I live in a nice area, low crime, lovely front gardens and I'd run away if it wasn't for the fact we have relatives visiting. We didn't realise the significance of the date when it was arranged.

I have been to some lovely street parties in the past but partying with my neighbours is not something that appeals to me.

ancientgran · 21/05/2022 09:27

GoodVibesHere · 21/05/2022 08:49

I live in a well-to-do street, there will be a meticulously organised street party with competitive baking, and obvious judgement on the food items you bring. The women will wear posh dresses, they will fuss over the food table, there will be lots of standing around gossiping about neighbours and laughing about shite. There has been great discussion about which houses the bunting will be strung from.

The party is being organised by the usual ones - there's a group of women on the street really into this sort of thing. Many people in the street couldn't give a shit about the royal family, but will feel pressurised into going incase they are labelled as not being 'neighbourly'.

I won't be going 😂 I'll have to hide in the house, or go out for a long drive and a walk 😂

I wonder if we are neighbours, it sounds horribly similar.

converseandjeans · 21/05/2022 09:27

oblomov22

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

Because she comes from a family where she's considered a snob for wanting to get an education.
Because she works in minimum wage jobs.
Because it was all she could afford on a carers wage.

OP has said she is doing part time degree to improve her prospects.

YANBU to want to head off for the day & stay away overnight. Probably better for the dog too 👍🏻👍🏻

GreySquirrrel · 21/05/2022 09:30

Tontostitis · 21/05/2022 08:09

Please do it, your neighbours will be free of your judgemental presence and your dc will be safe from the peasants.

Oh do behave (hmm)

catandcoffee · 21/05/2022 09:32

Jobseeker19 · 21/05/2022 08:42

This is how nottinghill carnival feels when you live in the area

When did you move to this area though ?
Carnival has been going for 40+ years.

Themilkyway97 · 21/05/2022 09:35

@PartyHater YANBU, definitely not. I'd not want to participate either under those circumstances. I had to laugh at that guy calling you bruv though. We have an area like that a few streets away and if any event was happening there I'd not want my DC anywhere near !

Dahlietta · 21/05/2022 09:36

I am running screaming from my delightful local village jubilee picnic. I thought that's what this thread was going to be about. You are definitely not being unreasonable!

FlySwimmer · 21/05/2022 09:37

YANBU. I am leaving the country that weekend, with the ‘celebrations’ a big part in choosing those dates! I remember the insanity of VE Day in 2020 & not sitting through that again. And my neighbours are generally ok…

BraveryBot9to5 · 21/05/2022 09:38

Eugh, sounds awful. Go to a hotel! Definitely.

When I lived in London my neighbours had pigeon holed me I think, they liked to believe I'd made a better life in a wealthy country. They occasionally had little street parties which were torture. I went to be polite.
Now that I'm at home in Ireland they started doing this stuff during the pandemic and they were torture too. Different street, different people, same torture. I left as early as I could. I would rather sit inside re-watching breaking bad with earphones.

Georgeskitchen · 21/05/2022 09:39

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 08:36

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

Believe it or not some people don't really have a choice. You must live in a very insulated bubble if you think people can just "up sticks " and move to a nicer area. At least OP is working hard and taking steps to improve the living situation unlike some who want everything handed on a plate without making any effort ( probably like OPs awful neighbours 😅)

SunnyLobelia · 21/05/2022 09:43

You plans sound great. I would be doing the same particularly with a child with autism who will struggle with the whole experience.

Ignore your DM. I was considered snobby by my maternal side of the family because I don't do drugs. Happy to take the label tbh.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 21/05/2022 09:45

YANBU.

I live in an area that can be rather interesting and something like this would probably be OK. But if I thought for one minute there would be trouble you wouldn’t see me for dust, as bitter experience has taught me how quickly trouble can escalate.

So absolutely, ship out for the weekend, have a lovely break and tell your DM to attend in your place if she’s so bothered. She can update you on how it went Grin

picassobride · 21/05/2022 09:46

Hah, OP has no idea of the realities of this war and only likes to bleat and hand-wring about old Wiki articles that are full of factual misinformation.

johnd2 · 21/05/2022 09:47

I realise the whole point of this section is judgement, but honestly you are not being unreasonable to go away with your children at any time for any reason. If your mother gets the hump over you using your own autonomy then she is trying to be controlling and you need to remember that it's her problem not yours.

headofpotsandpans · 21/05/2022 09:47

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

Lol! "Have you tried not being poor?"

rainbowunicorn · 21/05/2022 09:48

Tontostitis · 21/05/2022 08:09

Please do it, your neighbours will be free of your judgemental presence and your dc will be safe from the peasants.

Behave, you would have to be a bit thick to want to subject a young family to what the OP describes. Maybe that's normal in your life but some of us set the bar a bit higher.

picassobride · 21/05/2022 09:48

Oh shitsky, wrong thread. I doubt OPs village is as bad as have its own Wiki page.
Sorry. Shall go and froth on the correct thread.

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 09:50

@Georgeskitchen
Don't misquote me.
Did I imply you that they could immediately "up sticks" and move? No. I never said anything of the sort.

But presumably most are putting into action/ at least trying to instigate things, that will eventually allow them to move?

KangarooKenny · 21/05/2022 09:50

I’d love to go away and escape our street party.

StiggyZardust · 21/05/2022 09:51

I think you're very wise to hide from any festivities. We're going to France for 4 days, avoiding the whole thing.

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 09:52

OP is doing a STEM degree. to presumably get a better job. And move. She's at least trying! Good for her.

rainbowunicorn · 21/05/2022 09:53

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 08:36

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

Can you really not think of a single reason that the OP still lives there? Do you think it is easy to just up and move when you earn minimum wage?
You do realise that some people have no choice about where they live, don't you? They live there because the only alternative is the streets.
If you had bothered to read the OPs posts you would see she is working towards getting a degree, presumably that will help her out of her circumstances.

Herja · 21/05/2022 09:53

pinata · 21/05/2022 08:59

I’ve lived in some fairly grim places - the kinds that make all the “most deprived” lists - but actually the people living there were overwhelmingly nice, good people, trying to get somewhere in life. Local get togethers were a way of building community. Maybe if you went, you’d actually be less worried? In my experience, that kind of area was much friendlier than the very middle class area I’m in now

See, that's where I live, but areas can be very different. My best friend's street is proposing a party that will involve all the drugs and much fighting, while children roam, jacked up on sugar and excitement, avoiding staggering, angry drunks... The latter sounds more like OPs situation.

I'd be doing the same OP. As it is, I'm avoiding our more normal drunk street party as I am a staunch republican and dislike drunk people. YANB at all U!

User280905 · 21/05/2022 10:01

Always thought I was useless at anything academic, but have been getting 85+ marks

You're brilliant @PartyHater

I hope all your hard work pays off, you sound really determined.

And have a lovely day and night away. Is it a Premier Inn? I love a Premier Inn breakfast

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