Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy a cheap birthday present

79 replies

TheBolterdahling · 18/05/2022 09:10

I have a wealthy friend. She is taking a group of us away on her birthday to somewhere that will cost £££. Nearly all her friends are wealthy too. I have a good job but am a single mum and big outgoings. She won’t think I’m poor but the reality is I’ve got about £150 disposable income left until the end of the month no savings and in credit card debt. I don’t know what to get her as a present! Anything I can afford looks cheap. I don’t want to spend all that £150 even tho she’s probably spending four times that on me on the weekend away - I want to keep it for emergencies, unexpected expense or for things for the kids. I wish I hadn’t said I would go now but it wasn’t obvious how much she’d be spending when I committed to the date. She’s not expecting any cash for the weekend away and everything is paid for but she does tend to value expensive things. I’ll buy her a token present but it’s going to have to be cheap….£30 of make up or something…. She’s not a super close friend so I don’t know how comfortable I am telling her I’m broke!

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 19/05/2022 07:27

A nice bottle of fizz and some posh chocolates is always a winner. She can then enjoy them when you're away or save them for at home on her own.
Agree with others, no make up etc.
I doubt she will be expecting a gift to the value of what she's spending on you (at least, she shouldn't)!

Sexheadacheouch · 19/05/2022 07:59

Definitely bringing fizz. See I’d love expensive make up as a present but didn’t realise people are funny about it! I was checking her Instagram to see what colour her lips usually are. I think I’m going to do fizz and some posh bath stuff or a silk scarf. I could defo make a cake, and do for lots of people but i’m very amateur and this whole weekend is professionally catered!! Goddam.

Sexheadacheouch · 19/05/2022 08:00

Oh whoops just realised I’ve messed up a name change on this thread. Was trying to post anonymously about a sex headache 😂😂😂

Merryclaire · 19/05/2022 08:31

She sounds quite well off, and in reality there isn’t a £30 generic birthday gift that is going to impress her. But I don’t think it’s about the money.
Being as she has paid for people who aren’t even her close friends to go away, it sounds like she is a bit lonely and trying to expand her inner circle.
While a really personal or handmade gift may not be possible, I just think you should at least try to get something more thoughtful and spend less money. Depending on her interests, it could be a book you think she’ll enjoy, something that commemorates the birthday weekend (eg product specific to that location), a plant for her garden (like a birthday rose) or something humorous.
If she is judging you on the value of your gift, then I don’t think you want to join her inner circle anyway.
If she is close friend material, then she’ll appreciate the thought that has gone into it.

TankFlyBoss · 19/05/2022 10:59

I cannot believe there is advice on here to take out another credit card specially to buy a friend a present!!

ElenaSt · 19/05/2022 11:12

One of the loveliest gifts I have ever received was from a chap I worked with who made gingerbread men and put them in (cheap) tins.

Can you bake/sew/knit/crochet or any other craft to make a thoughtful gift?

shoehornartth · 19/05/2022 11:15

I'd buy some Chanel / Dior makeup. They come in beautiful packaging. I'd also get a nice little bottle of wine / a thoughtful photo with frame. All can be done for £50 or under

RosieRoww · 19/05/2022 15:51

What about this?

www.anthropologie.com/en-gb/shop/grecian-bust-planter

Iamnotamermaid · 19/05/2022 16:07

Go local and buy something nice but looks artesian like handmade soaps. www.latherandsmudge.com/soaps-small-six.htm

Or handmade chocolates
www.chocolatesofglenshiel.com/

WashableVelvet · 19/05/2022 16:12

a batch of home made brownies and a book you’ve enjoyed recently / a new bestseller.

Fine to say you’re skint but you don’t need to say you haven’t planned well. To me that sounds like you think it’s your fault you’re shunt because you just spent loads on unnecessary stuff.

caringcarer · 19/05/2022 16:36

Flowers.

Sexheadacheouch · 19/05/2022 18:17

RosieRoww · 19/05/2022 15:51

I love this but it’s quite personal taste type thing!

User280905 · 19/05/2022 18:35

Definitely tell her up front that you're skint in case there's any expectation of paying into a kitty for drinks or anything.

I also like getting books people have enjoyed as gifts. Feels quite personal. You could put a nice postcard or something in it as a bookmark, a postcard of a place you know is special to her or something?

noenergy · 19/05/2022 19:10

Search up next beauty box, it's quite cheap and has great products in it

DuckBilledD1n0 · 19/05/2022 19:56

What about a framed photo of you all together on the holiday or just the 2 of you on the holiday

A memory together

123walrus · 19/05/2022 20:01

Is there a risk that the trip away will end up costing you money (eg drinks, meals, extra activities) or is it all inclusive?

Fridgeorflight · 19/05/2022 20:16

If you can bake then make a box of biscuits or similar to all share while away.

If she's close enough to have invited you, she should understand your financial position.

StealingYourWiFi · 19/05/2022 20:32

dior sell lovely lipgloss online that you can get engraved with a name for free and also gift wrapped. About £30 I think

purpleboy · 19/05/2022 20:54

How about a scratch card gift, if your creative you can do it in bouquet style, or as a cake, or in a picture frame.
Like these?

To buy a cheap birthday present
To buy a cheap birthday present
Bedsheets4knickers · 19/05/2022 22:30

BarbaraofSeville · 19/05/2022 05:50

Bloody hell this thread is ridiculous.

Suggesting the OP get into more debt to buy a load of crap that the friend probably doesn't even want or could buy herself without blinking.

OP, surely your friend is not that dense that she doesn't realise that you don't have endless money if you're covering all your household outgoings by yourself?

Real friends wouldn't want you to be struggling to keep up with their higher means. So don't keep pretending that you can because all that is happening is that it's getting you into debt or your DC are missing out in favour of people who don't need and shouldn't want your money.

It looks like you've had a name change fail and are exploring the drawing that another poster has offered, so that and a bottle of Cremant (French sparkling wine that is just as good as champagne but just from elsewhere in France) for about a tenner sounds like a lovely gift that is more than enough.

Yep I agree , this is totally ridiculous... what's the harm in just saying I can't afford a gift but will absolutely be joining in the celebrations ... I'm sure you have been invited is because she values your presence rather then what present you bring along x

Pyri · 19/05/2022 22:39

purpleboy · 19/05/2022 20:54

How about a scratch card gift, if your creative you can do it in bouquet style, or as a cake, or in a picture frame.
Like these?

Oh good god no!! This is hideous!

As are the suggestions for photo frames, oven gloves, tea towels, homemade scarves etc

We are just one suggestion away from a Younique lipgloss or a wine glass rolled in glitter with her name on it

Mumdiva99 · 20/05/2022 05:43

@ShirleyPhallus We definitely are not 1950's house wives.....have you actually seen the t towels.....there is something ironic about getting a political t-towel....maybe it doesn't appeal to your humour..... the oven gloves/t towel set is just really pretty and brightens the kitchen....one of those things I didn't know I wanted till I got...... I am a normal wine drinking, gossip loving, normal person!! Who gets impressed when a gift is something different. Lol.

Palavah · 20/05/2022 05:55

Agree there is some nonsense on here!

Do tell her upfront that you're skint in case there is a kitty - good advice.

If she's a real friend she won't care, she'll just want you there.

Focus on the gift being thoughtful rather than expensive.

It'll also be unfair on the other guests who are likely to put their hands in their pockets and they'll be subsidising you too - this is terrible advice! It's not that kind of transaction.

Hop27 · 20/05/2022 06:47

@SavvyShopper1 has the best advice. Buy something small and quality, that she can use.
Hotel chocolate or a bottle of champagne. Flowers or houseplants (orchid's) are lovely gifts.
Aesop shower gels / hand washes are always lovely.

I would pre-warn her your skint too!