To ask if this childcare model exists?

[PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates]

DH and I both teach - me part-time SLT and him full-time headteacher, which I mention only to explain that we are in jobs with almost zero flexibility in term time.

We have two primary-age DC, one of whom has some SEN and health needs. We use a brilliant childminder for wraparound care. Grandparents are very very supportive but 100+ miles away on both sides, so although they are very happy to help with planned childcare they can’t help with emergencies.

I have the opportunity to go for a new role but realistically to make it work we would need an extra element to our childcare, which I’m not sure exists - hence this post. We would need someone who would be willing to be available to pick up the children if, for example, they were unexpectedly unwell in school or to care for them on an ad hoc basis if they were poorly. I imagine we’d have to pay some kind of retainer and then an hourly / daily rate for any care provided?

Does such a thing exist? Most of my friends have grandparents locally enough not to need to pay for this kind of support. Another friend has a similar arrangement with a nanny / housekeeper but we can’t afford this.

Tbf it might be a new MN record to get seventy posts into a teacher’s thread before someone came along to have a pop. Next time say you’re a train driver.

Unfortunately this is exactly why (or a large part of why) so many women end up staying in lower paid but more flexible jobs where they have built up goodwill, rather than moving jobs and pressing ahead with their careers.

OP it really does decrease exponentially every year in terms of bugs. It will hopefully be far rarer for them to get ill and also covid testing requirements will be gone.

As an aside, my DD was the same wrt colds going to chest and inhalers, she also snored. She ended up having her tonsils and adenoids out due to sleep apnoea and is transformed. Might be worth looking into (yet more medical appts I know).

You need to employ a nanny/housekeeper. That's the only reliable way you will get everything looked after. You will pay more but saves all the hassle of being left in the lurch with no childcare

Thanks @minipie I will keep an eye on that.

@Hobbitfeet32 that's what the op is saying though. She can't cancel or shuffle round. The pupils she has to teach are there. No where for them to be shuffled to or cancelled. There is literally no supply staff especially after 8am.

I get one day a year paid childcare from work. After that I have to take it unpaid. A bout of chicken pox will stop us paying the mortgage that month currently. Things are that tight. It's quite scary. I rely on my DH to take turns. But he's military and with all
The will in the world they won't fly him back from the Middle East when my toddler has been throwing up all night.

I really really do not want this to turn into a teacher-bashing thread, please. I don't think I'm special. I mentioned my job, and DH's, because it's relevant to the issue that I wanted to discuss. I even specifically mentioned that we only have an issue during term time. FWIW I consider the holidays to be a great privilege and we happily do a lot to help friends and family with holiday childcare.

Just for clarity, my post wasn't having a pop - I was literally saying that teachers must need thick skins because you get so much grief!

I didn’t think you were @Clymene

Not teacher bashing, just suggesting that time could be taken in an emergency. What would happen if you collapsed and were unconscious? Would the children be left unattended, would you be expected to revive yourself and continue teaching? I realise it’s not easy to cover teaching in an emergency but I don’t believe it is impossible. As it is in other jobs. I think it would be key to share the emergency care with your husband so that it didn’t always fall on one person.

My parents were both teachers. We just weren't allowed to be ill! Literally the only days I ever had off school were a couple off days off with chicken pox. I stayed at home on my own and the neighbour popped in....Not sure how old I was, but definitely under 13 as we moved house then. We took a pretty similar approach with our own kids, though in fact DH did work at home fair bit so it wouldn't have been as big a problem.

It's amazing how much less time kids will need off when there is no childcare available! Presumably if you really have to take day off to look after a properly sick child then you just do. Same as if you were ill. Just not any more often than you have to. And if the illness lasts longer then grandparents would help by the sound of it.

I get what you're saying @Hobbitfeet32 and in an emergency I am sure they are not expected to revive themselves. But the op has stated it's the amount of sickness small children have. I'm sure you have experienced the relentlessness yourself. I'm assuming the op or others don't collapse unconscious as often as small children have a cough cold infection viral rash chicken pox hand foot and mouth croup eye infection ear infections just to name a few of the common illnesses. At least I hope they don't!

I’ve addressed most of these points in other posts. DH does plenty. He changed the timings of his school’s day so that working parents on the staff (including him) could drop their own children off and get there in good time to set up for the day.

It was the bitchy swipe about the number of working weeks and the sneer at your teacher friends that were bashy.

OP this is a common problem for people I know in London who didn’t grow up there - two working parents, no local family. Either one parent (and let’s face it, it is nearly always the mother) gives up work or chokes their career, or you go for the £££ gold standard of a full time nanny for school aged kids. Easier for office workers now than it was where WFH is more set up and accepted but that doesn’t help you.

I have used emergency nannies in the past when we had access to that through a work plan but a) this was pre pandemic and b) we only needed to used it when our childcare was unavailable for a few days here and there unexpectedly. I really don’t know whether they would care for actually sick kids, my sense is they wouldn’t. But you could try finding some local ones and see what they could do.

It sounds really difficult but I think the ideas of -— agency nanny if there are predicable long periods off eg period after chicken poX

• perhaps grandparents travelling in the above scenario

but tbh I have grandparents nearby but they don’t want my kids when they’re too sick or infectious to be at school! And I think it’s a lot to ask.

I would go ahead and if you have to be off you have to be off. They’re hardly going to sack you for that are they?

Re the ‘what would happen if you fell unconscious’ comment - I have worked in schools where staff are literally expected to have a word with themselves, a sugary tea and carry on with the day if they feel like passing out/Ill as there’s no other option so yes it does happen! Also medical appts expected to be arranged in holidays not in work time.

Do you really want your kids to remember that when they were Ill neither mum or dad were around and they were left with whoever was free?

You just have to get on with it, it's not forever.

Why not? My mum didn’t stay at home when I was sick if she had to work. We had a mishmash of carers when v. young and then neighbours popping in when a bit older. They were all perfectly nice and could heat up Heinz soup as well as my mum. I didn’t need her to be there all day. I needed to know I was loved and for her to make sure I had what I needed. Which she did. I also needed the roof it helped keep over our heads and the fun days out in the summer.

Two suggestions:

One find a student who is attending college doing a childcare course and who might be interested in supporting you like this. Great experience for them and a chance to earn some money. You might even be able to have a list of students who can help thus allowing for a few people to say "no" before you get to a "yes"

Employ a housekeeper+ role. My friends had someone who came to their house everyday, an older woman. She became like family to them. She needed the chance to earn money and was lonely. Over time and as the relationship grew if my friend or her brother were ill they could go home and be looked after by this wonderful woman.

In both cases you need to check all the legalities and do due diligence but no reason why you shouldn't pilot something that works for you.

Basically I think there IS a solution, you just need to budget for it and put some effort into making something that will work just for you.

I know you mention SEN and I don't know the details but I have found that once DC get to secondary school illness becomes "easier" they can (child dependent) be left alone with phone, food and TV/screen of some sort.

So it is perhaps only a solution you need until secondary?

Good luck.