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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think he is just making excuses

62 replies

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 08:32

Hi,

I have been seeing a man for a short while. All was going well. We have fun and get on really well.

However, for the last two days he has been very distant. He suffers with a bad back. He said yesterday afternoon he would come and see me if he got his pain levels down but then didn’t reply all evening and was not online. He says this morning that pain morphine knocked him out and that the hospital came out to give it to him. Aibu to think he is making excuses not to see/talk to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 11:13

I would of thought he was lying he wouldn’t stop to speak to me and just drove past. So confused.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 11:18

Feel very rubbish about the situation now.

OP posts:

Dora26 · 14/05/2022 11:24

red flags all over!🚩

Lizzy1980 · 14/05/2022 11:30

I have an ongoing back problem and sometimes it really does cause a lot of pain. I remember one time I was barely able to walk and couldn’t even get to the loo without assistance. I called my GP who very kindly came to see me at home. He gave me two options. He could either send me to hospital in an ambulance for a nerve block injection or could give me morphine. This would have involved him prescribing it and me getting someone to take the prescription to The Pharmacy and collecting it for me. They don’t carry anything like that with them. Just bear that in mind when asking him exactly what happened as regards the Morphine that was given to him by the Dr.

Original poster

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 11:30

He did seem a bit sheepish tomorrow. Probably on way back from Ow.

OP posts:

lemongreentea · 14/05/2022 11:33

Stop wasting your preious time with this knobber and block him. Hes a liar. And probably a cheat. You can do much better.

ImBurtMacklin · 14/05/2022 11:34

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 11:30

He did seem a bit sheepish tomorrow. Probably on way back from Ow.

That’s quite a jump

Mangogogogo · 14/05/2022 11:43

paramedics in first response cars can administer oramorph, they do it for my clients so not sure why you think he’s lying just because he said doctor instead of paramedic and yea oramorph will give you a hangover feeling the next day.

but you know him better than us and know if he’s acting shifty I guess. Then again your more recent response of ‘probably seeing OW’ seems like you’re a tad dramatic so I’m inclined to think he’s probably telling the truth and you’re reaching

either way this clearly isn’t working out

PetersRabbitt · 14/05/2022 11:49

Got caught on his way back from OW obviously.

Herejustforthisone · 14/05/2022 11:50

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 11:30

He did seem a bit sheepish tomorrow. Probably on way back from Ow.

Probably. And he says he feels like he has a hangover because he probably has a hangover.

Bin him off. He’s subpar.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2022 12:03

I have a very good friend that suffers with back problems, same sort of thing, a bulging disc, she has had 2 ops and frequently takes morphine for the pain. Mostly she can still work but there are days when she cannot move at all, and yes she does sometimes feel hungover from the medication.

Having said that, you obviously don't believe him so pointless carrying on the relationship whether he is truthful or not.

Original poster

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 12:18

I know I may be reaching but I didn’t think he would be able to drive the morning after morphine but I could be wrong?

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sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2022 12:25

Honestly not sure that she should but I have known my friend to drive having taken it if she has only had a small dose.

Original poster

Cherrypieinthesky · 14/05/2022 12:26

Thank you. He’s asking me to come round later tonight. Not sure what to do

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Sarahcoggles · 14/05/2022 12:32

It's possible that someone with long-standing chronic pain may have intermittent as hoc morphine administered by an out of hours doctor, but it's quite unusual.
His story about being too wiped out to see you, then being out driving, doesn't ring true.
Personally I wouldn't get involved with anyone who used morphine.

Pheonixgirl · 14/05/2022 12:34

He might be telling the truth, on the other hand it all sounds a bit 'far fetched' to me, I know from personal experience just how 'creative' a good liar can be, many years ago when I was a lot younger (and a lot more naive I dated a guy I worked who was rarely able to see me on a weekend, he told me he was involved with a 'special unit' within the territorial army and he was often on 'manoeuvres' then...I soon found out the only 'manoeuvres' he was involved in were visiting his partner and three children up north....and I fell for it ! Be careful....

bellsbuss · 14/05/2022 12:43

I've had a Dr come to the the house and give me and injection of pain relief before. I could not move the pain in my back was so bad. So yes they will do it.

AuntieDolly · 14/05/2022 12:48

Tell him you're busy tonight

seensome · 14/05/2022 13:07

I bet he'll be fully recovered for tonight then go back to being unwell when he doesn't want to see you.
I'd give this one a miss, he's unreliable.

Ponoka7 · 14/05/2022 13:16

He could drive the day after having morphine, if he's had it before and knows that it doesn't affect his ability to drive. I have a chronic health condition. I have specialist nurses who I can phone and I don't go through the same systems as other people to get treatment etc. In some ways Covid has made things easier for some patients because the health trusts had to have clear policies and procedures. This includes home pain relief injections because we can't take up precious ambulance time because of the shortage. This will vary between trusts.
However you seem to think he's got someone else, so call it quits. It isn't worth this angst.

Dad808 · 15/05/2022 02:26

What's he going to get delivered next from the hospital? Sausage and chips dinner.

LicoricePizza · 15/05/2022 02:42

Is he wealthy? Cld he have private doctor coming out to see him? I know that’s prob not the case but….Do more digging & see if you feel he’s someone you can trust but your instincts have led you here for a reason. I wld trust them.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 15/05/2022 02:42

Usually I'd say he's talking out of his arse, but last year my neighbour had a doctor out in the middle of the night - our GP doesn't do this sort of service so god knows where he came from. I know it was a doctor rather than paramedics etc as he came to the wrong house so had to explain himself.
My neighbour doesn't have any major illnesses (other than being a twat) and was 100% time wasting and attention seeking as usual, so seemed unusual to me that resources were being used that way.

TooBigForMyBoots · 15/05/2022 02:51

Doctor? Is that what they call Dealers where you live?

Original poster

Cherrypieinthesky · 16/05/2022 20:34

Hi everyone. Just thought I would update. I went round to see him. All was well but now I’m getting the same thing that his meds knock him out and he’s struggling to see me. Also that he’s on call at work. He said he ‘aims to see me even if it’s just for a little bit’. I feel like he is just wasting my time and stringing me along.

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