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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much financial help did you give dc at uni?

130 replies

candle18 · 15/05/2022 01:37

My oldest is moving away for uni and I have another two who are younger, 13 and 15.
It obviously depends on what someone can afford but did you fund quite a bit of your child’s time at uni or did you expect them to work as much as needed to subsidise student loan.
Trying to decide what would be reasonable.

OP posts:
PradaOnaBudget · 15/05/2022 08:32

My son gets the maximum loan as I'm a single parent. That pays for accommodation in London and then his father and I send him £50 each a week, so about£400 a month. My son says it's plenty to live well in London as a student. On the top of that he works in a restaurant during the holidays

uggmum · 15/05/2022 08:33

I have one DC who has finished uni and one in their first year.

For both I have always paid their accommodation costs.

So at present DS receives his student maintenance loan at around £4400 PA. His accommodation is £6500. I pay that direct. He lives on his maintenance loan and also works part time as a pizza chef.

I buy the occasional food shop. But that's about it.

MadameFantabulosa · 15/05/2022 08:35

We pay their rent. They manage well on the rest. DD2 sells her art online so gets around £500 a month on a good day for that. DD1 does some ad hoc cat sitting and retail.

Isaidnoalready · 15/05/2022 08:38

Her deposit and first few weeks food but for masters I gave her the first third of her rent as student loans didn't start in time to pay it this she will be able to keep to put towards her own private rental this September she works hard

magnoliaabomination · 15/05/2022 08:39

If the maintenance loan is reduced based on your income then you're expected to make up the shortfall. Student Finance England isn't sufficiently explicit about this, but it's the reality.

chopc · 15/05/2022 08:43

If you are not able to or don't want to fund your DC's further education it is very important that they know when they embark on their sixth form studies so they can make informed decisions about their future .

Minimalme · 15/05/2022 08:43

I want to but my circs are different.

I have 3dc - middle dc very disabled and youngest dc not academic at all and bordering on needing an SEN school.

Eldest dc is proper clever and loves school and learning. He has T1 Diabetes and Hypothyroidism so I want to pay as much as we can to help him rent a clean, safe place and leave with minimal debt.

He wants to get a pt job at 16 though to start saving and I will encourage him because we are not well off.

notsilverfish · 15/05/2022 08:47

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 15/05/2022 06:48

We paid their accommodation in full every year, they lived on the student loan and worked in holidays to pay for their socialising, phones, clothes etc.

We do this too because accommodation varies considerably between universities and even year to year.

Near us there's plenty of summer work for students so they can save quite a bit by working and then don't need to work during the term times.

CharSiu · 15/05/2022 08:48

I think topping up to the loan amount is a very fair way. What is sad is when students do not qualify for a full loan and their parents choose to not assist at all even though they could. I used to work in higher education and money worries amongst students really affected their studies.

nex18 · 15/05/2022 08:50

Dd is coming to the end of her first year. I’m a single parent, she gets about £1000 less than the full maintenance loan so I see that difference as my responsibility. I pay her ongoing costs of mobile phone bill and her contact lenses so about £50 a month, just kept the direct debit running from my account. Other than that I have paid the deposit and retainer fee for next year’s house.
She’s kept her job at home so she works in her holidays but not whilst she’s at uni. She manages well on what she’s got, she chose her accommodation to fit her budget (I see lots of friends comment on their child going to an expensive area or that their rent is more than dd’s but it was an active choice she made as part of her selection).

CornishGem1975 · 15/05/2022 08:52

I just won't be able to afford to subsidise much but what I hope I can do is things like send her regular grocery deliveries etc for essentials, pay phone bill. I doubt it will be a set amount but an open discussion if she's struggling.

CornishGem1975 · 15/05/2022 08:54

@CharSiu In an ideal world we'd all top up but unfortunately we can't. It's not that simple. I've done the calculations and my DD won't be eligible for full amount, but I also don't have a spare £4K to top up with. I have other children to provide for, a large mortgage to pay...every penny is already accounted for.

Threetulips · 15/05/2022 09:03

Eldest dc is proper clever and loves school and learning. He has T1 Diabetes and Hypothyroidism so I want to pay as much as we can to help him rent a clean, safe place and leave with minimal debt

please look at a disability allowance - they can pay towards say a fridge in the accommodation, for his medication, put him in halls near medical trained staff, pay for a laptop or any other additional help he may need - like you say more expensive accommodation.

Threetulips · 15/05/2022 09:06

DD is going September.

She takes out a loan for £2500 and the government pay the rest of the course fees of about £7000 - she pays back the loan but not the fees.

We then pay her rent at about £5000 for the first year, we then will give her shopping money and she’ll work for extra spends.

She has saved £4000 from her PT work, and will work all summer to top it up. Job is transferring her to her new home, and she can work here when she’s back.

We currently pay her car insurance, and will continue to do so.

Hopefully she’s leave with just the £7500 course fee loan - which isn’t too bad.

I say about £50 a week plus tickets home and a few treats.

dianthus101 · 15/05/2022 09:06

CornishGem1975 · 15/05/2022 08:54

@CharSiu In an ideal world we'd all top up but unfortunately we can't. It's not that simple. I've done the calculations and my DD won't be eligible for full amount, but I also don't have a spare £4K to top up with. I have other children to provide for, a large mortgage to pay...every penny is already accounted for.

Shame you didn't do the calculations before you got the large mortgage etc.

Bobnotpop · 15/05/2022 09:09

Most people do it one of two ways, they either pay the rent and the dc lives on the maintenance loan or the maintenance loan goes towards the rent the parents often top that up as rent isi usually more and then they give a weekly or monthly amount to dc for food etc.

user1487194234 · 15/05/2022 09:11

It’s really a shame for students whose parents don’t make up to at least the full loan amount

CharSiu · 15/05/2022 09:14

@CornishGem1975 I wrote parents who could but choose not to, those people exist not people who would like to but can’t afford it.

GNfan · 15/05/2022 09:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

AhNowTed · 15/05/2022 09:17

DS - student loan paid his rent and we gave him £100 a week to live on.

DD - student loan paid most of rent which we topped up and gave her £90 a week to live on.

Both in courses requiring attendance every day so jobs wouldn't be realistic.

stairgates · 15/05/2022 09:17

I have given mine £0, she passed everything and is now working in the field that she wants and is being promoted above longer standing members of staff and loving her life

MyBrilliantFriend · 15/05/2022 09:19

Our intention is to fully fund them. We’ve been saving / investing since they were born with that purpose in mind.

My parents funded me through uni and it made such a difference to me afterwards, no student loans etc.

That said, they don’t know we have been saving in that way, or how much is available. They will need summer / holiday jobs etc too - a work ethic is so important.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 15/05/2022 09:20

The vast majority of students are not rolling in money. 60% work and most use their overdrafts and budget hard. Some choose a university based on it having cheaper accommodation, some choose to live at home to not have to pay out for accommodation.

The maximum maintenance loan amount you can be eligible for for this year is £9488, the minimum loan that a student can take is £4422 leaving a parent to potentially fork out £5066. For most spending this money on one child per year is not doable. If you have paid for your child to be in private school then you might just continue to fund your child with the fees and the loan of £18,738 per year.

We knew this was coming so planned for it a long time ago and have a specific savings account with funding to cover 4 years for both our children. Ds1 is 19 and his halls of residence this year are £6335.

ArtVandalay · 15/05/2022 09:24

My ds gets the minimum maintenance loan and we pay all of his rent (about 5k this year).

We also pay for incidentals like his phone, bus pass, trips etc

We did this for the older one too. They can live quite well on the loan without needing to work. They have friends that have to use their loans for rent and they are permanently skint.

StrawberryPot · 15/05/2022 09:24

Dcs got minimum maintenance loan; we paid their rent.