I weigh 16.5 stone 🙁

[LadyintoGaddings]

I’m a size 22, I’m 5’7.

I have zero motivation and I like food too much.

I’ve got a 3.5 year old and I’ve no energy most days as he’s very hard work.

I also have ADHD so I struggle to prioritise and plan healthy meals etc.

I live in Italy and everyone eats pasta but it's rare to see an overweight Italian (at least where I live). Pasta is served like a starter or side dish here, so the portions are smaller and they typically aren't served with super creamy sauces. I'm doing weight watchers to lose baby weight (highly, highly recommend the app by the way!). However prior to having my baby, I ate pasta every single day and I always maintained my weight (I'm not someone who can eat whatever they want and stay slim either). So you can still have pasta but no more that a cereal bowl worth, and have it with meat and veg/salad. If you struggle to find the energy to cook extra, just stick chicken breasts in the oven in a bit of tinfoil. Tinned/frozen veg is fine and can be pinged in the microwave if you feel daunted by the prep.

It's hard to advise without a view of what your current diet really looks like. You say you mostly eat pasta because that's what your ds eats - tbh mostly eating pasta probably isn't great for your ds either!

Best advice is probably to cut out sugar and highly processed food as much as possible and focus on eating good protein, lots of veg and a bit of fruit. Avoid big piles of carbs. Don't do anything super-restrictive or you will fall off the wagon really quickly.

I'm going to be honest here, if you want to lose weight, get fitter and healthier you need to ditch all the excuses - as valid as they may be and get moving.

People who look after their physique do so with hard work and dedication. It doesn't come easy.

Youtube has plenty of HIIT workouts, about 20 mins, aim for 3 a week. If I were you though, with ADHD, I would try something for 20 mins every day, yoga, take the kid out and run about, anything where your heart rate is up. Reason being, it'll be easier to get into a habit. When you do your 20 mins, plan your next 20 mins.

Exercise is great for ADHD, but YOU have to do the work.

There’s a million ways to lose weight and only you know the one that will stick for you- I tried everything! What worked for me was-
-logging everything in MyFitnessPal
-having a decent amount of calories 1700 rather than 1200 and giving up
-lots of protein to keep full
-scheduling exercise and doing it- don’t think about going it’s scheduled so your going and that’s that (I found by exercising it made me want to eat less as I knew how hard 100 calories is to burn!)
-look at the quantity of food that the calories give you, chicken with spices on potatoes and broccoli you can eat loads of whereas with breaded chicken, oven chips it’s not so much and I’d be starving

good luck!

Exercise is great and important and will help, but weight loss is mostly about food.

3.5yo is the issue here. When you’re tired and unhappy it’s very difficult to watch what you eat. You’re exhausted so you reach for snacks to provide energy (and often emotional support as well). Mine had started school before I felt able to diet.

Can you join a slimming world group? There are men and women in my group who had a similar starting point to you and are now a healthy weight. I know lots of MNers slate SW but it works for me, and our group doesn't encourage any of the weird tricks/shortcuts - it's really just eating a lot more veg and healthy protein, and a lot of encouragement.

If exercise is an issue for you, try Lilly Sabri on YouTube.

She's a British exercise vlogger and as someone who is extremely disinterested in workouts, I really enjoy hers.

She has a warm up and full body workout that total about 16 minutes and are very manageable even if you're very overweight.

She allows 30 seconds between moves so you're not flailing about trying to get the hang of them, includes a demo of more basic versions and a timer so you know how long you have left.

I always find that she moves on/finishes just as I'm thinking I've had enough so that works really well for me, and I often end up doing an extra short video because I'm enjoying myself! Her music choices are pretty good too and she had a very cute dog that sometimes joins in which makes it all seem less of a chore.

Are you in the persuit of thinness, or are you in the persuit of health? Those are two different goals with different steps to achieve them.

A lot of posters are also missing the incredible impact that adhd can have on eating. I'd recommend trying to heal your relationship with food, and adding in as much nutritious food as possible, rather than creating more rules and limiting what you're 'allowed' to eat.

I think where weight loss is concerned, you have to want to do it, even if it means missing out on the food that you love.

I've recently dropped a several pounds after realising that I'd gone up a couple of dress sizes and my stomach was getting bigger and bigger. when I weighed in at the beginning, I was about a stone heavier than I have ever been before (I'm 47), so looking to shift that and get back to ideal weight of around 11.5 stone (I'm 5'9").

For me, the shock of realising how heavy I had got was what made me start doing the 5:2 diet which I've done before and had success with. Weight started coming off more or less immediately and that has motivated me to keep going. Now, my clothes fit better and my stomach is getting flatter. I'm five weeks in now and today is a fasting day, but honestly, it's fine. On normal eating days, I am being more mindful about what I eat (no snacks for example), but I'm still eating things I like and I now prefer not feeling stuffed after a heavy meal (because I'm cutting down on carbs mainly). Again, for me, the pay off is worth the sacrifice and now the sacrifice doesn't really feel like much at all...

Is there anything that could give yo that push, OP?

I wonder if you could get your fix from seeing the weight come off? if you can get started on a diet and then do daily weigh ins, the weight loss might motivate you?

Don’t skip meals, that’s a ridiculous suggestion and will lead to failure. I weighed 17 stone 9 at my heaviest a few years ago and was seriously depressed. Same height as you, I was a size 18/20. I lost 7 stone in a year and was a size 10 in the end. You have to really want to change your life to succeed, it does take a lot of motivation. For me, I was just tired of hating the way I looked to such an extent I barely left the house and I hated not having energy to run around with my DC.

I did it by always planning my meals, cutting my portion sizes, using my fitness pal to track calories, drinking a lot of water and I exercised A LOT. To begin with I just run laps around my back garden because I was to embarrassed to do anything anyone would see. I also did yoga and HIIT videos on YouTube. The weight just flew off tbh and I felt amazing in the end.

You can do it if you really want it, it isn’t impossible. You just have to be dedicated and don’t beat yourself up if you have a bad day.

@newnamenellie I think that’s a good point. I get a buzz from logging calories and staying within them. And from fitting into clothes

Never say 'diet' or 'restrict'. You are going to choose something 'different' or 'healthier'. As others have said, start the exercise off in small steps. Once you begin to see the weight coming off, your motivation should increase, and you will probably feel like you have more energy.

Don't feel like you have 'ruined it all' if you have a day when you eat more than you should or even a day when you may binge. Just remember things take time, and there will be ups and downs,

You can do this. In fact, you are doing this!

I ordered food from Janes Plan a while ago. I didn’t stick with it but it was a real wake up call in terms of calories and portion size.
What I decided to do was cook healthy meals and then portion them into take away containers and freeze them. I weighed out cereal portions in the morning (50g). Then had soup for lunch or a salad, no carbs. Lots of veg or salad with dinner. It really worked .

That seems like a lot of calories for a weight loss program? Has a dietician told you do that?

It sounds right. Im losing on 2138 cals and am
around a size 14 now but I’m tall. It’s much better to eat the maximum calories you can to remain in a deficit of around 500 calories a day and lose weight slowly than to restrict so much it’s hard to stick to.

OP - Can you post a typical day’s eating so we can give you some advice/tips/swaps?

I should have mentioned that the Fast800 kick started my weight loss journey. It's not a permanent diet but I like that I seen quick results and that provided further motivation.

Another very important thing. When you fall off the wagon, accept it, don't think, oh well I'm rubbish. You accept it then quickly get over it, and get back on it. We all have start stops.

I’m 1750 to lose and a size 12. Do a few TDEE calculators. Plucking 1200 out of thin air is recipe for disaster you’ll never stick to it and binge.
I find podcasts good for motivation. I listen to Slimming world one but it’s not just for that diet. It’s 2 women in their 40s and a chatty style.
There are so many options. For years I’d half heartedly look at diets, get books and not start. Whatever you chose someone will say it’s wrong way. For me I just needed to pick something and do it. Agree in your head you’ll give it 6 weeks.
I focused on healthy food so I felt better pretty much straight away. That gave me motivation to stick to it. Plus it came off quickly at first as I was obese like Op. That is very motivating. Good luck.

Thank you, that makes sense!

To be honest, I was amazed too @Bunce1 🤣

But at last a benefit of being strapping. 😃

Deprivation will never work.

You need to eat MORE, not less. Eat MORE veggies, MORE fruit. MORE water.

I find when I emotionally want to eat, I treat myself to a nice boujie fruit salad and yoghurt or a steak salad. Think of some alternatives that you would enjoy.

Also, toddlers are exhausting no matter your weight! xx

OP do you want to lose fat or do you want to continue enjoying as much food as you want, whenever you want. Choose then prioritize.

Losing weight sucks as you have to eat less and eat healthier, but it is what it is, we all have to suck it up and do it if that's our goal. If it was easy noone would would be over a size 10.

Don't bother meal prepping either. First just halve the amount of everything you're eating. After you get results from that, kick off a bit of exercise. Then cut out alcohol and takeaways. Then up the exercise a bit more. Voila, you get enough results to feel motivated enough to continue.

You are probably addicted to sugar or fat though which in the first couple of weeks might make it a lot harder but once you get over that it will be a lot easier.

Intermittent fasting doesn't have to mean going without food all day. On fast days, I have two weetabix for breakfast, a green salad for lunch then a smaller version of a normal meal for dinner. I even have a small biscuit before bed! I do get hungry but it doesn't bother me much now as it's short term. It really is a very effective way of kick starting weight loss and then it just becomes 'normal'...