AIBU to let my 2 year old wear a bikini?

[Bluebirds1987]

DH and I are staying in a holiday park and today we took DDs (2yr old and 8 month old) swimming in the pool. It was full of parents with children.

DH said just now that while we were there, he overheard some women looking at me and DD1, discussing that the bikini she was wearing "sexualised" her.

Its a Little Mermaid bikini with frilly detail and sparkly bits. DD1 Picked it out herself and she absolutely loves it. DH took great joy in chipping in that it's only sexualising her if you look at it that way, before telling them that's his daughter.

I honestly never even thought about it that way, to me she's just a little 2 year old girl in a Disney outfit and if I'd heard them I'd have been fuming! I have never come across anything like this before and it's the first time she's worn it, I'd like to think I can dress her in whatever she likes and feels confident in and that it's their problem they don't think it's appropriate, not mine.

But, I'm open for debate.

Were they out of order, or should I not let my 2 year old show her bare tummy in a public place?
Photo showing the bikini in question!

Also I totally get that her nipples don't "need" to be covered, but it would make for a very boring bikini if it was just the bottoms... You'd barely get a picture of Ariel on those so I'd have had to buy a costume with Ariel on instead but that would also cover her nipples when they don't need to be 🤦🤷

Why is ANY person showing their stomach viewed as ‘sexual’?!
What a revolting view, especially with a toddler wearing it

This!

@StarDolphins yeah I totally get that to be fair!

At that age my little one was just in towelling pants (pre rash vests) or a one piece. An imitation bra seemed unnecessary for a little one.
To me there is no need to cover up little girl's chests but I don't see that it makes much difference one way or the other.

It's other behaviours that can be more sexualising

@PixieLaLa exactly, also @Bluebirds1987 the pain, wet swimsuit, on and off for the toilet..I can still remember the effort (personally and with my 2 adult daughters)

I think if individuals think that bikini sexualises a toddler there is something wrong with them, not you.
My two girls loved bikinis like that - pink Barbie sparkly ones when little, even though one was very much a tomboy.

It is completely adorable and my own beautiful baby girl would love that too I’m sure! She loves to wear similar things (she’s a bit older) and I would never dream of thinking this outfit is strange or inappropriate! It’s entirely practical for toilet breaks too.

It’s absolutely fine OP. Adults talking about the sexualisation of toddlers whilst in a swimming pool is very bizarre, and actually rather concerning, behaviour. It says more about them than you!

It's a cute, pretty costume for a little girl, nothing sexual about it at all. If she was prancing around in it with tonged hair, fake tan and a face covered in make up, that would be somewhere else!

How about putting aside whether girls chests NEED to be covered up, maybe the child just likes the swim wear and it's really that simple.

Women and girls have a hard enough time with body image, clothing choices, criticism.... maybe we should just let little girls wear what they like without worrying about the local paedo or what some snobby Susan thinks about it.

Statistically those who abuse children like that is usually someone they know and trust. Not saying That there has never been a local paedo who spends his day at the beach watching for toddlers in bikinis but its far more likely that its someone they kmow who has regular close access to them.

If we were to think that way. Plus there are entire websites dedicated to foot fetishism or ankles or hair or shoulders or any part of the body.

Should we never let our kid go bare foot on the beach just in case

How miserable Do we have to make lives for our kids .

FYI there's also a museum some where with an exhibition called " this is what I was wearing" featuring not toddler bikinis or hot pants. But jeans and t shirts, and a set of children's pyjamas.

It makes nor one scrap of difference what the kid wears. A paedo is a paedo they will look at a child in that way whether he ir she is in a bathing suit or snow suit. All we are doing is telling a small child that no she can't wear her faviudisbey character because she is responsible at 2 fir how adults see her.

It's a lovely set of shorts and top for swimming and the Little Mermaid is a good theme for swimming. It makes swimming look fun!

At 2 she will be in arms reach anyway, so the next comment is more for the future. Blue swim wear can camouflage children in swimming pools so that is something to think of. Bright neon colours are meant to be better, but it depends where you normally swim what is 'best'. That's true for boys/girls/everyone.

I read the whole thread to check if this had been said - so really hoping I've not cross posted with anyone now!

Hmmm I didn’t wear a bikini top when I was that age. DM thought I looked so much like a boy (well who wouldn’t at that age?!) there was no need to wear anything on top at all!
I only upgraded to swimsuit when I started school.

Personally I prefer to swimsuits on older girls (5+) rather than bikinis purely because bikinis were designed to show off a woman’s figure. Bikinis have always been an adult clothing. It was quite provocative when first introduced in 1946 in Paris. It was so scandalous it wasn’t accepted in the USA 20 years later. Given the historical context of bikinis, a swimsuit would be better for a child. By the same logic, I don’t think children should wear crop top showing mid drift, fishnet stockings or high heels, impracticality aside, these have such strong social connotations they are unsuitable for children.

She's a child, if someone thinks her clothes sexualise her than that's their problem and they should probably be no where near children in the first place.

This. A bra top on a toddler is just not right

It is much easier to sort out loo breaks when toddlers are in bikinis. I learnt this from my sister and have just bought dd her first. It's got little fish on it and has a frill like yours, OP. If that's sexual there's no hope left in this world.
Ridiculous...and I refuse to imagine pedophiles lurking around every corner. That way madness lies.

I think bikinis do look like parents are trying to make their daughters look older/attractive. I think they look ridiculous and don't stay in place on children who don't have anything to keep them in place. I wouldn't say anything, loads of parents do it. But I hate seeing holiday pictures of my nieces in their tiny bikinis posing like they're young women. You can buy little mermaid swimwear that covers them and protect them from the sun and fits young bodies better.

Its not a bra top though. Its a cropped top.

And children wear bras anyway. A child who needs a bra is still a child.

Sexualising the chest of a child? What a ridiculous thing to say. It's not a bra, it's a kids top. Putting a kid in a top is not in any way sexualising them. Some very strange ideas on here

@Gizacluethen my daughter wore a bikini/tankini as a toddler as it was much easier to get her to the toilet without having accidents. I would be concerned about an adult who assumed I was trying to make my daughter more “attractive”. Your language is very strange.

As an adult, I don't wear bikini for sexy look, I prefer them over onepiece as they are more flexible in styles and sizes (I prefer shorts-styled bottom and well fitting swim-bra), more practical when changing outside and no unnecessary wet fabric.

I totally don't get why anyone should be deprived of those blessings of 2 piece just because they don't have big enough breasts or are "too young".

Yes, small children don't have to be covered at all, but the "nothing to put into" will be technically true even for 5, 8 or even some 10 years old, and I don't expect everyone would be comfortable with bare chest girls in that age, not even the girls themselves. If it is acceptable for someone to wear onepiece it is ok to wear the two-piece swimsuit as well. Yes, there is a question of taste, but the short tank top of OP's DD is totally fine.

Not all bikinis are love island style things and tiny triangles that barely cover the nipples.

There are many adult two piece sets that have chunky straps, don't show any cleavage, crop top style, high waisted/full brief bottoms.

I don't think many people would look at an adult woman and say she's trying to be sexy or sexualised in something like that in the same way as a skimpy bikini set.

There is a HUGE difference.

So why is it that a child can't wear something similar for comfort or just because they like it?

Love island
Style thongs **

If there is nothing sexualised or sex based (as in biological xx/xy) about little girls wearing cropped swimming tops why don't you get them for boys? For that age group most boys wear a two piece rash vest and trunks or short trunks, or a sleeved one piece, certainly at the pool we use and all of the other children at DS' swimming lessons. They get cold easily even in a warm pool and it means they double up for outdoor swimming, beach, paddling pool. Surely the same practical outfits are the right ones for girls too, otherwise we're teaching them that clothes are about display rather than function and that's not something we teach little boys. See also dressing up outfits with heeled shoes etc