to think kids are more immature since lockdown

[mummyofthreeplus]

Seeing my DS (13 and in year 9) and the way him and his friends act it seems more like the way my older dc would have acted I’m year 7 or even 6. I have a friend who is a teacher and she says far more behavioural issues and friendship problems that pre covid and even in sixth form far more issues with not doing work and poor attendance. Has anyone else noticed this that it seems like kids are now a lot “younger” for their age since covid?

They've got 2 years of catching up to do socially and academically and have also all lived through a massive societal trauma. If they hadn't regressed a bit through all that then it wouldn't be surprising. Some kids were more protected from the impact of the pandemic, but the strain on families in poverty, with other ACE's, the impact of domestic violence Increasing, of drug, alcohol and mental health issues going untreated and un-prioritised, and the failure to properly diagnose or support kids with SEND, will mean there are some kids who struggle to catch up to where they would have been or never will do. Where's kids without those additional needs and challenges living in a better economic position and family environment with more opportunities to bridge that gap and get back on track, they will catch up a lot more easily. That's the problem, not everyone has had the same 2 years. For some of those children this will change the course of their entire life, because the protective impacts of state help and intervention was not there at a crucial time when they needed it. Early interventions in mental health, SEND, family difficulties and social problems are always far more effective than corrective ones later on.

Children had even less chance to interact than adults, there was lots of pressure for just one adult to shop not take children etc.
I was talking to a yr 2 TA who said they’d had to cover Money in detail as they realised the children were clueless but it’s no surprise. Shopping comes online or child didn’t go to shops or if they did it was adult paying on phone/contactless. No pay the man for your comic, put a coin in charity box etc.
Teens especially lost out on normal expanding of horizons.

I mean, I'm not sure there's actually much difference...

@mummyofthreeplus : I could have written this, our DS is the same age and I swear they were better behaved as toddlers. The behaviour is idiotic.

Adults too. I’m seeing so many petty squabbles/ aggressive driving / selfish behaviour. I think a lot of social skills have got rusty and when that’s combined with lower standard of living since pandemic, rising costs, and stress over war in Europe, a lot of people are acting up.

Many, many kids were parked on ipads for hours during the pandemic while their parents had to work from home. It was damaging and the effects are still playing out.

I have reported the duplicated posts - keeps telling me it didn't send but it has!

Yes I think they've basically missed out on 2 years of growing up and doing normal stuff

TBF society across the board doesn't quite seem the same as it did in 2019. Understandable with kids though - if you have a 5 year old they were isolated from many forms of development for 20% of their life. Many teenagers won't yet have gone through small landmarks that they perhaps would have done, first trip out alone to meet friends, joining a sports club/hobby. Lots of y6-y8 kids won't have done their first solo trip to school.

I think the endless amount of pointles youtubers who are in their late teens, early 20s behaving like children with their pointless hide&seek challenges and prank videos has had a huge part to play here too. Especially with lockdown as well where kids were even more glued to screens. If i hear the phrases whats up guys, like subscribe, comment one more time.... 😂

Don't most people feel younger in their head than they are?. Except for young children that are. I am 58 and remember not being able to believe I was more than 18 years old throughout my 20s. In my 30s I felt like I was in my 20s in terms of not deep down believing I was a 'grown-up and I now feel like I am in my 30s or 40s in my head. Certainly not like I am nearly 60!

It is very easy to say that the Covid environment changed many children for the worse. It will undoubtedly have changed many of them but whether it is all bad for all of them is another matter.

Also, most generations of people have something in their lives that affects them deeply, it is very rare across the world that nothing happens in a generation that negatively affects the population. I admit that the post-war years in most Western European countries were generally pretty good, but those are a short and geographically limited exception in the context of all of history

I am not trying to trivialize the negative effect of Covid on a lot of children and young people but I honestly think that dwelling on 'how bad it was and how the lives of young people are 'ruined' does not help anyone.

I would say yes but in a good way. My 12 year old and her class seem like 12 year olds rather than growing up too fast.

Suppose it depends on the age and stage if it is a positive or negative thing.

Things haven’t just snapped back to normal in terms of opportunities for children.
Lots of clubs and activities haven’t restarted. volunteers have stepped down, things closed for financial reasons and places are limited/long wait list eg Brownies.
School trips etc take a lot of planning and are usually arranged a year in advance. Vaccination rules for children abroad and general uncertainty mean things still haven’t restarted.

Agree that dwelling on things is unhelpful. But, recognising and naming a problem is the first step to working towards a solution for it.

Sweeping things under the carpet only for them to rear up years later hidden in maladaptive behaviour like aggression, alcohol and substance abuse etc may be a traditional approach but it's probably not the best.

I work with Y1 and 2. Yes, they are more immature. But it is how this shows that is important. They play as they have always played, it's not in the types of games we see immaturity. It's their dependence on adults.
The number of them that need help with basic tasks like cutting food and zipping clothes has shot up. They also need far more help with navigating friendship issues. I spend a huge amount of time dealing with 'she looked at me and I didn't like it' and 'he doesn't want to play my game' than I used to. They find it hard to sort out disagreements on their own and we hear about Every Single Squabble! We have children in tears with reasons like "She made a loud noise and I don't like it."
And far more tears generally in the morning coming in to school over missing home, missing mum or dad. They just seem more fragile.
But poor little souls, none of our children have yet had a full year in school.
In general, it is this area that is the legacy of lockdown for my class, not academically.

Yes, same here. DC2 was in Y4 when lockdown started. As I was on calls all day when at home (I was in work other days) she had to take more responsibility for her own learning. I think I was slightly tougher than her teacher in terms of not letting her dash something off in 10mins and then doing a fun activity when I knew she could do better (not teacher-bashing - I only had two kids to nag and was desperate to keep her quietly learning while I worked).

Plus there were times when I needed to call into work for a 1-2 hours. She'd be left longer than I'd probably have done if it weren't for lockdown. The 13 yo was in the house but doing her own learning in a different room, so she had to be self motivated and attend to her own needs for those periods.

She's maintained the habit of putting more effort into her work which has been great.

Exactly this. Ignoring it is just storing up problems for the future.
I have one in year 3 and one in year 2. Both their teachers have said that they’re having far more friendship issues than usual. So many children spent so much time alone that they’ve missed a crucial step in learning how to develop friendships and deal with conflict. They’re having to run special ‘friendship classes’ to help the children learn how to deal with issues that arise. The children are far more fragile emotionally.

I'm not sure "immature" is quite the right word. I certainly have noticed that my daughter (Y6) has struggled emotionally with things in a way I wouldn't necessarily have predicted. Her confidence was much lower after lockdown in a number of ways and it has affected the way she relates to her friendship groups etc.

You say it like the “immaturity” is a bad thing op? It really isn’t.

Depends how immaturity shows. Eg immaturity in terms of navigating traffic is potentially a huge concern. Studies used to show children up to age 10 ish couldn’t judge speed of traffic safely. If that age is now 12 then it has huge implications as we expect secondary age to get to and from school alone.

It depends on how the immaturity is manifesting though, doesn’t it?
Still playing with dolls etc at an older age than ‘usual’, fine. Unable to deal with emotions, unable to carry out age appropriate tasks/self care etc… more of a problem.