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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand “engagement shoots”

65 replies

SaltandPepper22 · 12/05/2022 21:33

Seems to be a Thing now that when you book your wedding photographer you also get an engagement shoot.

My instagram feed is full of them at the moment. Couples walking through woods/meadows/forests looking into each other’s eyes, pretending to laugh and nonchalantly hanging out of trees. Most wedding photographers seem to include them as part of the package so I’m not sure how you get out of having to have one.

AIBU to find them totally cringe?

See also: pregnancy shoots

OP posts:
easyday · 12/05/2022 21:39

I had a photographer do engagement shots. It was a trail to see if we wanted her for our wedding. I only had one framed for us and one for my parents and we used one in our wedding order of service - social media wasn't a big thing then but if it was happening today I might just post one to say it was all official. No walking through meadows just a few nice shots of us smiling in to the camera - we were actually on the Isle of Dogs. And it was genuine - we couldn't stop laughing we were so happy. He passed away suddenly 8 years later and they are some of my favourite photos of us.

MangyInseam · 12/05/2022 21:40

It's just a gimmick for the photographer to make more money.

Amdone123 · 12/05/2022 21:41

🤣🤣🤣....hanging out of trees....made me laugh so loud, I woke the dog !
I've only ever seen on American programmes, eg, Teen Mom.
Yanbu.

Wimbunds · 12/05/2022 21:46

nonchalantly hanging out of trees 🤣🤣🤣

DownToTheSeaAgain · 12/05/2022 21:49

My DH asked me to marry him while I was grilling some fish. That would have made a great shot. Wish I'd captured it but wasn't a thing 22 years ago.

AgentMagenta · 12/05/2022 21:51

Engagement shoots, pregnancy shoots, first day of work shoots. Anything can be 'shoot' worthy these days. People even do them with their pets. Why not?

To not understand “engagement shoots”
InChocolateWeTrust · 12/05/2022 21:52

Our photographer offered something like this but more as a "getting to know you" opportunity before the big day. We did it at our venue so we could find nice spots we liked, plus it revealed that DH (not a photo lover) is nightmarishly wooden and I'm not much better, he basically worked out what worked for us and it meant it all went smoothly on the big day. We never showed anyone else those pics though, crinnnnnnnge

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 12/05/2022 21:52

It's dead easy, you say "I don't want an engagement shoot please" to the photographer and boom! You don't have one!

Honestly, some people like to document any and all occasions with photoshoots. Let them crack on. Doesn't hurt you. You just crack on with what you like.

And no, I hate having my picture taken so not my cup of tea.

Ownedbymycats · 12/05/2022 21:53

It's an excellent way to work out if the photographer and couple are a good fit and it gives the photographer an idea of how best to photograph them For shy couples it can really help them relax and think about what they like in terms of photos.
The difficulty arises when they're all over social media and that can often be the fault of the photographer as they're basically using them for advertising.

Somuddled · 12/05/2022 21:53

Most photographers I know (quite a few) use it as an opportunity to suss out how natural or stiff the couple are going to be on the day, and how chilled or demanding. It's helpful to them so they build it into thier standard packages.

It'd not what I would want but hey, any excuse to judge people eh?

GarlicGnocchi · 12/05/2022 21:53

It's more of a practice run for the wedding really.

As for pregnancy shoots, each to their own.

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 12/05/2022 21:55

What is it you don't understand? Or are you just wanting to mock others choices?

RewildingAmbridge · 12/05/2022 21:55

I also don't get 'first look' photo shoots, we were offered this, and said no. Surely if you want to capture the first look it should be as the bride is walking down the aisle, or if you're not bothered and getting ready together etc there's no first look to capture?

Antarcticant · 12/05/2022 21:59

I don't see what's wrong with them, if people want them. No different from any other non-essential expenditure - different people want different things.

That photo with the ginormous cat head made me laugh, though. Especially as the cat looks like it's rolling its eyes.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 12/05/2022 21:59

Our photographer offered it but we didn’t pay extra for it. It gave us a chance to get to know the photographers and relax around them, it helped them learn how much we would be comfortable with in terms of nonchalantly hanging out of trees or me being held horizontally by DH and his best man - which was not very. It gave us a chance to talk about specific things that the photographer had picked up and practice, so the photographer had mentioned to DH how to put his hand on my back without catching my veil and ripping my hair out.

I was skeptical at first but we had a nice time, we got some nice photos and were a lot more relaxed around them on our wedding when we got amazing photos. I didn’t share them on social media but that’s because I don’t share much on social media. Engagement photos are nicer than most of the other stuff that gets posted on social media.

RuthW · 12/05/2022 21:59

It's not new. We had one done in 1987. Was the norm then.

Zazdar · 12/05/2022 22:00

When do they do these engagement shoots? Presumably not at the proposal.

ButtockUp · 12/05/2022 22:02

Sounds like a load of shitey bollox to me.

GarlicGnocchi · 12/05/2022 22:04

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 12/05/2022 21:55

What is it you don't understand? Or are you just wanting to mock others choices?

That's what it sounds like to me tbh

treebit · 12/05/2022 22:04

@AgentMagenta I'm not sure anyone should be emulating that!

steff13 · 12/05/2022 22:04

People get engaged and then they have pictures taken, usually for the announcement of the engagement. It's not hard to understand.

broccolicheese · 12/05/2022 22:05

I used to do wedding photography and would offer an engagement shoot if the couple wanted it. It’s a good way to get the couple comfortable with you, and comfortable being in front of the camera, before the wedding and the main, important photos

treebit · 12/05/2022 22:07

What's not to like!

luxxlisbon · 12/05/2022 22:07

Wedding photos, engagement photos, pregnancy photos … people like to document big events in their life? Shocking.

SunshineCake · 12/05/2022 22:09

Just because it is offered doesn't mean you have to accept it.