Lodgers irritating me

[piemaggedon]

So I'm in my forties, it's just me and my kids in a big 3 story townhouse, I never use the ground floor. I decided to rent it out under the rent a room scheme to lodgers. A couple with a 2 yr old are renting only for 4 months as they are doing some phd work at a local university. Omg I am so stressed, they are cooking fish all the time as the girl is on a diet so my house stinks of fish, they keep putting my heating up to 26 and 27 degrees, their 2 yr old is sweet but wakes early and cries a lot and my kitchen is over their bedroom so I can't use my kitchen at night or early in the morning when she's sleeping otherwise she wakes and is crying for ages. I never knew we would be this compromised, I can't live my life. I know I'm a total idiot for agreeing to this and maybe one lodger would have been tolerable but this has put me off for life. They are only staying for 6 more weeks but I find myself hiding in my bedroom more and more and just wishing the time away until they leave. It really isn't worth the extra money. So my Aibu question is, am I being unreasonable to not raise the issues with them as it's only another 6 weeks and we can hopefully keep things on a positive spin for another few weeks even though I'm simmering with resentment constantly or should I raise the issues so they understand why I am avoiding my own house so much and why I'm more stressed than before? I'm going stir crazy, totally wrong decision for my family. Any advice?? Obviously I've learnt my lesson and will never have a lodger again x

What issue would raise though? they don't sound like they're doing anything other than living their lives! Just don't another lodger when they leave!

They're putting the heating up higher than normal, room temperature is 21 degrees and they're putting it to 26 and 27 degrees which I'm paying for. and cooking fish all the time is pretty inconsiderate.

I’d raise the heating issue with them but the rest Id try to let go for the sake of 6 weeks

I'm filled with resentment, I wonder if I say something and get it off my chest, I'll feel better? I'm sick of being full of resentment.

I'd ride it out and try and live around them as you have an end date, apart from the heating issue. There's absolutely no need for it this time of year. Can you switch it to off at the boiler? Keep windows open to help the fishy smell. Maybe use a slow cooker so you prepare your meal before toddler is asleep. And make up a flask for the evenings? I hope the next six weeks fly by!

You need to sit down and talk to them about all those things except the child crying which I am sure they would have stopped if they could. It sounds like you are being more considerate than they are which is always going to lead to resentment.
And yabu for thinking this is always what it’s like having a lodger. You have jumped in with both feet by renting to a family when you have no experience of sharing your space and don’t seem to have done the necessary laying down of ground rules.
You might have got someone who never ate fish, didn’t mind you using the kitchen at night and never made a noise.

Thanks playplayaway, me too. Yeah I just need to buckle down for the last few weeks and learn my lesson I guess

I think it was a bit silly to take on a family with a toddler and expect them to be silent!

That said, turning the beating up to 26/27 in this weather is ridiculous. I’d turn the boiler off and let them know they can’t have the heating on that much.

Open a window for the fish and count down your days. They are paying to live there so it’s got to feel like their home for the short term.

There’s no way on earth I would ever have any lodgers living in my house and this is why!

What heating now? 27 degrees is tropical. Madness.

the heating is unacceptable definitely say something, and tell her to open windows after cooking or while cooking, the child needs to deal with normal household noise so i wouldn't tiptoe in my own house and definitely use kitchen when you want to they should not be leaving a child to cry in a shared house some crying is normal but she is 2 not 6 weeks
you just need to speak to them or tell them to leave
most folks don't have heating on at all in May

You shouldn't have to stop using your kitchen and they shouldn't be messing with the heating, the cooking of fish I couldn't get worked up about. Use your kitchen as and when you want, it's your house and tell them not to touch the heating controls or you want £xxx extra from them to cover the bill

I'd hate the stink of fish though.

You can’t really dictate what they cook and when, unless it’s a shared kitchen in the middle of the night.
The heating thing is pretty much the only thing you can raise, and even then you should have discussed what was reasonable/not reasonable before they agreed to move in. Some people are not as comfortable as others at a lower temperature. They might be happy to pay the extra.

Wow !

YABU - you wanted their money. You knew they had a 2 year old.

Get some plug in air fresh and crack on. It’s only for just over a month.

Yes, have a firm word about the heating.

You'll have to suck up the rest, and don't take lodgers with children in the future.

Some ways of cooking fish are less smelly than others. I once fried whitebait in a shared kitchen and the smell clung for ages, I would never do that again if it impacts on other people. Steaming in foil otoh doesn’t make a smell. It’s unreasonable to tell people they are not allowed to eat fish but not to except some consideration.

If you want a quiet house you don't let a family with a young child move in. You can't tell her not to cook fish. I'd speak to them about the heating.

Lodgers don't seem to be for you though.

(Or even expect consideration.)

Can you override the heating? That temperature is ridiculous.

You cant police what they eat, no matter how bad it smells to you, but you are definitely not BU about the heating. That temperature is ridiculous in winter, never mind going into the summer months!

It’s not inconsiderate to cook fish!
Its not their fault that you’re renting out a floor that hasn’t been designed as a separate living facility.
Have they got the proper kitchen? I presume you didn’t have an actual full spare kitchen?

For the heating though, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask them to to turn it down. But, if they’re genuinely cold (and that’s subjective) and your contract didn’t control the heating settings - they’ve done nothing wrong.

Next time single professional, no children, no pets, in my experience men are better tenants than women.

It sounds like an uncomfortable situation for everyone.

It's easy to feel the vibe when someone is seething and avoiding you.

I'd mention the heating and forget the rest for the next 6 weeks.

Is it particularly cold on the ground floor? Heat does tend to rise. If not, I definitely would raise with them about the heating, but probably not anything else