To get a cat if visiting family are allergic?

[chatterbug22]

We are considering adopting our first furry friend, ideally a cat due to our busy working lifestyles.

It is all I can think about! We have done our research, spoken to people with cats that we know and contacted a local rescue, and they have approved our home check for one indoor cat.

My mum had a cat for years and took antihistamines daily but is very allergic to them and saying she would rather we didn’t get one as she couldn’t visit if we did.

Of course it’s a big decision and commitment, I hate the thought of my mum/family never visiting us and feel a bit selfish if they were unable to because of a choice I made.

Thoughts??

I am a cat owner but if I was in your position I would prioritise Mum over cats, you are very lucky to have a mum so close. Unless she is a toxic pain in the arse, in which case get the cats.

The thing is, it's not the mums house. Should adult children who want pets really be expected not to get them because someone who doesn't even live in their house has an allergy?

That's bonkers to me 😳

I had a friend who visited his girlfriends family for a weekend recently. He had a really uncomfortable time with his allergy.

Well it depends on your relationship with your family member, doesn't it? There's no "should" about it, it's a choice but personally I'd prioritize being able to invite a parent, adult child or sibling into my home over a pet. Doesnt mean that OP shouldn't get a cat, just means she should think through the implications carefully first. As my parents/inlaws have aged their ability to host has declined meaning family get togethers now tend to happen in the homes of the next generation. Both my dad and my MiL are disabled and find going out difficult, so being able to have them over at ours is important in a way it wasn't even 5 years ago.

My granddaughter cannot visit her other grandma because of her allergy to cats. The allergy has got considerably worse as she's getting older and even antihistamines don't work. The grandmother, despite being fit and healthy will not make the effort to visit my granddaughter away from the cats. She just takes in more and more cats. It's her loss. She's missed out on the first 10 years of granddaughters life and will likely miss the rest.

DH is allergic to cats. As are his family. However, they are all slightly differently affected, and it definitely depends on the cat. DH had cats as a child, so the family coped before, and I have always had cats, so he had to suck it up, get me, get my cats 😁

He actually has become better since getting older. Probably due to exposure. We did have to re-home one cat, who for some reason gave him really bad asthma, but all our others have been fine, and sometimes two at a time, and a couple of long haired cats of DM, who used to come and stay sometimes. Our current cat he can even pet and have on his lap, as long as he washes his hands after. He adores Arthur😍

My DB is allergic. My DM was up in arms when I got a cat, as it meant he would never be able to stay with me again (he lives over 150 miles away). I was pretty quick to point out that he’d only visited me twice in six years so for once every three years, no, I wasn’t prepared to forego the cat. I have to say, I would have done if he came round every week but it’s a very personal decision and depends on the relationship.

Jenny is not describing a particularly severe reaction TBH. I wish mine were that mild and there are plenty of other stories here of much more severe reactions. When you get a cat the reality is you are always risking a significant percentage of people not being able to visit. People just need to be aware of that and not fall for the myth that an antihistamine will sort it out or that a specific breed is a guarantee of a milder/ no reaction.

I'd get a cat. It's not like she lives with you.
My nephew has many allergies and recently found out they include cats. We have 2 cats and he often comes to visit, as well as us visiting him, probably with cat hairs on our clothes! He takes a daily antihistamine and will happily play with the cats when he visits!