To think that people are becoming ruder?

[dragonfruittie]

I've had a bad week - a mix of stress at work, family, marriage etc alongside AF. Maybe it's because of this that I've felt close to tears at people's rudeness towards me this week. Is it just me or are people getting worse?? I live in a small town in the south east that is usually very friendly.

For instance: we have a little 6 month pup who we're trying to train well and socialise, but he can still be quite yappy & boisterous. At a large outdoor pub garden with spaced out tables this weekend, I got such horrible looks and tutting / head shaking from people as I carried him away because he was barking at another dog. Later on, I dropped a bag of shopping on the floor whilst by myself and onions were rolling around etc and no one stopped to help at all, just stepped over the onions. Whilst leaving a coffee shop, I asked "excuse me" politely with a smile to a woman with a pram blocking the door, she just stared at me and I had to edge around her - and there was plenty of room for her to move to!! I witnessed a young couple being incredibly rude to a waiter when he forgot to bring something. On a walk to the park with puppy, I got a "control your dog - my baby will be scared" from a woman whose toddler was giggling & pointing at the pup and he was yapping at in excitement (context on this - he was on a short lead, nowhere near the family, he's the size of a small cat, of course I understand this might be scary to some, but we all have the right to use a public park).

I actually embarrassingly burst into tears when an old woman saw this last encounter, smiled and told me "the little dogs are hard work aren't they!" because I so appreciated the kindness. I'm sure I'm overreacting but has anyone else noticed increasing rudeness?

@Giraffesandbottoms but dog friendly beaches are big open spaces. There's generally plenty of space to move away from the yappy dog and people are generally more distanced naturally

@girlmom21

yes I see that but equally if you’re at a beach hut or you’ve set up everything with children and all that entails it’s a bit of a pain to move because someone has an annoying dog - they should move! 🤪

@Giraffesandbottoms I do agree they should move when their out of control animal is ruining other peoples activities, to be fair

I think that waiting staff should be told that if a customer becomes aggressive in that way they can walk away, getting someone more senior to deal with them.

I’m not a fan of dogs , so my opinion would be affected by that and I’d certainly prefer they weren’t yapping in a pub garden, or on a beach come to that. There are so many more dogs since lockdown and some owners who haven’t the first idea how to care for them. I’m not including OP in that comment.

I just think people have become more intolerant and selfish over the last two years. Things we would have done or not done before the pandemic have changed so much. Small things, many of them, but cumulatively, they become annoying. Things like walking two or three abreast on the pavement, so others have to walk in the road. Driving courtesy has pretty much disappeared. Everyone’s looking out for themselves these days.

Asking a woman to move her pram so you can get past is a bit rude...if there was enough space to get around her, you should have just done that! Same with people with heavy suitcases, using a walking frame...general manners is that the person who is least encumbered should be the one to go out of their way to get past.

The woman was blocking the doorway

I’ve worked for the same company for the last few years and we were talking yesterday about how rude customers are now compared to a couple of years ago.

We had someone in yesterday who had broken something and wanted to see if we could fix it. They were so rude the whole time they were there, bearing in mind, it was their own fault and we were trying to do them a favour, they then started shouting at my colleague when he explained that we could fix it, but needed a part and couldn’t fit them in for a couple of weeks . My boss chucked them out and refused the job.

We had a woman turn up 2 hours early for an appointment and scream blue murder because the person she was there to see was already with another customer. Another one screaming and shouting because something wouldn’t work how she wanted it to when we’d told her on several occasions that it wouldn’t but she’d insisted. People are rude and aggressive on the phone and speak to us all like shit.

We are ridiculously busy, and booked up for months so have started to be a bit picky. If they’re an arsehole on the phone, they’re going to be a nightmare to deal with the whole way through, and who needs that shit?

We had someone complaining that he couldn’t get anyone to do a small job for him - within about 15 minutes it was apparent why - he was rude, unpleasant, sexist and aggressive.

How these people expect to get any kind of service is beyond me. We’ll go out of our way to help people where we can, but my boss just won’t tolerate rudeness or aggression

ironically I got through 2 years of covid without any issues, arguments, or even tuts when shopping, out and about, etc but all the twats seem to have come out of the woodwork since! Just now was in the supermarket and the guy behind me started making passive aggressive comments about not letting him go in front of me. Particularly annoying as I always do let people go in front if they only have a few things, but usually when we're both in the queue waiting, not when the cashier has reached out to start scanning my stuff and he's just literally just rocked up. I didn't even notice how much stuff he had until he started moaning.

Also SO MANY people who don't acknowledge when you pull in/let them through when driving, or who barge past despite it being your right of way....

Also SO MANY people who don't acknowledge when you pull in/let them through when driving, or who barge past despite it being your right of way....

This one I ascribe to immigrants 😁 As in, many people who live in the UK now learned to drive outside the UK where rights of way at stop signs and junctions are different (as I’ve discovered when driving in Michigan) and that little “fingers slightly raised from the steering wheel” hand wave of thanks you give in the UK isn’t a thing (and also isn’t in the Highway Code, so not something you’d realise was the norm unless you’d grown up with it.)

I agree. People are becoming ruder, more ignorant and less tolerant. Society is on a downward trajectory in this country.

Yeah I've noticed this a bit too. I don't know if it was just because I was away from people during lockdown and forgot what people are like, but I do notice it more lately. Most notably when driving, it has always been an issue but I'm finding drivers more aggressive than ever recently, and I'm not a timid driver myself.
I have to assume it is a knock-on effect of the pandemic followed by increase in cost of living. It is affecting almost everyone in some way now, so people are likely to be less patient.

You know you're getting old when you imagine a bygone age that didn't exist.

No, people aren't any ruder. You're just getting less young.

I agree with you OP. As is clearly evident from certain individuals replying to you here! Rude, unkind, impatient...definitely has got worse since the pandemic. There are much nicer ways to say things but it seems that some people think they have the right to say it as rudely as possible, which isn't necessary.

Or... there was always this level of innate rudeness. Now we just have the internet as a vehicle.

I remember laddism of the 90s, yuppie culture of the 80s. It wasn't any better, I promise.

Perhaps OP was concerned that 'edging around the pushchair' would cause some bumping and then spilling some of her (maybe boiling hot) coffee onto said pram/baby? I could just imagine the furore if that were to happen especially if OP didn't bother to ask the pram owner to move it! OP seemed to have asked the pram owner to move the pram to avoid such a thing happening. Therefore being considerate? She's damned if she did, damned if she didn't really.

100% agree.

Thank god animals aren't allowed in 99% of pubs/restaurants/cafes etc where I live.

At a large outdoor pub garden with spaced out tables this weekend, I got such horrible looks and tutting / head shaking from people as I carried him away because he was barking at another dog

The irony that you can't see how rude YOU were in this situation is incredible.