Would this annoy you and would you tell them not to bother coming?

[AlternativelyWired]

Arrangements made a few days ago for someone to visit today at a certain time. I checked this morning an hour before they were due that they were still coming. They eventually replied to say they'd only just got up and could no longer get a lift and would see what happened. I asked them to let me know within the next hour and they haven't even read the message and the hour has now passed. I'm planning to just get on with my day. WIBU to think they aren't coming and are very rude?They have form for this and I'm very grumpy today and not in the mood for their belief that the world will wait for them.

I have so many people in my life who do this sort of shit (usually without children and don’t understand that arriving 1 hour late for lunch is very stressful if you have hungry little people) but actually now I have just started to be like “ok we are eating without you” or “oh well we are eating now as said so doesn’t work” or anything else because I no longer give a fuck if people are just late people they are hungover or just doing their own thing. One of my brothers is always late despite living 3 mins away. I actually had a professional appt with someone who was going to 90 fucking minutes late and had the audacity, when cancelled, to suggest charging me for cancelling and saying she was “flexible on time”. Good for you, I’m not!

They sound extremely annoying.

Get on with your day. Go out, if possible.

And repeat like grey rock that you won’t answer no caller ID calls, so please text, if they try that calling shit.

That would irritate me too . Get on with your day .

I wouldn’t chase, they sound awful. Go out if you were planning to or just don’t answer the door if they show up.

Assuming this is a relative and telling them to fuck off is too much hassle? They sound extremely annoying.

They sound unhinged. Please stop putting up with it.

Juat get on with your day and go out if needed.

If theyre not there within half an hour of the time they said they would, then just act as if theyre not coming and do other stuff

Yanbu. I’d just leave them to it and on future when they try to arrange something with you tell them you can tentatively agree but because they let you down so often, you’ll agree to alternative plans if they come up in the meantime and clash with it.

Absolutely this abs don't entertain. Them again

I don’t have time for this shit either. I have an old friend who does this. Makes plans for us to visit where you have to book it weeks in advance as she’s just so important and busy then she cancels the day before. She also says she’ll meet at a certain time and I’ll message to ask if we’re still on and she doesn’t respond until the time has passed.

Shes good value and fun when she makes an appearance but I don’t let it annoy me anymore. I usually have back up plans now or if she’s late I’ll just continue with my day and if she asks if I’m still around later, I say no as I’ve got on with my day (as I’m not making an effort to change my new plan to accommodate her).

She also needs to realise that she’s not the only one with a busy life, she’s not a celebrity where I will wait on tenterhooks hoping she’ll appear. I work FT in a demanding role with 2 kids. My time is also very valuable as is yours. Don’t let it wind you up, just don’t change existing plans to see them or wait around.

how old are they, how are they related to you?

That is incredibly entitled and rude of them.
I wouldn't be making plans with them again any time soon.

OP they sound extremely rude and ungrateful. I would tell them not to bother coming.

absolutely disgraceful behaviour

I've told them they aren't coming. They haven't even read my messages 😡

Don't let them in if they turn up anyway OP.

It's all very well telling the OP to "get on with her day and go out", what if she doesn't actually fancy going out and wants to chill at home as is her right?

Well done, you've done the right thing.

I've told them they aren't coming.

Well done. Now get on with the rest of your day, and don't give them another thought.

It's more annoying because they are the one who asked to see me today!

And asked me to get a load of stuff ready for them to collect. We are talking 10 boxes of stuff that are now in my way. I'm so fucking annoyed.

i have wasted so many hours waiting for people to turn up - it’s infuriating.

my sister is the worst - will make vague comments about when she will visit and just expect me to stay home all day.

I put my foot down about a year ago. It was a beautiful summer day and we made plans to go to the beach. She said she would collect me in the morning, that was how specific she would be with Ben when pressed. I was ready from 10am. She arrived at 2:30pm. I was so angry I wouldn’t go!

since then I tell her if she isn’t there by a certain time I will go about my day.

people need to understand everyone’s time a precious - not just their own

Whose stuff is it? If its yours consider giving it away to charity instead. If its hers give her a deadline after which it will all be disposed of.

What is the stuff?
Quick message..
Hi flakey fuckers..
If the stuff isn't collected today then tomorrow it will have to go to the tip /charity shop as it is cluttering up my house.
Op.

I quite hope they do turn up now so that you can tell them they're too late.

They eventually replied to say they'd only just got up and could no longer get a lift and would see what happened. I asked them to let me know within the next hour and they haven't even read the message and the hour has now passed.

Congratulations on the increased assertiveness associated with peri-meno. Now stop feeling guilty. Your flake friend is a CF.
"Shame about your lift & you being let down - it so often seems to happen to you at the last minute doesn't it?! As you're not responding to my texts, I'm not going to wait around for you to "see what happens", so why don't you sod off & stop wasting my time? let's cancel this time. Cheers!"

Obvs you may not wish to text the redacted bit ... but it felt good to THINK about sending the full monty, didn't it?

This person is so disrespectful it's unreal. Stop allowing it. You don't need to be messed around or taken for granted by flaky friends - it's never worth it.

Who IS this person to you OP?

They are unhinged - that is personality-disordered levels of batshit.
Next time they do this - answer, & scream "FUCK OFF YOU ARROGANT TOSSER" down the line at them.
Seriously - why is this person in your life?

How far does this person live from you OP?
As in - would it suit YOU better to dump the stuff outside thier gaff, than have 10 boxes of their shit cluttering up your life?

If so - on a day it suits YOU - send a text informing them that their belongings will be on their front lawn/drive/street from Time X Date Y, as you can't be arsed running around after them or their belongings any longer.