To ask if this childcare model exists?

[PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates]

DH and I both teach - me part-time SLT and him full-time headteacher, which I mention only to explain that we are in jobs with almost zero flexibility in term time.

We have two primary-age DC, one of whom has some SEN and health needs. We use a brilliant childminder for wraparound care. Grandparents are very very supportive but 100+ miles away on both sides, so although they are very happy to help with planned childcare they can’t help with emergencies.

I have the opportunity to go for a new role but realistically to make it work we would need an extra element to our childcare, which I’m not sure exists - hence this post. We would need someone who would be willing to be available to pick up the children if, for example, they were unexpectedly unwell in school or to care for them on an ad hoc basis if they were poorly. I imagine we’d have to pay some kind of retainer and then an hourly / daily rate for any care provided?

Does such a thing exist? Most of my friends have grandparents locally enough not to need to pay for this kind of support. Another friend has a similar arrangement with a nanny / housekeeper but we can’t afford this.

I think this is why one parent’s career stagnates tbh. And that you are right, there is no good answer.
i have a teaching friend whose ex did ask me once to have their son on a day when I was home w my baby, when their son was being sick everywhere (was his day to have the son but he was Too Important to stay at home). Was awful as I didn’t want to screw my friend about, but nor could I manage him and baby.
Which is to say - ill children need to be at home, w their own carer: parent, nanny, relative. Not a role for a childminder.
If it’s a job you really want then I think I’d try to find several options - nannies who have after school jobs, students, other babysitters, maybe an emergency agency. Agree what you’ll pay if they work - prob twice the going rate - and agree that they can always say no.
I reckon if you need to pick an ill child from
school though, that’s a hard one to sub out (other than to close friends) as nobody knows how ill child is…

DH is a HT. I'm lucky that I can be flexible in my work.

Realistically with two teachers you need a nanny.

Yes, this is much like what we do now. However it isn’t infallible. My parents are ageing and my mother is losing her sight. PILs are younger but MIL does not drive. They do a lot to help SIL as well as having other commitments.

Ps agreed that teachers can and do have time off with sick kids. You don't stop being a parent just because you are a teacher!

My DC teacher took today off to attend a ceremonial event for her child. My sibling took time off last term with a vomiting child.

A school that can't facilitate a teacher having to go and collect a sick child (it shouldnt happen that often) is poorly managed.

How I've seen it managed is:

• schools have a floating ppa cover person who can fill in
• a HLTA can cover in an emergency
• I've seen the head teacher take a class in an emergency
• I've also seen a school who had a part time teacher who didnt mind being asked to fill in the odd extra day here and there.

Which is to say - ill children need to be at home, w their own carer: parent, nanny, relative. Not a role for a childminder

My DC have been with the same childminder since they were 1. They know her far better than their grandparents. Her house is a familiar happy place for them. Why is a nanny or relative better?

People are so snobby about childminders.

I had this type of arrangement with another family who lived nearby. I was a single parent working from home and lived a few minutes from the DC's schools. The other mom and dad both worked 45 minutes away from the schools in somewhat unflexible jobs. Most of the time I was doing the daytime emergency pickups from school, but it was easy for me as I was nearby with flexible hours. In return it was very reassuring to know that I had backup to look after my dd for the many overnight hospital stays that my ds had. We had this arrangement all the way through from elementary school through high school. And ironically now our two youngest are at the same university, so could even utilize the arrangement there if we needed!

PS. Both my DC's and the other family's DS had significant health issues and SEN that resulted in an anticipation of more frequent "emergencies" than a NT family.

I know it is much harder post-Brexit, but as a single parent DHT I had au pairs. It meant I had someone else living in the house, but always had emergency childcare.

When my husband and I were both shift workers we employed a nanny and that worked out perfectly.

I think the answer is no unless you can afford to pay a nanny housekeeper who will for the vast majority of time have an easy role. I have faced this and agree that it is helpful to have built up goodwill. However you can do this again in a new role. In all honesty it depends how much money you have to chuck at it.

au pair?

iif you have the room? doubles up as a very light housekeeper but there for emergancies?

might work well having someone there for the kids after school? as well as someone to call on emergancies until your parents get there?

Of course teaching staff and SLT can take emergency leave? What a ridiculous idea! It's not ideal and actual rarely happens that much!

Im SLT and have had to take emergency leave as have other members of SLT including the headteacher!! It might be unpaid but it's certainly not frowned upon as long as it's shared between parents!

It is very rare we have to take time off for our children and my in laws have driven over 100 miles to help us!

Honestly don't worry, you will be fine-good luck with the new job!

We both have inflexible jobs too, no family help and two children with SEN. If one is I'll we have found the best solution is to work half days each as far as possible (though appreciate this doesn't help if you are meant to be working a long way away! My school starts at 8.30 so if I leave at 1 I only miss 1.5 lessons and my DH can start at 2 and work til 6. (He is not a teacher though similarly inflexible)

With respect, have you spent any time in secondary schools over the last two winters?

When I joined my school eight years ago there were three full-time cover supervisors on the staff. Due to funding issues the two who have left haven’t been replaced. We now have one and she is being used every period, every day.

We do not have HLTAs. TAs can’t be asked to cover whole classes.

The headteacher has stepped in to cover my lesson when I had to leave in an emergency.

We have recently retired teachers who live locally and do ad hoc supply but can’t generally make themselves available in the middle of the day.

If I have to be off then I have to be off but I have the benefit of eight years of goodwill in my current role. I am not prepared to give this up lightly and so I am considering contingencies if I were to go for a new role.

It seems like an au pair could be an answer, especially if you had light hours for them generally. It also seems like whole it’s not ideal for a sick child to wait an hour at school it’s not the end of the world. I didn’t grow up in UK but the schools I went to had a proper nurses office with curtained beds, I definitely spent an hour+ there.

Consider employing a Mother's Help on a regular basis,term time only, to work say 3 hours a day,4 days a week at £10 per hour. £120 per week. Housekeeping/childcare as necessary. This would keep you below the threshold at which you would have to pay employer NI contributions and could well suit another local parent. You would have to judge what hours. Perhaps 10am to 1pm,Tuesday - Friday would catch most of the emergency calls from your children's schools. It would also benefit you with cleaning help too.

Our childminder does exactly this for us. She is, however, officially a nanny as she only covers DC from two families. But we pay as though the DC are full time even though they’re at school so whilst we’ll worth it you it’s not cheap.

I missed this little gem. I’ve spent twenty years ‘helping the profession’. I now have a son with an EHCP at the age of four who has also picked up every bug going over the last winter. Multiple d&v bugs which meant three days off minimum because we respect the 48 hour rule, and endless colds which went onto his chest requiring PCRs to rule out Covid and lately hospital stays on O2 and nebulisers. I’d like to take an onward step in my career but I need to be realistic and potentially a bit creative in how DH and I manage this.

What about finding a regular babysitter or two on sitters.co.uk and then finding out their ad hoc availability? Or nursery staff your kids had when they were at nursery? Or a grandma nearby if you put an ad on a neighbourhood Facebook group or similar?

We were in this situation, no family support and both worked FT. I found a brilliant after school nanny on care.com. She picked the children up from school, would take them to their various activities and make their dinner. We couldn’t have managed without her, the flexibility meant neither of us had to compromise our hours and the kids were happier being in their own home rather than a childminder. Could you look at something like that?

Many health care workers are similar, especially Dr's on call. Of which I know several! How they manage it is either a live in au pair, or a wrap around or nanny they pay a small amount of extra to, to be on call. A friend who is a single parent surgeon has a nanny for 6-9 am and 3-7 pm, but she pays an extra I think 150/week for nanny to be on call for sickness and emergencies. The nanny also works full time in the holidays. She got this idea from a ward Sister who was a single parent. It's worked very well for her. Others I know have au pairs.

There are lots of people in this situation inside & outside of education.

I live in the US where people are a lot more resourceful with childcare, out of necessity, really. There are always people looking for a bit of help to get the kids to the bus, or over the summer holidays. I’m a SAHM and would do something like what you’re looking for. I would charge a nominal “on call” fee and then an hourly fee if I was needed. I’m not sure how this would work in the UK given that there are more regulations, but it might be an idea to ask around to see if friends know someone who might be interested.

I don't get why teachers aren't allowed dependents leave? The school just has to deal with it?

They don't not allow it, but any teacher absence is v difficult to cover.

Your job should give you a certain number of paid childcare days. I get 5 and so does my husband.
It's really hard for strangers to look after ill little ones and unsettling for the little ones.