To buy a cheap birthday present

[TheBolterdahling]

I have a wealthy friend. She is taking a group of us away on her birthday to somewhere that will cost £££. Nearly all her friends are wealthy too. I have a good job but am a single mum and big outgoings. She won’t think I’m poor but the reality is I’ve got about £150 disposable income left until the end of the month no savings and in credit card debt. I don’t know what to get her as a present! Anything I can afford looks cheap. I don’t want to spend all that £150 even tho she’s probably spending four times that on me on the weekend away - I want to keep it for emergencies, unexpected expense or for things for the kids. I wish I hadn’t said I would go now but it wasn’t obvious how much she’d be spending when I committed to the date. She’s not expecting any cash for the weekend away and everything is paid for but she does tend to value expensive things. I’ll buy her a token present but it’s going to have to be cheap….£30 of make up or something…. She’s not a super close friend so I don’t know how comfortable I am telling her I’m broke!

Could you get her something handmade and really thoughtful from, e.g. Etsy for that budget? Just thinking that I wouldn't buy make-up for an adult woman because people tend to use very specific products and £30 won't go far if it's high end make up. I think thought and effort matters more than the monetary value of a gift, so I would put my energies into finding something small but very personal to her.

My wealthy brother in law absolutely loved the photo book I did for him for his 60th birthday - he actually got tearful. It was full of memories of him with the family, from old photos and social media. It took time and effort, but not a lot of money. Obviously I don't know the basis of your friendship, but could you do one with pictures of the friendship group, or an IOU for one with pictures from the weekend away?

I think £30 is more than enough to buy a gift. Personably I would opt for a jo Malone travel candle (£25), Clarins hand & nail cream (£24.50 plus you'd earn boots points if you buy from boots), or a Seychelles bath and body kit from the white company (£28). these are all within your budget, plus they can be gift-wrapped for free and look lovely.

I am Uber crap at gifts, no matter the person or budget, so can't help there, but I wouldn't buy make up or toiletries. She has the money to buy what she prefers to use.

If I was her, I definitely wouldn't want you to be spending your money on a present, I'd just be glad you were coming.

I hope you have a fabulous time & don't spoil it for yourself by feeling like the poor relation!!

I would buy a £25 bottle of lovely wine.

If I was her, I definitely wouldn't want you to be spending your money on a present, I'd just be glad you were coming

I agree. I'd be mortified if someone spent their savings on a present for me, especially if they were on a tight budget.

Could you offer to buy her a special souvenir or something whilst you're away?

As others have said, I’d get a thoughtful gift she will appreciate rather than spending money you don’t have. If she’s a true friend she will be happy with anything.

agree on the etsy thing. OP im a portrait artist and take on commissions starting at about £20. plenty of nice handmade small business gifts are available - there's a group on facebook called 'gals who create' which has thousands of small business owners. if you post in there any ideas and budget there will be lots of comments with ideas, etsy links etc

I’d usually recommend going thoughtful but if you’re not that close would you be able to find something like that?

when is this trip? If it’s something she could get money back from in your shoes I’d politely drop out, it’s a bit cheeky to accept such an expensive trip and give a cheapo gift.

I would suggest finding something unusual without an obvious tangible value eg look in charity shops/antique stores for something quirky. What does she like?

You might be able to get a very nice, good quality silk scarf. Have a look in TK Maxx.

I would, personally, get another credit card, and try to spend £100 on a few carefully calibrated things, like scarf, handbag and sun hat with a band, run up by a seamstress, in fantastic fabric you got cheap. I think £30 limits you,band you could have done a bit of saving to get it to £100, or £120.

Or look for solid gold jewellery in eBay or somewhere, cheap.

eBay might be good for an original map or water colour of where she is from, plus a beautiful artistic scarf.

Hand blown glass vase. EBay or a local crafts person.

www.selfridges.com/GB/en/cat/anna-nina-ocean-glass-candle-holder-11cm_R03642890/?cm_mmc=PLA--Google--HOMETECH-_-ANNA%2BNINA&POR=Y&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=na_na_pla-b_na_na_na_DOM_PLA-CATCHALL-ZOMBIE-SKUS-SSC&gclid=Cj0KCQjwspKUBhCvARIsAB2IYutnXAtb7_X1u4YVaFK7-ss1ROzm57VIabq3AytPtZjEzY8C0leUUE8aAuvJEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Not a close enough friend to tell her that you're broke, but close enough to accept 600 quid worth of a weekend away? 🤔

Taking out another credit card is terrible advice! It’s the thought that counts not the amount spent!

I thought this too.

Yes this.

I'd get a Dior eyeshadow palette in taupe/naturals. Really fantastic quality and if she likes more expensive things it should appeal to her. They cost a little bit more though. About £42. Or you could get a nice bottle of champagne for you all to share, I did that once at a party as I was skint, I had a bottle of pink champagne for some reason and took it with me. Everyone loved it and we had it with the birthday cake. 😊

My friend is in a bit of debt and often doesn't have much money - I always say I would rather have her there than have extra money in my account. In this case if you were my friend I would rather have you there than an expensive gift.

I can see it now, "Is my friend a CF, payed hundreds for her to go on holiday with me and she wouldnt pay for her own meal, wouldnt pay for a round of drinks, and to top it off gave me a cheap gift! AIBU to drop them"

Think of all the words that will be going around about you. If possible make your excuses and dont go or itll be held over you that you owe someone something and youll feel awful, its all completely avoidable, treat yourself to something at home instead.

I have just bought myself this, could you run to £52

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1024960506/cashmere-knitted-shawl-travel-wrap?click_key=82f3a6348eb4e52b8d6160dab87accae11218346%3A1024960506&click_sum=6b0d25a1&ref=hp_rv-1&frs=1

Thank you so much for these lovely ideas!

She’s not very quirky and I haven’t got enough history to do the handmade personal thing for her.

This is lovely!

It’s all paid for now! I think I’m going to drop into convo that I’m totally skint