Please tell me this is ok

[Sprat12]

Please tell me this is acceptable.

Baby is 3 weeks old today (ftm). A mix of BF and bottle fed. I had a traumatic labour and really rocky recovery, have had bad postpartum anxiety and insomnia so I'm having a whale of a time right now.

I can't help but kick the feeling that I should be doing more. Currently sat on the sofa while kiddo naps in the Moses basket next to me. DH has just gone out for snacks and I have cancelled a friend popping over later as we had a rotten night sleep wise and I'm just wiped. DS fed for hours last night and then was really refluxy and colicky last night, through to about 4am.

I feel terribly guilty that I should be out walking, or meeting mum friends or doing something worthwhile with my day, but Jesus, I just cannot be bloody arsed.

Went for a walk yesterday with DS and DH which was supposed to be lovely but I'm still so knackered from labour recovery that we managed a 2km walk and I had to come home as I felt like a shell of a person.

Please someone make me feel better and tell me it's completely normal to want to just slob at home while trying to keep this baby fed and happy?!

I’ve said Yabu. I do think getting out for a walk every day is really important. I wish I’d done it more with dc1. My babies both slept better when they been in real daylight, and had been in real fresh air. And I felt a million times better too, and recovered quicker. Being out and about was good for my pnd too.

and seeing a friend - unless you are really unwell don’t cancel. A visit from a friend is a blessing and can lift your entire day, even if they just pop in for half an hour.

Noone ever, ever, ever said I wish I had gone out more when I had a newborn.

Ever.

Enjoy.

You will never get this opportunity again to sit on the sofa watching TV with a snuggly baby do not waste it feeling guilty and forcing yourself to do stuff!! Saying this kindly but I look back on those moments so fondly. Any babies after that it does not occur at least not in the same way!

Don't try to move so fast. Rest, recover, get used to the baby. Start doing some easy stuff like a coffee out with mum friends at 8 weeks or so. You've got years of this, make sure you're starting as strong as you can. Identify good box sets for these initial weeks, get set up with drinks and snacks, and get well. Loads of time for the rest. Xxx

Of course it's acceptable. A 3 week old baby doesn't care if it goes out for a walk.

You're not doing nothing tho! Your body is healing, you need to let that happen for your baby's sake as well as your own. You're also feeding a baby round the clock which, let's face it is a full time job in itself in the beginning. You're changing nappies, learning how to look after a baby and adjusting to you're new life along with all the usual cooking, washing, maintaining a relationship etc as usual. Give yourself break and listen to your body.

Whilst true, it's also the last opportunity for a few years for meeting for a relaxed coffee with friends, going places that you fancy without worrying that they'll be bored, all sorts.

When tiny, I could wander round the shops, go out for meals, museums, long lunches with friends, lost afternoons in beer gardens (usually with a soft drink,) with friends, concerts, parties etc. All things that even 6 months later are an absolute nightmare.

Equally, it's the only times you'll be able to sit and cuddle your baby effort watching box sets that aren't paw patrol.

This early period is precious and is the only opportunity for a long time, to choose what you want to do for you. If that's means chilling, then that's great. If that means eeking out of every bit of fun/socialising whilst you can, that's also great.

Use that time how you want, you'll never get it back, and you won't get it again.

You never get this time again. Honestly take it easy, do what you need to do and try and enjoy the good bit amongst the exhaustion.

You spent 9 months growing a baby, hours of Labour, feeding a baby—- that takes up masses and masses of energy. To be honest, 3 weeks after my dog gave birth we only exercised her very, very gently!!!
When your baby is sleeping, you rest. Listen to your body and when you feel like going out meeting friends etc you’ll know you’ve recovered enough.
Congrats on your new arrival.

Your baby is old 3 weeks. Give yourself time. Time to even want to do these things. And don't feel guilty for not wanting to do anything other than sit and veg out when you can. You've just worked non stop growing your baby, you get to do whatever makes you happy while baby is sleeping. Plenty of time for those lovely mummy things when you're ready. For now, enjoy a week deserved rest x

Well deserved*