Please tell me this is ok

[Sprat12]

Please tell me this is acceptable.

Baby is 3 weeks old today (ftm). A mix of BF and bottle fed. I had a traumatic labour and really rocky recovery, have had bad postpartum anxiety and insomnia so I'm having a whale of a time right now.

I can't help but kick the feeling that I should be doing more. Currently sat on the sofa while kiddo naps in the Moses basket next to me. DH has just gone out for snacks and I have cancelled a friend popping over later as we had a rotten night sleep wise and I'm just wiped. DS fed for hours last night and then was really refluxy and colicky last night, through to about 4am.

I feel terribly guilty that I should be out walking, or meeting mum friends or doing something worthwhile with my day, but Jesus, I just cannot be bloody arsed.

Went for a walk yesterday with DS and DH which was supposed to be lovely but I'm still so knackered from labour recovery that we managed a 2km walk and I had to come home as I felt like a shell of a person.

Please someone make me feel better and tell me it's completely normal to want to just slob at home while trying to keep this baby fed and happy?!

Jeez! You have a brand spanking new baby and feel you should be doing stuff other than feeding and bonding with your child? Bollocks to that!!!!!

Stay at home in your comfies. You have FULL PERMISSION to 'slob about' (except it isn't slobbing caring for a newborn!). I read a comment on MN last week about "channelling your inner sloth", aka doing absolutely nothing apart from the very necessary.

You've had a very rough time. Now is your chance to get as much rest as you can and concentrating on your own recovery as much as looking after your newborn. Screw what some people think you should be doing!

Relax and enjoy. Also, congratulations!

Chill out, recover, feet up, daytime TV and cuddle your baby. Nothing else needed 😀

At 3 weeks if you walk round the block you're doing well!!

Take it easy, feet up, rest, watch telly, cuddle baby. REST x

Three weeks is NOTHING! Give yourself a chance to recover / get used to baby . You’re hugely sleep deprived and in the absolute thick of the first days. You’ll find you emerge a bit more around 6 weeks, but it might not be until 12. Take it slowly - you’re literally missing out on nothing right now.

Listen to your body. Feet up, relax while you can and eat chocolate! You are doing exactly the right thing.

all you need to do is feed the baby, feed yourself, cuddle the baby and get a cuddle and sleep when you can

Congratulations on your new baby!
Just go with the flow, don't feel pressured to do things if you are exhausted. Your baby is only three weeks old -you might feel differently next week/next month/few months time when you have healed and are a bit more settled.
I felt like that with baby one, baby two I was out and about the next day and both are absolutely fine choices.

The first 6 to 8 weeks all you should be doing is eating sleeping and looking after baby. You are doing exactly the right thing. If you fancy it a gentle 10 15 min walk only. Enjoy this time and nest in. And if you do have visitors don't be afraid to tell them you are tired now can they leave.
100% doing the right thing

If everyone is alive, more or less sane, and fed tou are doing brilliantly!

OP you just created a human being! It's absolutely ok for you you to take time to recover from that and also you're absolutely not doing nothing, you are keeping said human being alive which is 24/7 at this point. You really really don't need to worry that you 'should' be doing anything else in addition to this.

Congratulations!
You sound lovely. You are 100% doing what you should be doing. Care for your baby and look after yourself.
If you family/friends ask if you need anything say you'd like a meal for your freezer. We did this and it was AMAZING.
Didn't need baby vests or flowers just sustenance that wasn't constant takeaways 😊
Enjoy it all (but you are allowed to feel fed up/weepy too. Normal)
🌹

Years ago you'd probably only have been out of hospital 10 days or so! Times change but the toll the birthing process takes on a woman's body remains pretty similar.

There's nothing wrong with the advice that when they sleep you sleep, or at least put your feet up and rest. These early days can be really hard and if it's a first baby it's a shock to the system too as not a lot can prepare you for the physical, emotional and hormonal turbulence you're probably feeling at present.

Be kind to yourself and let others be kind to you too. Don't ask too much of yourself, accept any help you feel you need. Eat well, drink plenty. Enjoy the cuddles! Good luck with your little kiddo and welcome to the sisterhood!

Bloody hell, you only gave birth three weeks ago! Put your feet up with a cuppa and a packet of biscuits and crack on with the relaxing, I say. You’ve got a whole new tiny human being to get to know - I don’t think you need to be worrying about socialising and activities! Enjoy.

Thank fuck for that 😅 what a wonderful bunch of replies, thank you all for making me feel a little more human!

Christ, I think I spent the first 6 months just needing to stay home and relax as much as possible!
I had family come to visit days after baby was born and was dragged out to the beach and shopping. At one point I felt physically sick and shakey from the pain down below (episiotomy and third degree tear) that I had to tell them I couldn’t do anything else for the rest of their visit and needed to be in my own comfort at home.
You aren’t “supposed” to be doing anything other than recovering and enjoying your baby. Sofa, duvet, movie and loads of snacks is the way to go! Also congratulations!

OP, look at your gorgeous wee bundle of sleeping and wailing and colic. You grew that. All of it. From nothing. In your body. For 9 months. Of course you're feeling a bit depleted! Rest and recover and enjoy 💐

Walks with a baby are hard work and made me very anxious worrying about the temperature, rhe sun, etc etc.

The most i managed at 4 weeks was garden centres for tea and cake 🎂

Enjoy the snacks you have on the way. Sounds like a lovely way to spend a day to me!

In my opinion the reason newborns don't really interract much is so you can slob around whenever possible and get over what your body has been put through the last few months. For as long as you need. They get nothing from baby groups/classes etc until they are about 6 months in my opinion. In the first six months of their life do what you need to recover; whether thats get out and socialise or chill on the sofa. Congratulations by the way x

3 weeks is very little time to recover.

Your baby's only 3 weeks old. When I had my first baby, I had a c-section and couldn't drive for weeks and we lived in a house with many many steps up to it. By the time I got the baby washed, dressed and fed and had a shower myself the baby would have a dirty nappy again or was hungry. I thought I'd never get out of the house. You are being too hard on yourself.

Congratulations. Eat biscuits. Drink tea. You are all fed and comfy that’s enough. Seriously don’t give it brain space.

Absolutely agree!
don’t put any pressure on yourself
congratulations!

To be honest, even months in I was just pleased to be washed, clothed and have something to eat at times.

Listen to your body, keep looking after your baby and do whatever works for you.

Hell no! Jesus. Give yourself a break lady! You just birthed a whole human a matter of weeks ago and now are the caregiver of said tiny human who is entirely dependant on you. Which is a demanding and exhausting role.

Stay sat. Eat all the biscuits and pat yourself on the back

All of that stuff will come. Right now your primary job is to sit on the sofa, look after that newborn and take time to recover from your difficult birth. It's totally normal! Take advantage of the napping and baby cuddling to watch some junk on netflix X x