Comments about red hair

[37anddone]

I have been getting a lot of comments about the ‘risk’ of my child having red hair (I’m currently pregnant).

The suggestion seems to be this would be a negative outcome, and something I need to brace myself for.

I personally think ridiculing my child’s appearance before they have actually been born is a bit much.

AIBU to tell them precisely what I think about their comments, irrespective of the fallout that may cause.

My dad was born in the 1950s with bright red hair, and apparently was carried around the hospital so everyone could admire it!

I also have red hair, and was bullied about it as a child though like a pp adults always told me it was beautiful, so I think on some level I recognised this.

I am now very happy to have red hair (though a bit sad about starting to get some gray!) None of my children have inherited it, and my daughter has said she wishes she had.

I'm surprised people are so against it - red haired kids I know of seem to get lots of compliments!

I am a red head and have red headed children.

There are lots of compliments but also many,many insults.
Had it all the way through school and even in the board room.

My children also experience this, I recently had to intervene for my eldest as a group of children were complaining that they shouldn't have to speak to or share a room with a ginger.

It's vile and it does seem to be something even adults are perfectly happy to be insulting and derogatory about.

I used to get this when my daughter's hair was more ginger than the auburn it's settled into. Ironically it was from her dad's family WHO ARE ALL GINGER. They said it like it was a bad thing and I don't get it. I used to go with "well what did you expect? She has the same colouring as her dad" or "yes she does and I'm sick of hearing 'she's got red hair but I like it' - why BUT? Her hair is lovely". If you confront it they usually shut up. Funnily enough my Nana had auburn hair so when they decided to stop making stupid comments and tried to take the credit for it I said "she gets it from my Nana" 🙃 I'm pregnant again now and I keep getting told by everyone that they hope it's a boy. People just say stupid things about babies but you don't have to accept it

@37anddone I had this with both pregnancies as my DH has red hair.

I answered every comment "I absolutely DO hope the baby is a redhead, I bloody love a ginger". People soon changed tack then.

I read that ginger sperm donors were in such low demand from women that most places in the UK no longer take ginger men. I'm unsure how true that is, but will post the article if I can find it.

That just shows the ignorance about how red hair is inherited. It's a recessive trait - BOTH parents need to carry the red headed gene, and even then it's a 25% chance your child will not have red hair.

I do not have red hair. My parents and sibling do not have red hair. But I do have a cousin with red hair so there is obviously red hair on my father's side of the family.

"ginger-ism" is no more acceptable than racism, sexism, or any other -ism. It's discriminating purely on a characteristic the individual has no control over, like their skin colour or sex.

Only read your original post but it seems to be age related. Dd 15 has red, curly hair and never had any meaness about it from other kids. (We're in South london) I've only ever heard of adults seeing it as an issue, maybe from when they were kids. Kids nowadays seem more tolerant generally. Well they do where we are. Can't speak for other areas.

Yanbu.

I've never understood the whole ginger comments thing. Red hair is beautiful.

My Dad and brother, and uncle ( Dads brother) have red hair. On my mums side my cousin does too, but my mum says she's not 100% that her brother is the father of that child 😬 Anyway I don't have red hair and I really did expect my kids to have it, but no both blonde like me. It's quite interesting really.

YANBU.
Did you know,there is even a book called'nobody loves a ginger baby'

I think generally it's seen as more beautiful on girls. My ginger brother as a child was very freckley and did get teased a lot sadly. It's not noticeable now as an adult. But he has said it's very hard dating as a red head online as it's all on one pic initially.

My family have a split heritage of Persian and Irish. As a result we seem to have an almost 50/50 divide of striking red heads and dark skin/hair regardless of the other parents looks. Over the years I’ve noticed that poor , deprived areas still seem to hold quite a lot of colour discrimination be it red hair or ethnicity based. We live in a posh bit now and my son gets nothing but compliments. My nieces and nephews who are older were always primed to say ‘ I’d rather be ginger than thick ‘ or ‘thanks for noticing , I hadn’t ‘ but they were quite ballsy kids There’s a lot of artistic talent , musicians , painters and actors in our ginger kids, they’re very beautiful and they know it. You can’t control what a thick person in a bus stop shouts out to a kid , but you can set them up to pity that person for being a moron and not take it to heart.

My ex's sister told me (a red head) that if she knew she was having a ginger baby she'd have an abortion. I'm in Scotland. Anti-ginger nonsense is linked to sectarianism and anti-catholic bullshit.

My gran dislikes red heads - she says they have ‘a bad spirit in them’. Ridiculous! But then she is generally quite racist too.
My husband is a red head (though it’s a browny red rather than carrot top). We’re expecting our first child, which is a girl. I have to admit, I feel quite positive about the idea of a girl being red headed but would have worried about a boy as I remember how much they were bullied at school.

Kids. Radio presenters. People. DS had a bit of flack at school but is a chippy, witty chap and weathered it.

But when I heard one of our local radio presenters made a comment along the lines of 'at least he isn't ginger' I wrote in to complain. Only to have a reply that he wasn't being serious . Idiot.

We have friends who are married and both have red hair. Their kids have beautiful red hair and the parents just joke along about it. They really couldn't care less and why should they. I dye my hair red so would love to have natural red hair

Lots of red hair on my dad's side of the family. It skipped our generation. My dad was hoping for for red head grandchildren but sadly missed the next generation as well 😭😭

When I was born the midwife said "the good news it's it's a girl, the bad news is she's a redhead"
Yeah, thanks

A couple of years ago my son was slapped across the back of his head in a city centre department store just because of hair colour !

We all have red hair - mum was blonde and dad had black hair. Mum loved our hair (even dyed hers red once).

I remember someone taking the piss once when I was little (some ned from the local high school - they always bullies us little kids and I didn’t know what he meant) and one arse tried tried it a few years back in Leicester Square.

I was walking through with DH and some drunk a-hole decided to make a ‘worry comment’s poor DH didn’t hear him and was really shocked that I wheeled around and went full banshee on him (DH said that he thought I was going to do him an injury). The ‘big man’ actually ran away. He was a bloody adult in a work suit (so not a kid).

Got more shit from wearing glasses. I’d much rather have red hair than mousy brown.

My granddaughter has been in so much troulgle st school lately, dueto her desperation to be a redhead😆
Everyone wants what they can't have, even six year old.

To ALL of our family, being a redhead is a positive bonus😁

Oh Lord, for an edit button!
Trouble at school lately......!

If you ask them, I bet this is not actually true.

i am in my mid 40s and have fairly spectacular long curly red hair (the rest of me isn’t spectacular unfortunately). I get an even mix of “your hair is amazing”, and “your mum should have aborted you”. The latter generally shouted by drunk middle aged men in the street, but a particular highlight was an elderly Nigerian man trying to exorcise me on the 45 bus one morning. All redheads are demons, apparently.

in the same way that men don’t really understand the level of low level sexual harassment that women experience, non-redheads don’t realise the constant drip-drip of anti-redhead nonsense.

My daughter has dark red (auburn) hair and a couple times she's been singled out by other red heads as a 'fellow ginger' in a companiable way. She only gets compliments, but it's not bright red like some. I love redheads.
Shame that people hold on to such discrimination.

As someone who grew up outside of the UK I have to say the strange obsession with commenting on or teasing redheads is honestly, plainly bizarre. I just don't fucking get it. When I hear comments about 'gingers' etc I make a point to be confused (because I really am) and ask what the joke means, to the point the person usually realises there is no actual punchline and shuts up.

Yanbu

Wherever we went on holiday there would generally be such a fuss by the crown of red haired girls. People would compliment it (squint at my blonde and black haired parents) but it was positive. Especially when Sarah Ferguson was initially on the scene 😆