What’s the general MN verdict on donor eggs?

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The general critical re-examination of surrogacy is quite evident, and I have my own views on that, which I’ll keep quiet for the purposes of this thread.

Now I find myself chewing over other fertility treatment. I’ve had fertility treatment myself and so have family members. So I have a sense of how private clinics put you on a conveyor belt and normalise things.

What is the general view on donor eggs & embryos (implanted into the birth mother and gestated by her)?

Im trying really hard not to bias the result so have tossed a coin to assign YABU/YANBU to viewpoints. Don’t read into that.

YANBU = Donor gametes are ethically fine.
YABU = Donor gametes are problematic.

There's a lot of support for adoptive parents and adopted children in this country (because adoption is seen as finding a family for a child, rather than finding a child for a family- the child is absolutely front and centre, in the UK at least).

I'm concerned that there is none of this same support for donor conceived children, or children born through surrogacy.

Agree.
I’m so glad the anonymity clause was scrapped. How can people presume to deny another person their right to know their own genetic history. It’s bizarre.

Apparently ivf with egg donation started in the 80s and the HFEA was set up to include all aspects of fertility treatment, including sperm and egg donation. I didn’t realise you were still talking just about egg donation though, because you said “donor conception” rather than “egg donation”.

This is my belief as well. But I was never actually tested on this myself- I have a feeling I wouldn't have been so selfless 💐

I was told after my failed NHS cycle that I would need donor eggs and I could go on a waiting list for 2 years to wait for someone to share their eggs with me, and it would cost £15,000. Oddly enough I did not take that option. I paid £5000 and was guaranteed 10 eggs. My donor was British, at university in Cyprus, and was paid around £1000 in expenses.
I've read interviews with egg donors and so many say that they wanted to help women, and wanted financial support, for uni for example. Why would you stop that? No one is being forced into it.

The thing that pisses me off is that no one has these discussions about donor sperm. I think its utterly sexist. Women who have eggs that don't make babies are massively stigmatised in society. Its absolutely fine to use mens tissue to make babies, but as soon as its the woman who has the problems, the moral police come out in force.

Where is the reproductive freedom if you cant have your own biological children?

I’ll see if I can find figures, but I am totally convinced egg donation was still unusual in 1990. I can remember specific cases getting substantial coverage as late as the turn of the millennium precisely because of the novelty.

I did make clear in the OP that the vote was about eggs/embryos rather than sperm.

In theory I don’t have an issue with it but I think you NEED to be very honest with your child and be prepared to support therapy/them wanting to know who their genetic parents are and that being a difficult thing for them

@AliceAbsolum Good point. Men have been donating sperm (one way or another) for thousands of years and generally people aren’t telling them what they should or should not do.

My DN was conceived via a donor egg. The egg came from a women who was offered cheap IVF in exchange for excess eggs. To me this is unethical, and it's effectively coercion of desperate women, as I doubt many wealthy women recieving IVF are generously giving their eggs (and genetics) away out of the kindness of their hearts.

I also have concerns about the complex questions that individuals produced via donor IVF will have about their generic mother's as they grow up.

I would have been happy to donate an egg, and then SILs brother would have had to donate sperm (for obvious reasons), as to me that would have made more sense as it could be easily explained to the child that at a grandparent level there was no difference in terms of genetics, than if they had been conceived normally.

Because donating sperm has nowhere near the taxing effect on the body that egg retrieval does. In fact it’s positively enjoyable.

and why is biology important when it comes to parents having a child, but not when it comes to a child knowing both of their biological parents? Where is your child freedom to know the woman who donated you her eggs?

TheKeatingFive · 17/05/2022 18:16

I wasn't trying to approve of exploitation. I suppose that is why I used the word 'chooses' rather than 'forced'.

'choices' aren't always freely made though. Which we need to be on the alert for. And there can be emotional manipulation also.

Of course the removal of eggs from a woman's body can be traumatic, but my point is that it is her body and her choice. You are making the point that it is her body but your choice. I disagree with you and welcome any comment you might have on my central point: "her body, her choice".

Egg and sperm donors are the same in law, with rights the children have to know their donors in the UK. The difference is biological rather than moral. My partner could go and be a private sperm donor to every woman in the town and there's nothing than can stop that. Some particularly charming men prefer the 'natural insemination' route. Lots of people take issue with that. Private egg donation is impossible as far as I'm aware, so of course women haven't been doing that.

Lots of criticism against men who give their sperm to all and sundry, in an uncontrolled way though. It's been a while since I watched it, but I remember the reported being particularly unimpressed with

I don't think many women who donate eggs have a choice though....they either do it because they need the money or they do it because they are desperate to fund their own infertility treatment and it's the latter which is so deeply concerning and what I'm so uncomfortable with.

So if a person chooses to sell their blood, or a kidney, that's ok is it?

Why do you think we are not allowed to receive money for donating blood?

It's funny how 'her body her choice' only applies when people need to harvest female body parts.

How come it's not 'his body his choice' for selling organs?

My friend is in a same sex couple and will be starting treatment to have a baby soon. My friend found out there was a discount for donating her eggs, she was thrilled she could save a considerable amount. I said to her you do realise you will have other biological children out there doesn't that bother you? She replied well they aren't actually mine are they. I find it amazing how she seemed to ignore genetics and she didn't even seem to have considered she could be contacted by these children once they reach 18, not to mention her children could inadvertently meet them. I guess when you can't have biological children as a couple the whole donor conception thing no longer seems like a big deal, whether it's eggs or sperm?

Being offered a discount as an incentive to donate eggs is wrong, much like paying young college students to donate sperm. Are these people really thinking about the long term consequences and most importantly what about these children created? Is it really fair to create children in this way, what about the long term impact on them? Much like surrogacy the focus is all on the couple who wants a child, not the child created, for me that just doesn't sit right.

I’m in favour of surrogacy and donor eggs and sperm.

AS LONG AS it’s not paid for in any way by the NHS.

The only thing I care about with regards to fertility is that it should only be privately funded - children aren’t a right and they aren’t something taxpayers should pay for.

A very young woman either in her teens or barely out of her teens was paid £1000 to go through the gruelling process of egg retrieval. It is a VERY invasive procedure (with lots of prep and harsh medicine beforehand). Not to mention the physical and emotional recovery. That’s no money at all. Could you live on that amount for an entire semester (as I imagine she had to)?

Again, £1000 is nothing. She was clearly desperate. The company (earned £4k out of the £5k) and you profited and exploited her. The child isn’t even genetically yours.

You should read The Farm by Joanne Ramos.

You are making the point that it is her body but your choice

Its not my choice.

However society shouldn't necessarily allow 'choices' that are detrimental to the individual and open to exploitation or emotional manipulation.

Its not entirely 'her choice' if above apply.

It isn't "exceptionally" risky. It carries a risk as does all surgery/ medical procedures.

I'm not saying it's pleasant or easy, I have been though ivf myself but to call it's exceptionally risky is wrong

However society shouldn't necessarily allow 'choices' that are detrimental to the individual and open to exploitation or emotional manipulation.

Yep, which is why you can't pay homeless people to fight for your entertainment or empty the bank accounts of willing but vulnerable people. There are legal and moral restrictions to what a person can consent to.

Which is not to say I think there is an analogy between donors/surrogates and the activities above just to make the point that consent is only ever one part of the equation when it comes to choice.

What a horrible thing to say. You should be ashamed of yourself

I think it's the most outrageously selfish act anyone can do to be honest

really @breatheintheamazing

id say the mother who had the 4 children my friend fosters who all had to be taken into care and all who have FAS and associated mental health problems is way more selfish than someone having a baby via donor eggs and bringing up the child in a loving family.

What a horrible thing to say. You should be ashamed of yourself

The poster isn't alone in thinking that paying a young vulnerable woman a grand is exploitative.