Cheeky Fucker - Group Gift

[TulaOfDarkWater]

Friendship group of six. One member has a birthday coming up & the other five people decided to get together & buy her a big ticket item.

Site A sells the item for £500 so £100 per person, everyone agreed & was happy with this.

Site B has a deluxe version for £700 so £140 per person, everyone agreed this was out of budget & unanimously decided to go with the £500 option from site A.

Just before the item could be purchased, a member of the group, let’s call her Anne, said she had a 20% off voucher for site B which was due to expire soon & it would be silly to waste it so how about we use it to buy the deluxe version & pay a little extra as birthday girl has had a shitty time of it lately etc.

In the group chat, we discussed:

£700 - 20% = £560

£560 / 5 = £112 per person

Anne thumbs up emoji liked this message!

Everyone agreed they could stretch to the £12 extra & it was decided that we would buy the deluxe item from Site B. The ONLY reason we agreed to this was due to the discount voucher, everyone was happy to purchase from site A otherwise.

Anne purchased the item using the voucher & sent everyone her bank details asking for £140. When this was queried, Anne said the 20% voucher represented her 1/5 contribution & so everyone else owes £140.

1. Anne knows the reason the £700 option was vetoed in the first place was because everyone - including Anne - agreed £140 was out of budget

1. At no time did Anne say the 20% voucher was her contribution & the rest of us had to pay full price. Another member of the group had the exact same voucher & we could have used hers if we had known

1. There are text messages where the group discussed the maths & agreed to £12 extra each & Anne did not dispute this & in fact thumbs up emoji’d it. Her excuse for this is she didn’t read the messages properly, the thumbs up was a mistake / she didn’t do it deliberately / know it was there & she is bad at maths anyway so tuned out!

So am I being unreasonable to think Anne is a cheeky fucker & deliberately mislead us? If we had stuck to the original plan then Anne would have had to pay £100 but this way she pays nothing & the rest of us an extra £40!!

Just to be clear, this voucher was one of those promotional email ones that are sent to those on the company’s mailing list, it wasn’t a voucher that had any monetary value or was a gift to her which would be different & like I said, another member had the exact same voucher which she was happy for us to use instead if we had known this is what Anne was doing.

Good grief, Anne is a cheeky devil. It’s so cheeky that it’s actually embarrassing for her. Transfer the amount you agreed. Five of you unanimously agree that Anne failed to be clear she was stitching you all up. Only Anne feels she should pay bugger all. Anne is outvoted. 99% of Mumsnet agrees and the 1% that seemingly doesn’t probably just pressed the wrong voting button.

Tell Anne she can return the coffee machine. You are not paying £140

Use the other friend's voucher.

Everyone pay non-CF £112 and Anne can pay the full £240 as the CF. You go for coffee using Anne's extra.

Thing is you really should address it with Anne, as the more she gets away with it the more entitled she'll feel. Pull her up on it and she just might realise it's better not to be an arsehole

Do you trust Anne not to take your £112s, return it, then buy the item from site A because you didn't give her the 'full amount' she demanded and keep the bonus? Or worse, return it and then not refund you the amount you all gave her so you're stuck with no money and no gift?

If it were me, I wouldn't pay her anything unless that coffee machine could be transferred to someone else in the group on the excuse that they will do the giftwrap and card. Only once it's safely in someone else's hands so it can't be returned would I pay her the £112.

If that can't be done, then tell her to return it and stick with the original plan and don't lose any more sleep over it.

If you all pay £112 is there any guarantee Anne will actually hand the coffee machine over, or will she keep it until she gets the money she thinks she deserves?

I’d use the other friend’s voucher and split the cost between the rest of you, cutting Anne out, to ensure you actually get the gift. Anne can organise a refund.

Tell her to return the item. Freeloading bitch.

I would send Anne something like this:

Hi Anne

We are all a bit shocked that you thought it would be okay to retract your share of the gift via your voucher and instead expect us to subsidise the more expensive version of the gift. This is not what anyone agreed to, and protesting your innocence doesn't change the fact that a) noone believes you didn't understand the arrangement and b) what you have done is an unbelievable piss take.

Collectively we have agreed to contribute £112 as agreed and we expect you to contribute your share equally.

If this doesn't work for you - please arrange a refund and we will revert to the basic model at a price we can all afford.

This has left a bitter taste in a lot of mouths, but for Birthday Girl's sake, please put things right and hopefully we can move on from this.

Tula

There's always an Anne!

Anne with an E has blown it.

There's no going back with this one.

How will she redeem herself ?

@TulaOfDarkWater i would like to applaud you for the excellently emphasised and comprehensive OP. 10/10 please post again.

@ImBurtMacklin I thought the f that Anne discounted 20% from her share of £112!!

That's wjat I would do if Anne didn't back down. She sounds like someone I knew a few years back, when we were shopping together and we bought a BOGOFF, she insisted that the free one was for her!

Yes, £112 or say cancel that order and you all go with the original option

@SlightlyJaded Anne is really not worth the time an energy it would take to get 4 people on board writing a group letter like that. If she really is a CFer feigning ignorance, you're not going to induce shame in her either.

Just: "well that's not we had agreed to, so I guess you had better return it. Everyone in for £100 from site A?" and arrange for a not-Anne to buy from site A.

@TulaOfDarkWater OP be prepared: you may have to contend with the possibility that Anne will refuse to pay a £100 share from site A with the excuse that she's waiting on the refund. You may have to come up with another gift split between 4.

Say you will be buying your own present.
So nil contribution.
Let her suck test up.

*that

Send her £112 and 'like' her message about sending £140.. if she queries say sorry you didn't read the messages properly (e.g use her excuse)

You do realise, don't you @TulaOfDarkWater that you have to come back to update us?

I was thinking the same, so perfectly explained 👌

If it were me I think I would just pay £112 and say that’s all I can afford as agreed and be done with it. How the others in the group choose to deal with it and how much they pay wouldn’t concern me.

@TulaOfDarkWater I am absolutely disgusted that there is a split between the other 4 friends on how to deal with this! Can't believe one person is willing to pay the difference just so the rest pay £112 and Anne doesn't pay anything!

Please let us know what was decided but for the sake of humanity and the prevailing of decency I really hope you all stick to the £112 including Anne.

I can't believe how low some people are.

The simplist thing would be to ask her to return it, and one of you orders from site A. Give her a chance to contribute a fixed amount, if she wants to.

Easiest way to draw a line under this would be to return and buy from site A. If you let one friend make up the difference you'll end up both angry (with Anne) and likely guilty/frustrated with the well meaning friend.

Anne's stupidity and inability to get basic maths is what outed her plan. She clearly thought the 20% discount would cover her share of 1/5.

I’d be sending the £112 and seriously rethinking my friendship with Tighter Than A Duck’s Arse Anne.

Thank you for all the posts, I wasn’t expecting so many!

We are all massively pissed off but also conscious of birthday girl’s health condition & the treatment she is undergoing so we don’t want to do anything that might exacerbate the situation & cause more bad feeling (in case she picks up on the atmosphere).

We’ve decided to sleep on it & then regroup tomorrow to decide what to do. I’ll definitely update as so many of you have been kind enough to reply but it might not be too interesting as we’re going to try & diffuse the situation (but still hold firm).

Tight as a gnats arse as my old man used to say.
Jesus, she should be embarrassed.