Never to speak to this man again because my partner doesn’t want me too?

[PinkBump2022]

I have a child with sever autism. He’s soon to be moving schools. A the school we are in I have began chatting to a dad who is there daily, he has a child in my sons class and we got chatting as he noticed my son had autism and said his other son does. We got talking about that. Turns out our children will be attending the same school. So we have became kind of friends just to chat to in the school yard while waiting for the kids to come out. My partner knows this man from his work. Hes told me he doesn’t want me to speak to him ever again. Iv asked why?? We are chatting in the school yard about our kids!! He doesn’t care and thinks it’s going to turn into meeting up for sex and affairs and who knows what else! Iv never been unfaithful but for some unknown reason my partner is insecure because I’m younger I think is the reason.
so Iv said no! I will still chat to this man about our children and it would go no further than that! Now he’s not happy with me that I won’t just blank this man for the rest of my life.
what do I do?

Leave your 'partner'

Carry on chatting to the man in the playground about your shared interest in autistic children and tell your husband that you have no interest in the chap other than the autism link and will it tolerate a slur against your character when he accuses you of anything untoward.

Jealous behaviour like that is immature.

Does he know something about your partner that he doesn't want you to know?

Extreme jealousy is a massive red flag. He's already trying to control you. This will get worse. I think you should split up. Quickly. Will save you a load of grief down the line.

Leave your partner

From the sounds of it I think your husbands little delusion might turn out to be a good thing if it actually did happen. Is he controlling and abusive in other ways?

Either your partner needs to deal with his issues, or you need to leave him. He's a horrible arsehole.

Yes agree dh has a secret

Of course continue to talk to him. And tell your husband that a) he doesn't get to control who you talk to and that b) you're hugely offended that he thinks you can't be trusted. And that if he continues to act this way, he will be putting your relationship at risk.

That’s a huge leap from chatting at the school gate to a full on affair!
Either he’s very immature to be so jealous, very controlling to choose who you do and don’t speak to or does this dad know something about your OH and he’s scared you’ll find out.

Probably projection. Is your dh thinking about/actually having an affair, is where I'd be going with my thoughts. Was he unfaithful in previous relationships?

Yeah, that's a whole string of red flags there. He doesn't decide who you talk to. Tell him he either gets over it or he gets out.

My friend's relationship was like this. Started with accusations of indefinitely and orders not to talk to certain men.

Ended up her not being able to leave the house without him, nor be allowed in a different room to him, nor shower with the door open... I could go on.

*infidelity

My ex was like this. I have a good male friend that I talk to daily, I knew him almost as long as my ex, it cause so many issues. I refused to stop talking to him and it's one of the million things that pushed our relationship to end. I dont think anyone should be able to dictate who you should talk to as long as it's on the up and up.

Yep, I would think this too!

Your husband is projecting or he suffers from morbid jealousy

Neither of which bodes well

The problem is your partner.

There is nothing wrong with chatting to another school parent, particularly when you have something in common such as children with ASD.

My DD has ASD and sharing experiences and talking to others in the same situation is absolutely invaluable - you know that I'm sure.

If your partner has a problem with this then the issue is all his. You need to put a stop to him trying to control you. It's not a good situation or a healthy relationship.

You dump your abusive partner, that's what you do. Come on now, you know this is not normal and totally unacceptable. Get rid.

Carry on as you are. If your partner doesn’t like it he knows where the door is doesn’t he?

Your partner is abusive and controlling

This man might be making comments to him at work about how he chats with you and its making him paranoid plus he might not be happy with you discussing your child with him. Also if this man is single as he may see him as a threat. But he can't tell you to stop talking to him why don't you take your husband one day to school and he can see for him self .

I broke up with someone who tried to control who I spoke to. Absolutely out of order.

Mumsnet is not a hivemind. I don't care who my husband talks to and I would never expect him to stop.