To ask why you’re still awake at 12.30am

[Organictangerine]

Me, I’m struggling to drop off, perhaps because it’s full moon 🌕 but may also be because of the long afternoon nap I had

4am and I'm awake with DD who has just recovered from chicken pox but has picked up a horrible chest cold from my eldest who also went through the same process. I've not slept a proper night in well over a month. Am absolutely dead on my feet

@Chocolatethief
If you're generally anxious about things try skullcap herb, I honestly couldn't do most things without it. Helps you sleep as well....The irony of me saying that at 4am is not lost on me..
Talk to them straight away when you get to there they'll be used to some women being terrified.
If it becomes a thing it is possible to have the examination under anesthetic.
Six years ago I first read that they can detect cervical cancer with blood tests, the sooner we get them the better.
Please try to get some skullcap (American not Chinese)

Thank you I will, have been raped in the past so the idea of someone there is terrifying but I know its important and a blood test would so much better, I also read some things about not needing as many smear tests when you have had the hpv vaccine but doubt I will still be having them by the time they know for sure.

4.09am and still not slept. My sleep pattern is screwed up. I'll sleep after the school run. It's very unhealthy but I'm stuck in a rut :(

Weather has hopefully passed over and dog is settling again hopefully. Poor old devil.....

Wide awake because I fell asleep too early and currently have a warm furry beast pressed up against my back trying to cuddle me & it's far too hot!! (It's a dog, not my DH).

Exactly the same for me, quite a lot of women that are terrified of the tests have been sexually abused/raped in the past. Feel free to pm me anytime today if you need to, look after yourself x

I've been up all night with a poorly DC. Hope everyone gets some sleep.

I'm with you ... my 2nd DC came down with the pox after my 1st passed it on 😩 haven't slept in a month 😂. What even is sleep

I never sleep because i dont know how or when i will see my baby again

Toothache!

Because it’s not actually dark yet for me.

I’m so sorry. Do you want to talk about your baby?

I have 3 boys 19, 13 and 5. My wife left me mid last year with the baby and left me and my 13 year old at home. my 19 year old lives with his girlfriend. She came back with the baby for christmas and then left me and my 13 year old again on boxing day. I didnt take it well the first time and then second time it crushed me and i lost my job in january because i was messing up in work because of it all. then i couldnt take it anymore and done something daft in february and now she wont let me see the baby anymore and its been months and i dont know what to do because i know shes not a bad mum or a bad person and im trying to be patient but its ruining me. sorry for the rant

@DesperateDad81
Sorry that sounds horrific, does that mean she hasn't seen the 13 year old? Is he/she still with you?
There are lots of solicitors that give out free advice on family law over the phone, many will have a free half hour meeting with you.
You need to get some advice re access. I'm assuming the "something daft" wasn't violence on your part as she's left you with the 13 year old.
If that's so she can't just take your five year old away from you she has to allow you access.

Night shift, sat with a poorly resident.

Ive never stopped her access to my 13 year old and after the "something daft" which was harming me and nobody else she took him too and she has never stopped him seeing me because he would see me whatever she said. I tried turning up at the school before and after school just to see him for 5 minutes but then the school got involved and i cant do that anymore. I darent go to her house just incase she phones the police. Social Services are involved now and do not give a care in the world about dads that want to see their kids. Like i said im not blaming her, ive obviously not gone about things in the right way, but ive acted out of desperation and grief. Nobody gets that though

Thank you the appointment is at 8 so at least I don't have to much longer to stress about it

I am wide awake at 5.00am. Had a long day yesterday. Up at 6.00. Had to get my MIL up, washed, fed and off to a care home so we could have our first weeks holiday in 3 years. Got to Manchester airport with plenty of time to spare after reports of horrendous queues at check in and security. 30 mins after arrival we were through all of that and in duty free with 4 hours to spend. Looked at all the overpriced tat in the shops, queued up to buy a dry, overpriced cheese and ham roll. Meandered about, read the paper, and eventually went to our gate where we sat watching everyone else queue up to get on the plane. About 20 minutes in, 3 police turned up looking for someone in the queue. Found him, arrested him, and left his partner in the queue with their toddler and push chair. Got on the plane and then had to wait for over an hour, while they found and removed the toerags luggage from the hold. Finally got to the hotel at around midnight. They have a Nespresso machine in the room, which I hadn't used before due to the unnecessary pollution caused by the pods, but as the reviews on trip adviser have lots of complaints about the hotel charging €2 per pod used, we came armed with a couple of boxed of Aldi coffee pods, at about €2 for 10, which not only saves money but also does not put money into Nestles coffers. Tested the machine. Quite impressed, but am now laying here writing this crap instead of sleeping. Still, I shall get up for sunrise over the marina. I think today will be a dozing on sunbed type of day.

@Chocolatethief thinking of you. I had my first last week after cancelling repeatedly for the same reasons- it really wasn’t that bad at all, though I did cry a lot afterwards because feelings. Please be very kind & gentle to yourself afterwards. I played a lot of Tetris because there’s studies that show it helps with PTSD in an EMDR-like way, and if not, it gives you something to do besides overthink!

I managed it and then treated myself to costa afterwards as a pick me up. I will give tetris a go thats really interesting. Thank you

So so pleased & proud of you. Really glad you went through with it!

Thank you. I managed to get a fairly decent sleep altho weirdly exhausted, she slept it off

Well done ! The day I aged out of smears, I drank champagne but you are much braver than I had to be