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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cheeky Fucker - Group Gift

704 replies

TulaOfDarkWater · 19/05/2022 18:06

Friendship group of six. One member has a birthday coming up & the other five people decided to get together & buy her a big ticket item.

Site A sells the item for £500 so £100 per person, everyone agreed & was happy with this.

Site B has a deluxe version for £700 so £140 per person, everyone agreed this was out of budget & unanimously decided to go with the £500 option from site A.

Just before the item could be purchased, a member of the group, let’s call her Anne, said she had a 20% off voucher for site B which was due to expire soon & it would be silly to waste it so how about we use it to buy the deluxe version & pay a little extra as birthday girl has had a shitty time of it lately etc.

In the group chat, we discussed:

£700 - 20% = £560

£560 / 5 = £112 per person

Anne thumbs up emoji liked this message!

Everyone agreed they could stretch to the £12 extra & it was decided that we would buy the deluxe item from Site B. The ONLY reason we agreed to this was due to the discount voucher, everyone was happy to purchase from site A otherwise.

Anne purchased the item using the voucher & sent everyone her bank details asking for £140. When this was queried, Anne said the 20% voucher represented her 1/5 contribution & so everyone else owes £140.

  1. Anne knows the reason the £700 option was vetoed in the first place was because everyone - including Anne - agreed £140 was out of budget
  1. At no time did Anne say the 20% voucher was her contribution & the rest of us had to pay full price. Another member of the group had the exact same voucher & we could have used hers if we had known
  1. There are text messages where the group discussed the maths & agreed to £12 extra each & Anne did not dispute this & in fact thumbs up emoji’d it. Her excuse for this is she didn’t read the messages properly, the thumbs up was a mistake / she didn’t do it deliberately / know it was there & she is bad at maths anyway so tuned out!

So am I being unreasonable to think Anne is a cheeky fucker & deliberately mislead us? If we had stuck to the original plan then Anne would have had to pay £100 but this way she pays nothing & the rest of us an extra £40!!

Just to be clear, this voucher was one of those promotional email ones that are sent to those on the company’s mailing list, it wasn’t a voucher that had any monetary value or was a gift to her which would be different & like I said, another member had the exact same voucher which she was happy for us to use instead if we had known this is what Anne was doing.

OP posts:
AnneDeluxe · 19/05/2022 20:20

HansHoblein · 19/05/2022 20:19

@Herejustforthisone maybe like @AnneDeluxe you should name change for this thread? May I suggest Regina George?

Now now Hans. Why can't we all just eat rainbow cakes full of smiles and be happy?

maeveiscurious · 19/05/2022 20:21

TulaOfDarkWater · 19/05/2022 20:15

Wow thanks for all the responses, I really appreciate it!

To answer some questions:

• We have all known each other since we were teens & while Anne has always had some CF tendencies it was all low level & never to this extent which is why I’m absolutely gobsmacked. This is going to sound strange but the richer Anne has got, the more tight / cheeky fucker like she has become, I know it makes no sense whatsoever but that’s honestly what has happened.

• There’s a divide in the group:

  • 1 person says to return for a refund

  • 1 person says pay £112 & no more

  • 1 person says pay £140 to keep the peace

  • 1 person says they will pay the extra on top of own their share so the others still pay £112 as originally agreed (but then Anne gets away with it)

We have agreed to come to a consensus though & all do the same thing.

• The group chat (set up specifically about the gift) has gone silent but Anne is trying to engage us as if nothings happened in the regular group chat with the birthday girl, like deliberately asking each of us questions etc. We don’t want birthday girl to know so we have to respond but obviously not as enthusiastically as before

• Yes it’s a coffee machine

• We normally spent £50 on a gift but then another £50 on dinner / drinks but the birthday girl is currently undergoing treatment for a medical condition so theres no night out this year. We thought we’d club together the usual £100 we would spend anyway & get something we know she would love but never buy herself

• Yes I am rethinking the friendship with Anne, I have always excused past CF tendencies as oversights / forgetfulness or misunderstandings but I think this clarifies in my mind that actually there’s a deliberateness about it. I’ve noticed her play dumb / feign ignorance a few times (when I know for a fact she understands the situation ) but I’m starting to think she does this more often than I realised.

This is not the action of a friend. Looks like the friendship has run its course. Send £112 and that be it

Herejustforthisone · 19/05/2022 20:21

AnneDeluxe · 19/05/2022 20:18

You're quite amusing, really Hans.

@Herejustforthisone come and join me in naughty corner. I've got 140 pound times four to spend on biscuits.

Show quote history

I’d better had. I’ve got Naked Wine ‘vouchers’ and a mob mentality.

PriestessofPing · 19/05/2022 20:21

God do not let anyone pay Anne’s share just to keep the peace. This will keep happening of you all give in to her - and remember she’s got no
problem with screwing you all so why should you keep the peace when it’s her bad behaviour?

AnneDeluxe · 19/05/2022 20:22

Herejustforthisone · 19/05/2022 20:21

I’d better had. I’ve got Naked Wine ‘vouchers’ and a mob mentality.

Show quote history

You just pipe down Regina.

I'm trying to count the individual coffee beans so that I can make sure I wasn't short changed.

HansHoblein · 19/05/2022 20:25

@Herejustforthisone @AnneDeluxe I've enjoyed sparing with you! Have a lovely evening. Genuinely.

OP, pay £112, insist the others do the same. Make sure bday girl gets her gift. Cut Anne out. What a mean spirted person.

WeeM · 19/05/2022 20:26

Send her nothing, get other friend to reorder with her voucher code. She will be forced to return it and pay up cos I doubt she’s gonna want to be out of pocket by £560….CF

AnneDeluxe · 19/05/2022 20:27

HansHoblein · 19/05/2022 20:25

@Herejustforthisone @AnneDeluxe I've enjoyed sparing with you! Have a lovely evening. Genuinely.

OP, pay £112, insist the others do the same. Make sure bday girl gets her gift. Cut Anne out. What a mean spirted person.

You've not been too bad yourself, young Hans.

I think I might need some new friends soon, will we go on a wee evening out? If you buy me a car I'll take you.

jimboandthejetset · 19/05/2022 20:27

Complete CF! DO NOT back down, OP. Make sure Anne gets £112 from everyone and no more.

I'm so cross on your behalf Angry

Lolllllllllllll · 19/05/2022 20:27

This sounds too silly to be true.
OP are you sure Anne and maybe some of the others aren't joshing you?
It just doesn't ring true tbh.
Sometimes people start getting irate and invested before thinking about things logically.

Does Anne and the others know you use Mumsnet ?
Perhaps they are tricking you to get a Daily Mail article out of this?
Fair play to them if that's what they are doing 😅

AnneDeluxe · 19/05/2022 20:27

Anne is an arsehole for pulling this when the bday girl is going through what she is.

ArrivederciCarbs · 19/05/2022 20:30

OP I'm fucking fuming with Anne on your behalf!

Headabovetheparakeet · 19/05/2022 20:32

LadyOfTheCanyon · 19/05/2022 20:15

I'd like to say you should send the following:
"Do I look like a cunt, Anne? No? So why you trying to fuck me like one?"

And then block and delete.

In reality I'd send her the £112 and bitch about her like a madwoman to whoever would listen.

Agree with all of this.

Need2P · 19/05/2022 20:34

Return and go for option A

Backtoblack1 · 19/05/2022 20:35

Omg - cheeky AF. Send her £112 as agreed and not a penny more! This is very selfish of her.

RandomMess · 19/05/2022 20:37

Don't let the group cave.

Honestly I would copy and paste the group chat where it states £112 each and she does a thumbs up.

lioncitygirl · 19/05/2022 20:46

Pay the £112! God Anne sounds like a right bellend.

KyaClark · 19/05/2022 20:47

I'd send £112 purely because it'll piss her off.

OR I'd send it back for a refund, buy it with the other person's voucher, tell Anne she owes £140 and everyone else pays £105.

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 19/05/2022 20:47

Refund or just £112.

outrageous

ImBurtMacklin · 19/05/2022 20:51

watchingrnfire · 19/05/2022 20:17

Just realised Anne hasn't contributed anything financially OMG cheeky git!! You must call her out on this. This is hugely unfair

WTF did you think the post was about?!

cakewench · 19/05/2022 20:52

Astounding CFery here on Anne's part!

Definitely return or only pay £112. I would not even consider paying more. I'd be happy to be the awkward one who quotes all the old texts where everyone states that they'd be happy with paying £112, etc. "Anne, here is where we all agreed to pay £112. We agreed to this because on xyz date here, we said £140 was too much. £140 is still too much; that hasn't changed because there's a voucher involved. I can pay £112, if you're expecting more than that, I suggest returning the item and we will go back to the original £100 gift."

And absolutely jettison this 'friend.'

ivfbabymomma1 · 19/05/2022 20:52

That is outrageous behaviour from Anne!!! Send her £112 and be done with any further discussion

TurquoiseSwirl · 19/05/2022 20:54

Wow, that is beyond.
agree to either get a refund or just send the £112 and then never speak to her again. Make another group to talk about it without her, do not let the other person pay the excess for you all unless you send the present from all 4 of you only. Especially as it is a voucher anyone can have!

GoodThinkingMax · 19/05/2022 20:56

So am I being unreasonable to think Anne is a cheeky fucker & deliberately mislead us? If we had stuck to the original plan then Anne would have had to pay £100 but this way she pays nothing & the rest of us an extra £40!!

When I read stories like this, I just wonder why people are so prepared to jettison friendships for a hundred quid or so.

I know it's a lot of money, but is it worth losing friends over? What is going through "Anne's" head - does she not think about the human emotional consequences?

Or you could all give her meaningless discount vouchers for her birthday ...

Livercool · 19/05/2022 20:57

I'd be saying 'I'm not paying £140 whilst you are paying £0. We wanted to pay £100 for the other item. You convinced us to spend £112. Now that has changed to £140. You should see if you can return your item or pay for it all yourself. I'm going to order something else for £100 each for anyone who wants to be part of my gift.'

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