To be really annoyed with this woman

[saltire]

Having a small party for DS2, 5 friends invited, plus DS1 and 2. One of the boys invited turns up with his brother (same age as Ds1) and says "mymum says I ahve to stay here and wait for my brother, then take him home". When i said the party was for Ds2 and his friends he said "Yes but she's a single parent". I don't see what that has to do with it
So now have 1 extra child in teh house, ahve got no extra food, no extra party bags (iknow I know) stuff for him and am really Pi$$ed off with this parent for doing this

Had this one a few times haven't we?

Personally, wouldn't bother me. Pple have done it to me, I have done it to others. I usualy ask before or at least when I get there (and its usually a soft play place anyway).

Personally, for me, it really doesn't bother me.

Last year a number of siblings turned up to ds's party. I did think it was a tiny bit rude not to be asked. But I just got on with it, to be honest.

Wouldn't bother me (but then ds2 insisted on inviting 2 year 6's to his 6th birthday party- and bless them both they're coming!)

One extra older child isn't really a problem is it? There's always more food to go round than needed and its not like having an extra unwanted toddler dumped at an older child's party who cries the entire time (I've seen that at a party- mum and dad wanted to go to the garden centre!)

I think I would probably have been a bit taken aback but have just got on with it. Cant believe the food is that strictly rationed you cant find something to give him? Most kids dont eat half what they're given at parties anyways. Of course he wont need a party bag.
It does seem rude but give the mum the benefit of the doubt maybe things got in a muddle or she didnt realise it was a smallish party or something.

YANBU - five parents arrived at GS's party with at least one (2 with 2) children and then informed the desk that they would be eating with GS's party, before coming to our room. At the end of the party DH forked out an extra £60 to pay for the extra meals due to other peoples bloody cheek.

The poor fella.

Have you a certain amount of food per person? If not I don't see how you don't have enough for the boy to help himself to a sandwich or two & a bit of cake.

I feel sorry for him, he is probably well aware that you don't want him there.

I hope you never have to send an older child with your younger one if you are having a bad day

i think no problem an extra older child - i would however be fuming if someone left a toddler...

Just as an aside.....and I don't know how many kids this woman has.

I have 3, so if one gets invited the other two are spare. My Dh is not always around - he works long hours and I have to work weekends sometimes. I try not to impose but sometimes its just impossible - before and around Christmas we had a glut of parties and it was just not do-able to take just the child invited sometimes. I do feel like a heel sometimes and I always say something, but I think you have to cut some slack sometimes.......

I think you're overreacting a tad.

Yes, she should have asked, but that's just the way of things and it certainly is not worth getting riled about.

I entirely agree with Paloma

I think the problem is the mother didn't ask and the boy probably feels uncomfortable.Maybe she does it all the time and he is used to it!

How about considering this one of those situations you can totally choose to embrace and overcome thereby not actually feeling stressed about it - win-win.

Ok, so some of you have ahd to do this on occasion, but where are the mothers manners??
She has put her son in an awkward position by making him go to a party he isn't invited to, and not even speaking to the OP about it.

DD had a party for halloween and a few of the parents came too, they all asked me beforehand because it's only polite.

I also don't udnerstand why the otherchild had to go too? It's not like the motehr came and couldn't get home etc, he didn;t have to go in the first place, let alone stay.

I think that just about tops the rudest thing I've ever known - where's her dignity, sending her child to a party he wasn't invited too.

Of course the OP was obliged to feed and water him she had no choice and should have done so without making him feel uncomfortable.

I hope i never see the day when I send my kids round other peoples houses for food. Lazy moo should have taken her kids to the party, dropped the party child off and then gone home.

and I'd never invite any of their family anywhere again.

It's bad manners, but we all have to cope with that in life - and probably dish them out too on occasion.

I think unless this has happened to you, don't comment, it can be bloody annoying when an adult doesn't inform you of their plans.

If both these children are going home on their own (its pitch black here) and they are little, I would feel responsible for them until they get home.

Its more than just being about a butty and a ballon.

Would you feel the same if a parent had to stay until this party was over? Would you feel obliged to feed them and be so rude about them?

Nail, head Walnut.

The only thing which really winds me up about kids parties are the ones who don't even acknowledge the invite.

I dont think I'd stop furture invites because then the children lose out rather than the mother, I would however make sure that she was aware that I had a set number of people coming which I needed to adhere to.

If the parent had satyed the OP wouldn't have been responsible for a child she may not know, nor was expecting. It isn't the child's fault. The mother has no reason to have not let the OP know.

I've always invited spare siblings who have turned up. Always. Why not?

I will you NAB

?

All that's happened is that the boy has accompanied his brother to a party in place of the more normal adult. He's not asking to be fed or to be part of the party. It's not in the same league as turning up to a soft play type party and expecting a sibling to eat the paid for/catered food.

with
not will

rushing to get dinner on and finish rant....