‘The girls’ and The boys’ can…is this OK?

[Shamplade]

AIBU to think this isn’t ok?

Class teachers will say things like:

’the girls have been good so can…’

’I trust the girls to…’

I don’t think they should be lumping kids into a homogeneous group based on any physical attribute. I think it sends implicit messages that boys are X and girls are Y.

It may be true that the the girls are better behaved in the class but stating it like this, surely creates division and a self-fulfilling prophecy?

AIBU to want to call the school out on this?

So what do you want the teacher to say if the girls can..........?

🙄

It's not ideal but I really don't think this is something I would complain about (and I have boys).

I have taught some classes where literally all of the girls were not causing trouble and all of the boys were. The fact is, the children are male and female, and can be referred to as such.

I agree with you this is lazy stereotyping. Personally I probably wouldn't bother contacting the school about it, but do if you feel strongly.

If this is the thing your spend on calling then school out on, then it sounds like a very good school.

Sex is a protected characteristic. We wouldn't do it by any other protected characteristic would we?

We've had this recently. "The girls" were told to carry on with their work, "the boys" were told off for misbehaving outside. The head came in to talk to "the boys" even though the teacher named my son and another two boys as not in trouble. Why weren't they allowed to carry on with their work then?!

I challenged the teacher the next day and he accepted that he had taken the easier option of lumping the boys together.

I think it's just ingrained in schools and needs to be challenged.

AIBU to want to call the school out on this?
depends who you are in relation to the class. This is pretty much the situation in DD's class. 25 in the class, 8 girls. All of the girls behave plus two of the boys with two sometimes involved. Any of the trouble caused is by the rest of the boys.
If you are the mum of one of those four boys, then you have every right to complain.

Good point about protected characteristics. A teacher would never say "all the white / black children are causing trouble" (even if it happened to be true at that moment in time). So it shouldn't be ok to say it about girls / boys.

I think it is worth having a quiet word.
If for no other reason than all the gender stuff flying around They wouldn't want kids preferring to be in the 'other' group and thus thinking they 'just actually' be a girl/boy.

Just wait till they start secondary school. If 2 kids misbehave, the whole class gets punishment and loses break time despite doing nothing wrong. That's my son's school anyway.
Pick your battles x

I suppose I should have said parent!

What I'm unclearly trying to say is that if you're the parent of a girl in the class then you'll sound like a right idiot making anything out of it. If your child is being lumped with the trouble makers and he's not, then you should question the teacher on it.

As the parent of two overly well behaved boys YANBU.

Or reception class used to have a sign on it reading:

Boy (noun): noise plus dirt

Thanks for the responses. Interesting. It’s a mixed bag then in terms of whether or not this is OK.

hadn’t thought about ‘protected characteristic’. Good point!

Porcupineinther

Thats awful. 🙁 How are we supposed to develop good, well rounded men if they are boiled down to dirt and noise? What we tell our kids they are, they are more likely to become. Let’s set our expectations higher than that!! It’s like the ‘sugar and spice and all things nice’ rhyme.

Very lazy and very 'othering'. No wonder girls and boys stop playing together/ inviting each other to their parties if they learn that they are two separate groups (and one on the whole is regarded much more positively than the other).

YABU to say "...call the school out on this?"

What's wrong with "challenge"?

I actually think it would be great if the parent of a girl said something, as it's harder to dismiss as just them defending their own child. And this kind of lazy stereotyping does hurt girls too - it might feel positive for them at this level because they're the 'good ones' but it reinforces a lot of stereotypes that hold them back longer term.

The sooner those girls learn that their group doesn’t matter the better.
Guys be quiet.
Morning guys
break time guys
see you tomorrow guys.

lets not instill any independence now.

ChocolateHippo · 13/05/2022 07:58

Yes. I agree. My DS has lovely friendships with girls out of school, but talks in a really negative way about the girls at school - teachers pet. Tell tale etc. I really do think it’s setting them up to be against each other. The school aren’t doing great at creating a sense of community in lots of ways though. It’s quite old fashioned I think. Hoping it will improve.

Agree with this. This attitude is very ingrained.

Ditto sitting the misbehaving boys with a well behaved girl as she is ‘sensible’ and will ensure they get on with their work. As if it’s my daughter’s job to coddle a boy. Although in fairness I’ve also had this with my ds when he was made to sit with someone because he was a good influence, Why should the ‘sensible’ kids have to miss out on sitting with their own, equally sensible friends.

I never used to complain about this stuff but I do now, every single time. It’s lazy teaching and they won’t do better if they aren’t challenged.

Completely agree with you. Ridiculous and very old fashioned way to group children. My son is not a sporty, running around type so he gets along much better with 'the girls' who he can draw with and act out different roles. But then it really hurts him when he hears things like that and then girls get reminded that he is actually in 'the boys' group and start excluding him from activities. Nonsense kids should mix together and not have such ridiculous groups and teachers should encourage that

Yes this happens with my sensible DD’s all the time. It infuriates me.

It’s obviously wrong and teachers shouldn’t do it. I would mention it to them.