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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this annoy you and would you tell them not to bother coming?

88 replies

AlternativelyWired · 15/05/2022 10:27

Arrangements made a few days ago for someone to visit today at a certain time. I checked this morning an hour before they were due that they were still coming. They eventually replied to say they'd only just got up and could no longer get a lift and would see what happened. I asked them to let me know within the next hour and they haven't even read the message and the hour has now passed. I'm planning to just get on with my day. WIBU to think they aren't coming and are very rude?They have form for this and I'm very grumpy today and not in the mood for their belief that the world will wait for them.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 15/05/2022 14:25

I'd either be out, or not answering the door.

CheshireCats · 15/05/2022 14:31

I feel like this is a relative... is there a back story here?

LookItsMeAgain · 15/05/2022 14:39

I'd go out today. You could leave a note sellotaped to your door and say in the note that you texted X number of times, got no response, could see that the texts were delivered but unread and you've gone out.

They will have one final opportunity to collect their 10 boxes of stuff that are now in your way and you will tell them to come and collect them on X day at Y time (when it suits you). If they don't collect the boxes, you'll arrange for them to be brought to the dump as they are in your way.

You could also put the contents of the note in a text message, just so you know that they have a copy of it and can't say they weren't warned.

coodawoodashooda · 15/05/2022 14:45

I feel stressed just thinking about this.

Original poster
AlternativelyWired · 15/05/2022 15:28

No back story, just me being fed up of being expected to dance to their tune.

OP posts:
KettrickenSmiled · 15/05/2022 15:35

Stop dancing, Wired. It's just an old habit with this person, which you no longer need.

newnamethanks · 15/05/2022 15:41

Go out for the day. Don't tell them, just go. Don't answer any texts or calls. Treat yourself to lunch somewhere nice, have some wine and a pudding too. Reflect on how pleasant it is that they aren't with you.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 15/05/2022 15:42

It's a parent isn't it?? Mine used to do the phoning repeatedly thing. DF even got into DBs apartment building and banged on his door until he answered at 7am on a Sunday because they hadn't spoken to him in 3 days and they were 'so worried something had happened to him'. Fucking ridiculous.

Send them a message OP and tell them their shit's on the drive, to come and get it, because if it's still there in the morning you'll drive the car over it. Wink

SeedyBloomer · 15/05/2022 15:47

YANBU. Tempting to put all of their boxes of crap outside the front door, text them to say it needs collecting AS AGREED and then go out, isn’t it? Rude.

Original poster
AlternativelyWired · 15/05/2022 16:10

All the boxes ARE outside. Hope it doesn't rain...

OP posts:
iheartmybeachhut · 15/05/2022 16:11

"Stuff is on the drive come and get it, bins collected tomorrow" [even if they aren't] Some charity shops BHF for one do pick ups from home.

iheartmybeachhut · 15/05/2022 16:12

What does it matter if it rains ? it's their stuff,if they don't collect after you've set the collect by time I'd slip the dust guys a drink to take it.

lemongreentea · 15/05/2022 16:15

Well done OP for standing up for yourself. Hppefully this will stop anymore of this nonsense from them.

Hollywolly1 · 15/05/2022 16:20

I'd get a courier to deliver their 10 boxes whatever the cost good riddance

itsgettingweird · 15/05/2022 16:44

Yanbu.

It's as rude as people saying they are free at X time and then when you suggest doing something say "I don't know what I'm going yet - I'll let you know"

NewandNotImproved · 15/05/2022 16:55

@Hollywolly1 well that would be utterly pathetic. Pay and source and arrange a courier to provide some gormless prick with stuff? 😄

StoneofDestiny · 15/05/2022 17:04

I'd have gone out and if they texted me, I'd have ignored it

Undecidedandtorn · 15/05/2022 17:06

SpringBadger · 15/05/2022 10:43

This is why I'm against the "are we still on for this morning?" texts. If someone wants to cancel, the onus should be on them to say so. The assumption should be that the plans still stand unless cancelled. No wonder you are so annoyed when you've ended up feeling responsible for herding this person from place to place.

OMG! I agree 100% - I have a friend that when I said this to they were all "you could have messaged me". I'm not the one who couldn't make it!

Original poster
AlternativelyWired · 15/05/2022 21:08

They turned up at 8pm, collected their stuff, muttered about me being manipulative and stuck their fingers up at the security camera. Give it a week or two and they'll be expecting tea and sympathy about their problems but the answer will be no.

OP posts:
allboysherebutme · 15/05/2022 22:19

I would have just messaged and said, I will catch up with you another time as I'm going to get on with other stuff now, don't want to hang around all day.
I bet they've gone back to bed. X

allboysherebutme · 15/05/2022 22:21

Take the stuff to charity. X

allboysherebutme · 15/05/2022 22:23

Sorry just saw the last message.
Don't be friends with them. X

dropthevipers · 15/05/2022 23:19

AlternativelyWired · 15/05/2022 21:08

They turned up at 8pm, collected their stuff, muttered about me being manipulative and stuck their fingers up at the security camera. Give it a week or two and they'll be expecting tea and sympathy about their problems but the answer will be no.

How old is this person-12?

Gingernaut · 15/05/2022 23:22

It would boil my piss no end.

My brother has a habit of giving me two days notice - he might pop up at the weekend.

This means clearing away the laundry and dryers and unfolding and making up a bed.

Only to be told Saturday morning he won't be coming up after all. 😡

Indigoo03 · 15/05/2022 23:47

You did the right thing!

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