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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he is just making excuses

62 replies

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 08:32

Hi,

I have been seeing a man for a short while. All was going well. We have fun and get on really well.

However, for the last two days he has been very distant. He suffers with a bad back. He said yesterday afternoon he would come and see me if he got his pain levels down but then didn’t reply all evening and was not online. He says this morning that pain morphine knocked him out and that the hospital came out to give it to him. Aibu to think he is making excuses not to see/talk to me.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 14/05/2022 08:36

The hospital came out to give it to him ? 🤔

JenniferNightingale1 · 14/05/2022 08:38

The hospital came out to give it to him ? Does he mean he called an ambulance ? Morphine will obviously knock you out, if he told you he had back problems from the beginning no need to doubt him

JenniferNightingale1 · 14/05/2022 08:39

@KangarooKenny
Lol paints quite a picture

Original poster
Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 08:39

Yes he said a doctor from the hospital. I didn’t know they could do that without an ambulance

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/05/2022 08:41

Of course they don't do that! He must think you are daft.

TheFlis12345 · 14/05/2022 08:42

If you’re in England then a GP might in exceptional circumstances (where the patient is unable to travel to the surgery) do a home visit but doctors from hospitals certainly don’t pop out for home visits!

hattie43 · 14/05/2022 08:42

Did he not ask you to go to his if he couldn't get to you ? Sounds like an ambulance came not the hospital .

The bigger picture is how bad his back is and how much you are prepared for it curtailing your plans / trips / holidays / social get togethers.

A real back problem is totally debilitating so I feel for him .

JenniferNightingale1 · 14/05/2022 08:44

Are you in the UK ? Doctors don't come out from hospitals.. Fairly sure most countries don't either

Original poster
Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 08:45

@JenniferNightingale1 yes in the UK. That was what I was confused about

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 14/05/2022 08:46

Could it have been an on call GP?

If you don't trust him don't waste your time.

Original poster
Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 08:46

We was supposed to see each other today too but he says he feels like he has a really bad hang over

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/05/2022 08:47

I think that's probably because he does have a really bad hangover.

Original poster
Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 08:49

I should add he has had a major operation on his back previously

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 08:49

About a year ago

OP posts:
MNHD · 14/05/2022 08:50

You have bigger issues than you think I'm afraid OP. No, doctors don't just pop over and give you a tot of morphine. It's a controlled drug for a start so needs a second signature. If the ambulance came and gave it the protocol is they should be travelling to hospital not remaining at home. Some people do have morphine at home for long term pain management, some have other strong pain killers but either way if he is so heavily medicated he is knocked out I would be very wary of going any further. Pain meds destroy families - I don't dispute they provide relief for someone suffering but living with that person can be pure hell. If you're not already invested (well even if you are!) I'd seriously think carefully before going on

sammylady37 · 14/05/2022 08:50

Could it have been a community intervention team? Here, they come and administer IV/IM meds to facilitate earlier discharge from or prevent admission to hospital

KangarooKenny · 14/05/2022 08:50

The on call GP could have given it, but I’m not sure that they would give morphine and then leave him alone. It smells fishy to me.
If he’s got you doubting yourself I say Chuck him back and move on.

JenniferNightingale1 · 14/05/2022 08:50

If he said a doctor came from the hospital he's lying unless the air ambulance landed on his house as they usually carry doctors from hospitals.
So if it happened it was GP or paramedics

JenniferNightingale1 · 14/05/2022 08:53

His meds could absolutely cause him to get confused about his words so I'm going to backpeddle.

pictish · 14/05/2022 08:54

Sounds like a liar and a fantasist. Elaborate lies = knobber.

Inthesameboatatmo · 14/05/2022 09:56

Does he think you were born yesterday? I've never in my life heard of a dr from the hospital coming to give morphine. My late father had a terrible back and was almost daily paralysed with pain. Not once did anyone come out to him despite beggingfrom his family. That's what pain clinics are for . He's stringing you along for sympathy. Get rid love . Honestly give your head a good wobble.

Anonnnnnnm · 14/05/2022 09:57

🚩

Tamzo85 · 14/05/2022 09:59

Maybe he has a bad back? Was this really worth asking strangers?

seensome · 14/05/2022 10:07

If you feel something seems off, it probably is. I doubt they would give morphine at home and leave him. If it was bad enough he would be in hospital.

Original poster
Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 11:12

Hmm. So I have actually just seen him driving his car - he lives near me. He stopped to speak to and said it’s wearing off now... surely you can’t drive the day after? He says he has a doctor that comes out in the car as he’s unable to move when it gets bad. He did have an op on it. Something to do with herniated discs.

OP posts: