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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To run away screaming from the local Jubilee street party?

146 replies

PartyHater · 21/05/2022 08:01

I’m sure in some areas a street party might be a lovely thing to take the dc to. I’m imagining freshly cut green lawns, face painting, everyone enjoying themselves and maybe being just a little bit merry.

But that isn’t my area.

My area is fucking terrifying on a normal Monday morning (really, some man attempted to get me in to his house last Monday AM when I was walking the dog after the school run, asking me if I ‘smoked bruv’) let alone a Friday where everyone has arranged to meet in the street outside my house.

The leaflet said there would be face painting and a little something for the adults. Knowing this area, that little something will be copious amounts of drugs, alcohol and it will be considered a boring night if at least a few faces don’t get smashed in or houses/cars vandalised. My youngest son has autism and is noise sensitive, and I know that the ‘party’ will not finish until 4am at the earliest.

We are planning to travel on the said Friday morning to a large nearby forest for the day, taking a picnic, and then staying in a cheap hotel for the night that allows dogs.

DM, who lives in a similar area, says we are being ridiculous. She says that the dc will love it and she is sure that everyone will be well behaved because there are children there (not sure why that would be the case when they don’t seem to care about that usually). She now has the huff with me as I have insisted we are sticking to running away to the woods for the day.

In this scenario, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BlueKaftan · 21/05/2022 08:46

Good for you, OP. Sounds like a splendid way to the day.

GoodVibesHere · 21/05/2022 08:49

I live in a well-to-do street, there will be a meticulously organised street party with competitive baking, and obvious judgement on the food items you bring. The women will wear posh dresses, they will fuss over the food table, there will be lots of standing around gossiping about neighbours and laughing about shite. There has been great discussion about which houses the bunting will be strung from.

The party is being organised by the usual ones - there's a group of women on the street really into this sort of thing. Many people in the street couldn't give a shit about the royal family, but will feel pressurised into going incase they are labelled as not being 'neighbourly'.

I won't be going 😂 I'll have to hide in the house, or go out for a long drive and a walk 😂

BeeLelEyePeePeeEye · 21/05/2022 08:53

I used to live in a house share where one of the blokes would create a similar level of carnage at parties he'd throw. Every time he planned one I'd leave for the weekend and get the highlights from the police visits, pissed off LL and fuming neighbors over the following week.

It's not fun. Thankfully the street I now live on is wonderfully quietly antisocial and apart from a few beers over a BBQ there will be no big celebrations.

Original poster
PartyHater · 21/05/2022 08:53

@Oblomov22 yes I am trying to move.

I’ve worked since I left school, but had no qualifications, so worked mainly in caring jobs. They are emotionally rewarding but very badly paid. I worked hard and managed to get a mortgage, but just could not afford a house in a better area. I bought one that needed a lot of work doing so was very cheap.

I’m hoping that when I finish my degree I can get a much better paying job. It has already meant that I could get one more relevant to the area I want to enter in to and is slightly better paid. Then I can use the money from the sale of this house for a good deposit.

I’m sure lots of hard working people find themselves in the same situation. There are some decent people on my street, the area just gets completely ruined by the very disruptive ones.

OP posts:
Hoolahulahoop · 21/05/2022 08:56

Tell your mother less. That is my advice. I tell mine very little these days.

GettingStuffed · 21/05/2022 08:57

Our street is having a party, no doubt there will be good and drink, there are only a few young kids so I expect lots of drink. However I will be in Devon in a town that doesn't seem to be bothered. Another republican

pinata · 21/05/2022 08:59

I’ve lived in some fairly grim places - the kinds that make all the “most deprived” lists - but actually the people living there were overwhelmingly nice, good people, trying to get somewhere in life. Local get togethers were a way of building community. Maybe if you went, you’d actually be less worried? In my experience, that kind of area was much friendlier than the very middle class area I’m in now

GreenClock · 21/05/2022 09:00

I am a republication so Yanbu on that basis alone!

kayslyre · 21/05/2022 09:01

My only excuse for not attending would be that I'm a republican. There isn't one happening here but I would definitely not be going - I'm not remotely interested.

zingally · 21/05/2022 09:01

I'd get out for the day/night as well!

In my previous house I used to go away to a hotel for halloween night. I'm quite fearful of halloween and especially trick or treating, which stems from childhood. Random strangers banging on the door, in the dark, and my normally very placid parents screaming "GO AWAY!" at the top of their lungs. I hated it.

I don't need to do that any more as I live in flats and no one can get in.

But yeah, if you need to just "be away" for the sake of your mental health, I say go for it. As one of my favourite sayings goes, "sometimes the cheapest way to solve a problem is with money." And if £200 gets you a lovely day/night with your family, without upsetting your DS, I say do it!

FrecklesMalone · 21/05/2022 09:05

I'm running away from all the sycophant bullshit. It makes me feel ill.

My street luckily feels the same. My area is quite rough but not as rough as yours but that would not be what put me off.

AngelinaFibres · 21/05/2022 09:06

PartyHater · 21/05/2022 08:53

@Oblomov22 yes I am trying to move.

I’ve worked since I left school, but had no qualifications, so worked mainly in caring jobs. They are emotionally rewarding but very badly paid. I worked hard and managed to get a mortgage, but just could not afford a house in a better area. I bought one that needed a lot of work doing so was very cheap.

I’m hoping that when I finish my degree I can get a much better paying job. It has already meant that I could get one more relevant to the area I want to enter in to and is slightly better paid. Then I can use the money from the sale of this house for a good deposit.

I’m sure lots of hard working people find themselves in the same situation. There are some decent people on my street, the area just gets completely ruined by the very disruptive ones.

You sound absolutely brilliant Op. Enjoy your day.

userxx · 21/05/2022 09:07

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 08:36

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

Would have thought that was pretty obvious to be honest. I don't think there's many people who live in a rough arse area out of choice.

ChaToilLeam · 21/05/2022 09:08

YANBU. Enjoy your night away. Nothing would persuade me to join a jubilee street party anyway, but having lived somewhere a bit like you describe, because it’s all we could afford, I’d head for the hills too.

nearlyspringyay · 21/05/2022 09:09

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 08:36

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

Surely you realise that'a not always possible for a myriad of reasons?

newnamethanks · 21/05/2022 09:11

Go for it PartyHater, some of the best teachers I know went to sink schools, were expected to underachieve and left school early. Took until their early twenties to realise there could be more to life, they weren't thick, got a degree and forward from there. Like you will. Enjoy your weekend away.

WorkEvent · 21/05/2022 09:13

YANBU. Just having a child with ASD who isn’t going to cope if more than enough of an excuse.

We live in a ‘nice’ area but are the poor people in the village 😂 I’m working and DH will probably refuse to take the kids to the fete at the cricket field because it’s his idea of hell!

Hallyup89 · 21/05/2022 09:13

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 08:36

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

How the bloody heck is this post helpful in the slightest?! Talk about living on another planet....

Member869894 · 21/05/2022 09:14

I would go. You're living there after all and may meet people like you there or find out you have something in common with the people you are judging. Just say no to the drugs if they are offered😁

LuckySantangelo35 · 21/05/2022 09:14

Oblomov22 · 21/05/2022 08:36

Why do you live in such an awful place? Have you tried to move? OP and all the others who choose to live in such awful places? Surely you'd do Everything in your power to move as quickly as possible?

@Oblomov22

youve heard of money right?

Sae123 · 21/05/2022 09:15

Run to the forest!

I'm running from all the bunting too.

Have a good time 😊

kayslyre · 21/05/2022 09:16

Forgot to say yabu not about not attending the jubilee party (I can't believe how many are still interested in celebrating the royal family) but your reasons for not doing so make it unreasonable as you'd attend a jubilee party in a better area?

kayslyre · 21/05/2022 09:19

Amendment (why can't we edit our posts!) Yanbu for not attending

emuloc · 21/05/2022 09:23

newnamethanks · 21/05/2022 08:32

YANBU. Sounds awful. Stick to your studies and get out as soon as you can, nobody should have to live in an area like that unless it's an active choice. Good luck.

I highly doubt people choose to live in undesirable area's for the sake of it.

Traceyfudge77 · 21/05/2022 09:23

@PartyHater
In my experience living in a shitty area is the best way of staying focussed on, and thereby achieving, your goals.

Probably best to keep your plans to yourself when they are not applauded by others.

You will get there, and when you do it will give you pleasure every day.

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