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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nightmare work colleague - thinking of resigning but like my job!

98 replies

ItsNotCricket · 19/05/2022 19:27

First job in 10 years after raising DC. Thought I’d hit the jackpot - wfh, decent pay, part time flexible hours, interesting content and challenging enough not to be boring, and lovely similar age to myself ladies as managers and colleagues.

My close colleague, let’s call her Sue, and I do the same job. She’s full time, I’m part time and we share the work between us.

I kind of got a ‘ffs really’ impression of Sue as soon as I met her but put it to one side as first impressions are not always correct.

Within a few days, Sue dropped into conversation that her best friend had applied for my job but didn’t get it and she’s not sure why. That rather took me aback and I got the idea that Sue would rather her friend have got it. It was not really necessary to say and put me on edge.

She started 6 months earlier than me but still needed a lot of training. I picked stuff up pretty quickly (not boasting honestly!) so was given harder and more complicated tasks to complete therefore making my work load quite heavy, As a part timer. it really should be the other way round no?

I didn’t mind going over my hours at the start as thought I’m still learning, it’ll get less as I am quicker.

Sue started a habit of calling me at my finish time to talk (she likes to talk) so making me finish even later. She has also started trying to pass stuff onto me that she should be doing herself. I notice lots of mistakes in her work which I correct without comment.

I also notice that she seems to do hardly any work and I’m doing much more than her despite doing a third less hours. It’s really starting to get me down now.

On group calls, she’ll have her dogs barking or having diarrhoea and will leave the call or doesn’t shut up and we’re stuck on it for ages. She’s constantly complaining the work is too hard so thereby prompting me say I’ll take over etc.

She has asked me to change my day off as she thinks it better I take a different day off. It was agreed before I started and I want to change it but she’s constantly bringing it up.

The last straw for me is that we’ve been told we’re moving to hybrid working later this year. 2 days in the office. Sue does not drive so has made a big thing about having to get a bus and how long it’ll take her. She asked me if I’d pick her up and take her with me. I wasn’t prepared for it so just said ‘umm right’. It’s not the kind of thing I’d ever ask, I’d wait for an offer. I don’t want to give her a bloody lift as can’t stand her even though she is happy to pay for petrol, not that I’d take any money as I’m going anyway. She also uses her not driving as an excuse for me to go into the office and do the post!

I’m actually thinking of leaving due to not wanting to work with her. All my other colleagues are lovely, work hard and are super helpful. I can’t believe my shit luck that I’ve got her to work with!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Fortboyard · 20/05/2022 06:28

Sorry, that post was meant to be a new thread. Have asked for it to be deleted.

Cliftontherocks · 20/05/2022 06:48

SpeedofaSloth · 19/05/2022 19:30

  1. Don't do her work for her
  2. "Actually Sue I'm just finishing work now, let's talk tomorrow instead"
  3. Don't change your day off
  4. How do you get on with your line manager - can you raise it with them?

This and notify her each time you correct her work - copy your LM in.

if her dogs are barking - say this is a work call can you put the dogs outside please - let’s focus on the work meeting.

send an email further to your request that I change my work day - my day was checked and agreed with my line manager and management before starting - it is Thursday… please note this is my day off. This has been agreed as it suits us as a family.

regarding to your request for a lift when we return to the office this won’t be possible as I have my own errands / hobbies before and after work and I won’t be able accommodate your request.

no is a sentence

Bluetrews25 · 20/05/2022 06:49

If she brings you a problem - stuck with this piece of work/deadline, how am I going to get to work etc, just say 'ooh, what are you going to do?' Turn it back on her to problem solve.
And the lift thing? 'Ah, no, I can't do that'

maeveiscurious · 20/05/2022 06:54

Ask for an appraisal be factual and keep a record of performance.

I would be asking for a senior role to supervise her work.

Do not get into lifts or hanging your day off. It's just a "no"

Luculentus · 20/05/2022 07:00

She’s constantly complaining the work is too hard so thereby prompting me say I’ll take over etc.

So from now on say "Oh dear, you'd better talk to XYZ (line manager) about it." With any luck it will get through to them how useless she is.

And point out to your manager how she has a lower workload than you and ask for that to be readjusted.

FlyMeToTheMoonandMars · 20/05/2022 07:08

Get your line manager involved. I'm in a similar position and got a job 2 years ago - the lady who had the job previously is still there and the other applicant (for my job) is still there! They are very close in and out of work and both witch hunt me to get me to leave. I got the job fair and square - more experience (years extra) and had the right degree etc. It's horrid.

FlyMeToTheMoonandMars · 20/05/2022 07:08

The other applicant was an internal candidate. I was an external candidate.

Ihearticecream · 20/05/2022 07:17

OP I think it’s better to look at it this way - What advice would you give to your DC if they came to you with this problem?

LemonDrizzles · 20/05/2022 07:17

"She's constantly complaining her work is too hard prompting me to take do it for her"
My response
"Sounds hard, I'm sure you'll find a way to do it"

LemonDrizzles · 20/05/2022 07:22

Also how does correcting her work happen. Are you letting her know and she makes the same mistake again?
If she never knows, she'll never learn.
Let her know once. After that, there's only so much you can do

underneaththeash · 20/05/2022 07:24

Start with the lift thing - she might even resign if she can't get into the office and text her, rather than face to face.

Sue, on reflection, I'm not going to be able to give you a lift in. It's going to be too tight either side as it is getting home on time.

The other things, change slowly rather than suddenly. Pre-empt the end of day chat and do it earlier, offer to show her how to do things rather than doing it for her.

You have my sympathies - I've worked over the years with optometrists who were either incompetent, slow or lazy and it is very frustrating.

MargotMoon · 20/05/2022 07:34

Message to Sue: "I've just remembered that you asked me to think about giving you a lift when we go back to the office. Unfortunately I won't be able to do that so thought I'd better let you know now so you have plenty of time to make your own travel arrangements."

MargotMoon · 20/05/2022 07:36

(Ideally send this to her when you are off work and won't be in for a few days so if she replies you can ignore it on the basis that you are too busy to reply to work colleagues when you aren't in work)

SheWoreYellow · 20/05/2022 07:38

It sounds like you’re covering for her inadequacies. If you keep doing that your manager will never be aware of her true performance. Or of yours. You need to talk to your manager. They are probably fully aware.

balalake · 20/05/2022 07:42

I think you need to involve your line manager. This seems bitterness over someone else not getting your job to an unreasonable level.

The alternative would be to make the lift conditional on all the bad things coming to an end very quickly, spelt out, and with say one week to change, and if there is the slightest fallback, the lift offer is withdrawn 100% no exceptions.

Bretonbear · 20/05/2022 07:42

In the nicest possible way, you are being a doormat and being walked all over. YOU need to stop this.

NeededAction · 20/05/2022 07:44

I’d recommend talking to your line manager if the balance of work has tipped so much that you as the part timer are doing more than the full timer. When your colleague is complaining it’s too much work, or too difficult really fight the urge to offer to do it!! (I know this is really tricky, and something I do too, as I’d rather the job gets done, and gets done properly if it’s going to impact me, than hear someone else flapping over it and feckin it up).

i’d also message your colleague re the lift - @MargotMoon has given you a brilliant template there

DON’T give up your job, and all its perks, just because Sue is a bit of a bellend. There’s a ‘sue’ in most workplaces!

SheWoreYellow · 20/05/2022 07:45

SheWoreYellow · 20/05/2022 07:38

It sounds like you’re covering for her inadequacies. If you keep doing that your manager will never be aware of her true performance. Or of yours. You need to talk to your manager. They are probably fully aware.

I mean they probably know what she’s like from before you started. So it won’t be a big shock. They’re probably thinking she’s improved but you need to point out that you’re helping her.

DeskInUse · 20/05/2022 07:52

You're not much more of a newbie than she is, bring it up with your line manager, if she's got dogs barking, having to leave calls and talking all the time chances are your manager has either noticed it or has already been told

Don't change your day off
Don't answer the phone to her when it's close to your finishing time
Don't give her a lift to work

Charley50 · 20/05/2022 08:12

You've had really good advice on here. Can't believe she thinks you should give her a lift to work. I don't own a car and never ask for lifts. It's so cheeky. Does she live right next door to you or something? Then I would understand it. I find it a really odd request.

PurassicJark · 20/05/2022 08:27
  1. Stop taking on work for her. When she whines, say yeah I know, I'm so busy too.
  1. If she calls as you are finishing, just ignore it. Claim you never saw if she asks and must have logged off. Remind her of your working times and that she should call earlier if confused.
  1. If she brings up the car sharing thing again, laugh and say oh I thought you were joking on that, won't work for me I'm afraid, I have places to be before and after work. Say no more.
  1. Stop correcting her work if you don't want to. Let her get caught out that she's crap.
Redburnett · 20/05/2022 08:30

Learn assertiveness skills and start saying no!

Lazerbeen · 20/05/2022 08:34

Most jobs have a sue, it would be far better to work on your own boundaries and assertiveness as others have said- its a useful skill and doesn't mean being rude or whatever.

ladymalfoy45 · 20/05/2022 08:45

E -Mail your line-manager to inform them that Sue has approached you about travel arrangements.
Make it clear you have refused.
She could use you as an excuse to be late.

LookItsMeAgain · 20/05/2022 09:06

A suggestion - if you are both carrying out the same work, and you are expected to both be in the office two days per week, I would approach the manager and suggest that if you worked Monday & Wednesdays in the office and Sue worked Tuesday & Thursdays, then the office would be manned 4 days per week rather than the two if you are in the office on the same days per week.

You will arrange some sort of a handover document that you will both use that will list any work that the other needs to follow up on on the Friday when neither is in the office, then you never have to give her a lift and it's not a factor going forwards.

Other suggestions -
Schedule time in your calendar for a wrap-up (say last 15 minutes) and don't answer the phone to her when you're doing your wrap-up for the day
As the others have posted, don't change your day off.
Don't give in to her, she will either sweet talk her way to getting what she wants or she will bully her way to the same. Time to beat her at her own game!
Use this as a challenging exercise on dealing with a difficult staff member (if you can) and try to find some way to improve the situation for as long as you decide to work there.