To think boys aren’t necessarily ‘harder work’ than girls?

[Cinnabomb]

Wondering what wider opinion on this is. I have a toddler DD who, like all toddlers, has her moments, but I guess generally is pretty good apart from a few idiosyncrasies eg fussy eating. She is however extremely active, never sits still and into climbing etc, so definitely not the stereotypical “quiet sit on your lap” type little girl. We also had a horrendous start and she was a very difficult newborn so I feel we deserve our relatively easy time now, ……and she’s not even 2 yet so plenty of time for her to turn into a horror 😬

All of my friends that have boys of a similar age are adamant that boys are ‘harder’ to parent, eg more boisterous, less compliant and more full on. A lot are quite physical with other children eg pushy/ bundling and again they often say that boys will just be boys. Most either just have the one child, a DS, or multiple boys but no girls so I don’t think it’s really a fair comparison.

so what does MN think? Are girls ‘easier’ as young children? Surely it’s child/ personality dependant? I’m also 20 weeks pregnant with a boy so interested!

My little boy is very very active but he’s not boisterous and not allowed to be pushy etc

It's sexist stereotyping

My boys (28 & nearly 18) have been easier, but none of my kids are hard work, thankfully. I have 2 teens and my house is calm and relaxing, don’t know how I dropped so lucky. My younger son was difficult age 1-2, but just the norm. Since then he’s not caused me a days trouble.

I have a boisterous boy and a calm girl. I don't believe it's down to my parenting. I'd have loved to sit at home while my son played quietly rather than sit in the park in all weathers while he ran round. I remember sitting him down at the table with pens and paper when he was a toddler...he was completely uninterested. I remember when I first sat my DD down with pens and paper she was fascinated, she sat there for ages using them. Her concentration span was so much longer than his.

My boy has been easier than my girls in most ways. In particular, he was a very content baby and enjoyed being a baby if you get what I mean, he liked sitting having a cuddle and napping and feeding. My girls just wanted to be involved in what was going on and were always desperate to get onto the next phase, trying to crawl at 4 months, rolling all over the place, refusing to sleep and were often too distracted to feed well.

DS has had his moments over the years though and in a lost of ways I worry about him more as he is quite quirky and I worry about how he relates to people.

As a teacher, I am always a bit concerned when there are significantly more boys than girls in a class as it really shifts the dynamic.

I thought it was said to be the other way round, however, I've only ever had girls so I cannot compare.
Both are pretty easygoing.

Well I have boy and girl twins.....my boy is 1000% more hard work than his sister 😂

Interesting responses. Perhaps because my DD doesn’t seem like a ‘typical’ girl according to the responses here I’m not convinced boys are more energetic. My DD won’t sit still, has to be running everywhere and basically explodes if I don’t get her out the house by about 9.30!

it is interesting how it feeds into expectations and parenting styles etc. I admit I had a touch of gender disappointment when I found out I was having a boy, because I dislike quite a lot of the ‘boys will be boys’ type behaviour I’ve witnessed.

Hmm, on the physical thing: my experience was of a DD1 who had calloused hands aged 5 from years of swinging on the monkey bars at school/in the playground. She had knocked teeth out and even broken bones, well, one, from terrifying stunts. She needed walking like a dog daily and would bounce on her heels with boredom without huge amounts of physical exercise. She didn't wreck the house though, because I told her not to and she wasn't a twat.. DD2 desperately wanted to join in but couldn't keep up physically with her older sis so spent a lot of time pootling with me. Physical, sociable, boisterous DD1 was 'easier' to parent at the time as she was usually off scaling the slide the wrong way or chasing dogs in the park and perfectly happy - just required close observation (and regular first aid.) DD2 however got through any crafty or other activity I could manage to think of with her in no more than 20 mins. Chatted at me CONSTANTLY. I'd have to write lists at night of things I could do with her the next day so I could keep fresh stuff going in, nothing held her attention for more than a few minutes and she would get the hang of things almost straightaway then start moaning. It was exhausting.
Sorry, that's rambling.
I guess what I think is all that 'boys/girls are easier stuff is a load of lazy, stereotyping sexist nonsense and needs to stop.

Totally opposite case for me. I have 3 DS’s and 2 DD’s and my DD’s have been far more ‘difficult’ than my DS’s ever were. My DS’s are mostly quite laid back, quiet and well behaved. DD’s have always been quite highly strung, loud and often volatile. When they were younger they were honestly nightmares at times throwing mega tantrums I couldn’t get them out of. DS’s just aren’t like that at all.

I have one of each - 17 and 20 now.
My DS was never a boisterous, physical boy. I don't know whether it was due to his character or because we had expectations of how to behave or what. I know I would never have let him behave the way some of his friends did aged 2-8.
My DD was not a girly girl. She went through a phase of liking pink, but grew out of it way before most of her friends.
I think the difficulties I have had with both of them have been down to character rather than sex. I wouldn't say one was harder than the other, they are just different, again I don't think that has anything to do with their sex.

(Based on personal experience only). Teenage boys are a delight

Definitely an individual thing and I also think it’s down to how our own personalities work with each other.
My daughter has always been a lot harder for me than my son, we clash a lot (we are both very emotional!) where as I don’t with my son, on the other hand my husband clashes with our son so would most probably say our son is the harder one.

Sexist stereotypes. Children of both sexes enjoy being active. If boys are being pushy and rough and getting away with it it’s because their parents turn a blind eye - “boys will be boys”.

Equally both sexes can enjoy quiet time concentrating on a task. DS aged 2-3 used to spend hours building elaborate layouts for his train set, despite being generally very active and physical.

I have 2 DS and 1 DD. My casual observations are that once they start formal environments (early years of school) the boys seem to get into more trouble as they are less likely to want to sit down and do that form of structured learning. This is looking at my sons and daughter and listening to other parents and just generally what they say about the classroom etc.

My eldest DS was hard work as a young child, but he is absolutely lovely now. Very affectionate, sensitive and caring. My DD who was charm personified as a small child is harder work now, but absolutely knows when to turn it on and is a complete and utter angel at school for instance.

I’ve also found my DD to be a lot more self motivated. She’s extremely independent, wants to do everything and learn everything, whereas the boys are much less so (all treated the same).

I have both - son was definitely easier, much easier, they're both adult now. Daughter is easier now though.

As toddlers, I don't think there's any difference. At my daughter's playgroup there are some loud, confident, rambunctious little girls who pinball around the room knocking everything and everyone flying, and conversely some shy, clingy, passive little boys who don't leave their mums' knees. And every kind of personality in between.

I don't doubt that it all changes as they get older and socialisation really starts taking hold.

I think people see what they expect to see a lot of the time - so if they have an energetic boy it's 'boys are just like that!', while the converse is seen as an exception.

I do think the acceptable limits a lot of people apply to their kids do differ for boys and girls, even if they/we don't realise it. Plenty of studies that show that people (including teachers) who swear blind they treat boys and girls the same actually differ quite a lot in language, tone and even the boundaries of what's acceptable.

I've got two boys and noticed from the early days that my tolerance for what was acceptable was often different from other mums of boys... I do think girls probably get more constrained sooner. But both my boys are very different. One has been happy to spend hours on imaginary solo play from the age of two, the other develops deep obsessions and is all about learning facts. They both like the outdoors but are quite happy inside as well. I certainly don't think of them as puppies needing to be exercised....

It's such sexist bollock. I have brought up 4 kids (3 boys, 1 girl) ds1 and ds3 are easy going, mellow, inactive quiet kids. DS2 and DD1 are canterkerous, high energy, noisy, hard to manage bundles of joy.

Personality NOT sex.

As a mother of primary school boys I love to hear this!

My casual observations are that once they start formal environments (early years of school) the boys seem to get into more trouble as they are less likely to want to sit down and do that form of structured learning

Yes and I think denying there's any difference between the sexes can be quite damaging. I don't find boys get away with more..in fact I think they're often unfairly treated within the education system. Typical feminine behaviours are praised and rewarded at school...neatness, compliance, being quiet, sitting still. Boys are often demonized for not being like this.

DS was a clingy whingy baby who was a fairly placid toddler (with the odd tantrum at home) and although he has his moments, is a relatively calm happy child, if a bit fearful and prone to tears. He's not particularly boisterous or hyperactive and everyone at school and activities always says how compliant he is.

DD was the happiest calmest baby, discovered she could express her own opinions and then it all went downhill from there. Threw massive toddler tantrums, including meltdowns in the supermarket, and is still likely to strop and scream as a preschooler. We've had to stop a number of activities because she would lie on the floor glaring and refuse to join in. She needs very physical activities to keep her interested.

It's completely down to personality, imo

If you think boys are harder work it's probably because the parents use "boys will be boys" as a constant excuse for poor behavior.

I don’t think it’s true at all. I have two of each. Where do people get these ideas from???!!!

3 of my DS would have been easier than my DD! He was active and boisterous but very sweet with it and liked to please. DD was born with a will of iron, won't back down from an argument, ever and has driven me to the verge of tears from toddler up. So it's personality, not sex, that defines how easy they are.