To ask for a snappy comeback for a rude colleague

[Nothavingfunrightnow]

I know IANBU 😁

I very seldom buy new clothing. If I do, a colleague usually comments, sometimes with slightly barbed edges e.g. she wouldn't wear something like that, or I'm brave to wear this at my weight etc. We are both heavy. I'm wearing a new dress today which is markedly different from the clothing I usually wear. It is office appropriate!

Can I have a delicious reply for said colleague, please? We work quite closely so a gentle but pointed "wind your neck in" type reply would be useful, please.

I've just seen her now and, sod's law, she didn't say anything 🙁😂😂😂

Maybe she's on mumsnet....

Must mean she approves of what you're wearing today 😂

How terribly unsatisfactory. The cah.

I had a lovely neighbour who's favourite put down after such a comment ,used to be ''Yes... Well'
It worked for her ,every time

This!

Bloody brilliant!

"Not as brave as you" and look her up and down slowly.

Say "I was thinking the same about your [insert item here]"

Mock sympathy all the way e.g. "I wouldn't wear something like that" respond with "ah, don't be hard on yourself, I think you might look good in something a bit different"

Love @erikbloodaxe response, perfect!

I think if she does it again, silence is the best response. Particularly in a group, just hold eye contact with her and be completely silent.

Silence always makes people feel uncomfortable, it’s awkward, she’ll feel obliged to fill the awkward moment and say something else, but she’ll end up looking even more unpleasant.

'Piss off Fatso!'

Dead 😂

In all seriousness, don't use any of the "witty" responses on here except the one above They're all a bit cringe. Be the bigger person and rise above it.

She’s speaking from her own insecurity. Don’t say anything bitchy back. I’d either totally blank her (at the most, shrug) or say ‘Would you mind not making comments about my appearance?’

"Thank you SO much". And a beaming smile.

My go-to •platinum• response for catty comments is a baffled smile and to say ‘I don’t understand’.

The mean person then has to explain their comment, to which you look REALLY confused but smiley, and say again, ‘I don’t understand’.
By this point they will be writhing with discomfort and bitterly regret getting themselves into the situation. 😬

I see this thread and the fantastic replies made Mumsnet's Facebook page! I can't even comment on this on my FB, as it will be outing 😁

Tell her she could look better if she was braver or more adventurous with her clothing style.

Looks fade. But dumb is forever..

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Then watch them flounder as they try not to repeat the passive/aggressive insult that they now realise you've picked up on.

“I surprise people a lot!”

You're right, It's really NOT your colour

Or just tell her to shut up and stop being such a snark?!

Her: 'I wouldn't wear that'
You: 'no I can see why you wouldn't, I'm just lucky I guess that I can pull it off' dazzling smile, hair swish.

Her: 'you are brave to wear that'.
You: 'I am brave, but this was easy as it looks so good! You could wear flattering clothes too you know, if you wanted to!' Big smile.

Her - any comment she makes
You 'ahh thanks so much, I love it too' big smile.

No bitchiness, just a big smile and a 'thank you' as though you don't take the comments as anything other then compliments. Nothing frustrates those types of miserable people more than happiness, that's why they want to undermine yours.

Agreed. Say them in your head by all means, but they're unlikely to sound witty out loud unless you have the delivery of a natural comic.

Agree with someone who suggested responding with 'sorry, what was that?' She'll know full well you heard her the first time, but it (should) embarrass her having to repeat it, especially in front of others.