Is it even worth trying to lost weight?

[toolatetoloseweight]

I am currently in the obese range and about 4 stone over my healthy weight. I basically put on loads of weight in my first pregnancy (6 years ago) and I've never managed to shift it.
I was previously a healthy weight but was a fat child and have always struggled a bit with putting on weight very easily.

I keep reading stats saying how unlikely it is for an obese woman to ever lose the weight and keep it off without bariatric surgery - and it is making me wonder if it is even worth trying at this stage...

For context, I am relatively active - walk the dog twice a day, swim twice a week, run around after kids, occasionally go for a run (3-5km so not massive distances but just to put in context that I'm not so big as to be struggling to get around). I dont have a terrible diet (though obviously could be better!). i know from experience that small changes don't make a difference to me- I need to eat under 1200 calories to lose. I am terribly unhappy with the way I look and dread going out and being see by people. However not sure if it is all just a losing battle at this stage...

I’ve lost around 10 lbs by ditching carbs, no bread etc except rarely as a treat. Could you go to a club ? Or have you friends you could weigh with weekly to encourage you ? Don’t be downhearted as it’s a vicious cycle with dieting.

find out how many calories you should be eating to lose and track via my fitness pal or other apps. It’s easy to think you’re not eating that much when you are. Good luck, it’s not easy particularly as we get older .

the reason (and the only reason) people put the weight back on is because they start overeating again. Ask me how I know!

If you stick to your 1200 calories per day, and then when you reach your goal weight you eat no more than your maintenance calories, you cannot gain the weight back. It's not easy but it is that simple.

Every pound you lose will make you feel better, improve your health and extend your lifespan.

Huh, preach. I've been frantically trying to get prepared for an upcoming wedding and suddenly realised I can neither a) lose 4 stone in 3 weeks nor b) polish a turd.

I am fat, I'm going to wear a nice dress, put on some slap and enjoy a lovely wedding as MYSELF. Am owning my fat.

That "why should I bother, it will never work" mentality is how people with eating disorders think. It's like a little devil on your shoulder saying "you can't get rid of me, don't even try". The little devil is only interested in its own existence. It's not telling you anything real.

I honestly believe now that diets don't work. They're not sustainable.

I'm reading Anti-diet by Christy Harrison at the moment and it's eye opening. I also really recommend the "out of the cave" podcast by Lisa Schlosberg, which is all about the mind/body connection and our relationship with food.

I have spent my life feeling shit about myself because I'm not thin enough, and I'm sick of it. Dieting and restriction just leads to bingeing in my experience. Which leads to shame and self hatred. I'm done.

I'm focusing on healing my relationship with my body and my relationship with food. Exercising to get strong, eating to nourish my body. Being kind to myself instead of punishing myself. If I get thinner then great, if not, I'm really working on not feeling like my worth is defined by my weight and size.

The good news is that you should be able to eat more calories than 1200 because of your size.

Get and app and work out how much you can eat to loose weight really slowly. Get another app to log the calories for everything you eat.

Just take it slow. Make permanent changes. You could even start with no snacking between meals.

Maybe check out rebelfit on Facebook too? Just their posts (as opposed to paying for their missions), has changed my mindset completely.

Oh god OP, I read that earlier about the gastric sleeve. Complete b***s and it makes me really angry that people are spreading this kind of stuff when it's completely unnecessary.

I recommend watching Dr Jason Fung videos on youtube. He elucidates the science of obesity and how to reset your BMI and blood sugar / insulin resistance with fasting.

Although it might seem counter intuitive it's a completely natural and a really healthy way to lose weight and previous to the past few generations only within human history, humans regularly went a day or several days or even more without food. This means your body can use up the stored fat. Dieting, low calorie etc makes it harder because you're constantly interfering by feeding with your body's natural mechanism to restore its insulin sensitivity. So going without food (but allowing water, and black coffee / herbal tea without sugar) resets your body and allows proper, sustainable weight loss. Be sure to read about electrolyte supplementation if you're planning a longer fast. Work up to it slowly (start on 12hrs, then 16, then 20, then 24 hrs etc to get your body used to it). And be careful what you eat when you get out of fasting too, to ensure your body doesn't go mad with all the new calories or carbs you're putting in (Fung will explain more).

Have a look at this for inspiration and before and after :

www.reddit.com/r/fasting/top/?t=all

There's loads of great advice and support on there and you will be surprised how quickly you can build up.

I recommend choosing 1 - 2 days a week to regularly fast on for whatever period you choose (days you're usually busy or less around temptation is easier) e.g. tue and fri. Then stick to it. You will be able to gradually increase. you will be surprised at the difference it makes and it is totally sustainable because you can keep a regular fasting pattern in your week or do a couple of days if you feel you need to once the weight is off.

Thanks for the support.

I do understand that technically I SHOULD be able to eat more than 1200 and lose weight but in reality it doesn't work. I am pretty good at tracking in MFP so I have a good idea of how much I eat.

@puppetcat yes I will have a look at this. I did lose a couple of stone doing fast 800 last year so fasting during the mornings and then 800 calories per day. however, although I lost weight, my waist measurements barely changed which felt really depressing and when I stopped I just put the weight back on anyway. I was thinking of giving it another go but maybe just doing two or three days per week with the intention to continue indefinitely rather than stopping after 12 weeks. But then I saw that stat about bariatric surgery and it just made me think am I totally kidding myself that I could ever get back to a reasonable size again. I'm not sure what the science behind that is - is it even true? and if so, why? honestly, it is the most off-putting thing to read!

@misskatamari I wish I could stop associating my worth with my size - when I think of it objectively I can see how shallow it is. But honestly I just feel repulsed by myself. it sounds weird but I also feel like my body just doesn't lend itself to being fat. like I see other larger ladies who do actually look great but with me, it just doesn't suit me. I don't have an hourglass shape - totally apple. My features are also quite small and my hair very thin so all gets a bit swallowed up by my big face :(

I used to think it was hopeless as well, I didn't think I was overeating and thought I was fairly active. But weight was just slowly going up. Until after I had a baby I gained a lot of weight which they said was normal, but I didn't bounce back like they said I would. When I cut out carbs it helped a lot. I lost a lot of weight initially without much exercise. Then I discovered I had all this energy and hikes/activities were so much easier to do being at a healthier weight. When I strayed from my diet, I regained my weight and didn't have motivation to be active. So I know now it's just how my body works, so I am now back to it again and seeing results.

Keep trying. I heard of some people losing weight without even cutting out carbs, but just got to find out what works for you. Start with eating healthy (less to no process foods), have good portion control, try your best to cut out the junk and sugar. I understand how unfair it feels that some of us have to be more mindful about what we put into our bodies, but being able to maintain good health is worth it.

I know exactly how you feel. I’m 4 stones overweight than I should be. I start off really good on Mondays but by Wednesday/Thursday I just binge. I wish I knew the secret to losing weight!

if I think back to my younger days I was really skinny and the “secret” was I didn’t have time to eat. I lived alone and didn’t buy chocolate, crisps etc. but now I have a family and I can’t forget to eat as I need to feed the kids and DH! It’s difficult isn’t it. Why don’t we start together eating healthy tomorrow? I will join you and we can support each other.

I dieted after DC and lost 8 stone
over a few years (10+) I regained 6 stone
which I then lost doing slimming world
kept it off for a few years until covid then put back on 4 stone
currently dieting again but for me it’s the only way

@vrrnbb do you mind sharing what you eat on a typical day? Well done for losing weight without excercise. I personally eat more when I’ve gone to the gym, do others feel the same?

you are worth more than you believe but your health is important too. May I suggest joining a group like slimming world or weight watchers ?
all the best x

The reason most people fail is because a massive calorie deficit to 1200 just causes exhaustion and low mood, so they binge after a while, loose motivation.

The other thing they do is concentrate on weekly weighing. Worst thing you can do especially as a woman as our weight changes so much during our cycle.

Cutting carbs and so forth keto, all shit, don't bother, whatever you loose you'll gain back after such restriction.

Best way to loose weight. Weigh yourself once a month mid cycle. Also reduce your daily intake by 15% see how that goes for a month, if no loss or you find yourself on a plateau increase the deficit to say another 15% see how that goes. And so on and so on. You can't go from eating 2500 calories a day to 1200 overnight and think your body isn't going to start screaming "I'm starving" after 3 days, because that's the intake it's used to.

So maybe if you average 2500 drop to 2375 for 4 weeks when you eventually plateau on the losses, drop again by 15% to say 1807, then again wait for the plateau and drop but less this time to maybe 1500. If you step and stage your calorie deficit you are more likely to achieve a long term weight loss, because you are giving your body time to adapt and change, rather than shocking it. You'll also naturally find you "maintenance" intake and find you keep it off as you have retrained your brain and body.

Reducing to 1200 calories for 2lb a week on MFP is never going to work in the long term. It's pants.

NO one and I mean NO one should be eating 1200 calories a day. Especially if you are classed as overweight. 1600 MINIMUM if you want to be successful. Enjoy food. Do it in moderation. Increase your runs to 6-7km 2-3 times a week. Drink lots of water.

Hi op, ignore that stupid comment about bariatric surgery. It sounds like the person they mentioned said it has an agenda to sell gastric sleeve ops! Complete rubbish. And check out that fasting subreddit for inspiration :)

i do think doing a day or two a week even when you’re normalised is helpful because its a reminder to be mindful ongoing as well as helping keep weight off.

And what is a world without some treats eh?

I’ve also found slimpod hypnosis course good. 9 mins a day podcast to listen to while you’re drifting off to sleep and seems to help. A trial is free i believe. Try it!

I fundamentally disagree with clubs like slimming world etc. They work while youre on them but not after.

check out james clear talking about atomic habits on youtube. Great inspo for habit building and changing bad habits. His book Atomic Habits also great but the videos enough to get you going. I add a reminder in my calendar to watch once a month or so to remind me how to keep my good habits on track. So inspiring!

My understanding is the diets only work while you are on them, and the minute you come off them, the weight comes back on.

There is an excellent podcast called Maintenance Phase about the diet and wellness industry, well worth a listen.

I’m overweight too and having lost almost two stone in last year still overweight. I do slimming world. Just keep doing it keep going. Some of the food is lovely if you get the recipe books. But you do have to keep your eye on it at all times whichever diet you do. Good luck

I saw that stat posted (the 1 in 1200 thing?) and, to be honest, my first thought was that it was a typo for 1 in 12. Then my second thought was that, if it is accurate, then it must refer to the super morbidly obese not 'just' the obese. You don't even need to be visually that big (to our modern eyes) to be classed as obese and I know loads of people who were 'a bit fat' who have lost weight and kept it off permanently (or at least for several years so far). I don't think surgery is a good answer for people without massive amounts of weight to lose, personally. I can see that it could be the only realistic way forward for people with serious food addiction whose health is already massively compromised.

I'm the same as you. Nothing happens unless I starve myself harshly. It's demoralising.

I don't think you should value yourself according to your size, though I totally understand the pressures that lead you to do so.

I'd recommend looking up a podcast, MindPump 'why women should bulk'

We all lose muscle as we get older, and the amount of muscle we have has a direct correlation with how many calories we need in a day. Focusing on getting stronger (and as a side effect, building muscle - not bodybuilder style, just to the levels we had in our twenties) feels a much more positive way of doing things compared to depriving/limiting/restricting. In the short term, it'll make us motivated by being able to do things we couldn't do before. In the longer term, more muscle means we need more calories to get by, so no more sub 500cal dinners or cutting things in half.

If I didn't do strength training, at my age I'd be putting on weight if I averaged 1600 calories a day. With strength training, I most likely average 2000-2400. I don't calorie count and don't need to.

In a way I skip breakfast, I will have coffee though with heavy cream and stevia. Lately for lunch I have been packing a sandwich using zero carb bread, and a no sugar drink. For dinner, I would have some type of protein, like Chicken or Steak with a side of vegetables, like broccoli, asparagus or brussels sprouts. I don't shy away from eating fats, it helps keeps me full. When I want to snack I eat berries, nuts or cheese. I used to have a lot of keto snack bars but I've found that it stalled me. I'll have those though when I go on hikes, and supplement with no sugar electrolyte drinks. So I do feel like I eat more when I exercise, but I don't think it sets you back.

The hardest thing for me was cutting out sugar. But I found alternatives.

I try to intermittent fast, but I don't have a true eating window. I just try my best to not eat so late if I'm actually not really hungry. I feel like it's almost a mindset. It took a while for me to not feel so hungry all the time though. You can start small, just don't go back to old bad eating habits. Also, stalling is your body's way of being stubborn. So don't let it trick you and keep at it.

Just not true. At 5 ft tall, a woman eating 1600 cals per day with sedentary lifestyle will gain weight.

Absolutely it is worth it. I think the figures that get thrown around about the percentage of diets that fail can be a bit misleading- yes most diets fail but many of us have been on a lot of diets. It’s a bit like smoking- most of my attempts to give up failed but I still gave up, because the last one succeeded. You only need to diet and keep it off once 😎

Also bear in mind that any weight loss is beneficial. It’s not a failure because someone didn’t get to target weight.

What i would advise is looking into the causes of your weight gain- what are your triggers for overeating? If you can address those you hugely increase your chances of long-term success.

What worked for me was keeping a vague eye on calories, increasing veg, cutting out sugar and alcohol. It has to be something you can
keep up. Try to get out of the binge/restrict mindset where you’re either off your diet (bingeing) or on a diet (harsh restrictions).