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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you know anyone who moved out at 18 (which wasn't for uni)

114 replies

youhaveapalinme98 · 18/05/2022 21:00

I was recently at my friends house and she said that her DD wanted to get a job and rent a flat with some friends . To be honest I was really shocked as although I know 18 is legally an adult in reality it seems like nowadays you are still more of a kid until your early 20s. Does anyone else know anyone who's dc moved out at 18 which wasn't for uni but actually moved 'properly' out and lives independently.

OP posts:
Lunalicious · 18/05/2022 22:21

Yes, I moved out at 17! I left school at 16 got a full time job and wanted freedom. A few years later decided to go back to college, then uni for a degree, masters and PhD. Not the conventional route but worked for me. I am 37 now though so 2 decades ago... how did that happen?!?

Pinklady245612 · 18/05/2022 22:22

I had a mortgage at 19

notanothertakeaway · 18/05/2022 22:25

On MN, lots of people seem to leave home very young. IRL, I don't know so many

Spitescreen · 18/05/2022 22:27

Yup, I left the country to work as an au pair, and then went on to university a year later. I only went home for holidays after the age of 18, and I slept on the sofa when I did — my younger siblings needed the bedroom space. Pretty much everyone I knew left home immediately after we left school, either for university, or they just moved away, often abroad, for jobs or fun. A big group of my friends moved to London (we’re not from the UK, high unemployment at home) and another to Amsterdam. Or illegally in the US. Lived in pretty scuzzy conditions — the London ones lived in a squat, the US ones had no health insurance and were working off the books— but it was a lot of fun.

The mentality of staying living with your parents well into adulthood is foreign to my generation from my home country (late 40s).

S0upertrooper · 18/05/2022 22:28

I moved into my own rented flat in 1985 when I was 18. I had 3 jobs and a college course but loved being independent and having my own space. I saved enough for a deposit on a flat, when I got married 5 years later.

I still dream about that wee flat, I loved having my own space and often wish I was back there. Everything was second hand and a bit thrown together but I loved it.

CatsArePeople · 18/05/2022 22:28

I know grown up people who did, like even at 16-17, but the families were properly dysfunctional, things like drunken violence.
From normal homes kids don't run until they're ready.

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 18/05/2022 22:28

I moved out at 17 whilst doing my A levels. Worked and did my emails, then worked 2 jobs and bought a house at 19. Climbed the ladder from the off, did professional quals and now a whisker off being mortgage free (different house) in my mid-40s. Now doing a degree with the OU for fun.

PradaOnaBudget · 18/05/2022 22:29

Me. I moved from Spain to London to be an aupair

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 18/05/2022 22:31

Hard working middle class family with a dysfunctional centre. We all benefitted from
me not being there. I was ready a year or so before but I wanted to save a bit more cash.

EvenStrangerThings03 · 18/05/2022 22:31

I left home at 18 and got a flat in the closest city, I didn’t realise it wasn’t the done thing until many years later my DM mentioned that she worried at the time she had done something to upset me. She hadn't, I had a blast meeting new people and going on lots of crazy nights out! I think it might have been because most of my friends went to university so it felt like they had left home. It is not necessarily something I would discourage my DC from doing if they were mature enough.

Hawkins001 · 18/05/2022 22:35

If you know what's what and can budget etc, is possible to achieve

JennyJumpup · 18/05/2022 22:36

Yes, I did. It was some time ago now! I moved into a shared house with five blokes. My mum had to come and meet them to ease her mind about it. I ended up marrying one of them.

Muckymaisonette · 18/05/2022 22:39

MrMucky left home at 17 to live in a bedsit near his job and his parents promptly downsized to a 1 bedroom home.

starlingdarling · 18/05/2022 22:41

Me. I left the country and went to Australia to work for a year... then two.... then two more in New Zealand. It was brilliant.

Peppapig7262662 · 18/05/2022 22:41

Me, I was 18 and pregnant. I moved into a council house

Noisenough · 18/05/2022 22:42

I settled to play house really young with my then bf was just us no children. I have no idea why I did though very relaxed parents I just felt it was expected in the 90s. My children are all in there teens/20s and don't look like they are going anywhere anytime soon.

mizzo · 18/05/2022 22:45

I bought a house with DH when I was 18.
One of old neighbours moved away with her partner leaving her 16 yo DD although they paid her rent until she was 17.
DD's friend and her sister lived together at 16 and 18.

Wavygravy1 · 18/05/2022 22:49

I was 19 - and pregnant.

AdamantEve · 18/05/2022 22:50

I moved out at 16 (now 35 for context)
Definitely wouldn’t want my own kids leaving home so young though, even 18 feels too young.
I was a sensible 16 year old but even so, got into some situations I was too young to manage properly by myself.

Pugfostermum · 18/05/2022 22:51

I did, 20 years ago. Lived with a string of unsuitable men/alone/with housemates for years.
It was chaotic, ever changing, interesting, fun, scary, stressful and never dull!

I never got a degree and hopped from job to job, never had any money living payday to payday, but I’m so happy where I am now……. I’ve changed so much as a person over the years…….

DeskInUse · 18/05/2022 22:52

I moved out at 17.

Bonjovispjs · 18/05/2022 22:53

I was 16, left home and moved to London to be a live in nanny, looking back now, I was so ridiculously young, things have changed, no one wants a 16 year old nanny now (understandably) That was 1983!

Thehonestybox · 18/05/2022 22:54

Yeah I did. All my friends were going to uni and leaving the city, so I wanted to leave to even if I wasn't going.

I don't think it's uncommon

SlatsandFlaps · 18/05/2022 22:54

I moved out at 16

Crikeyalmighty · 18/05/2022 22:56

My son was17 and 9 months back in 2016