AIBU to let my 2 year old wear a bikini?

[Bluebirds1987]

DH and I are staying in a holiday park and today we took DDs (2yr old and 8 month old) swimming in the pool. It was full of parents with children.

DH said just now that while we were there, he overheard some women looking at me and DD1, discussing that the bikini she was wearing "sexualised" her.

Its a Little Mermaid bikini with frilly detail and sparkly bits. DD1 Picked it out herself and she absolutely loves it. DH took great joy in chipping in that it's only sexualising her if you look at it that way, before telling them that's his daughter.

I honestly never even thought about it that way, to me she's just a little 2 year old girl in a Disney outfit and if I'd heard them I'd have been fuming! I have never come across anything like this before and it's the first time she's worn it, I'd like to think I can dress her in whatever she likes and feels confident in and that it's their problem they don't think it's appropriate, not mine.

But, I'm open for debate.

Were they out of order, or should I not let my 2 year old show her bare tummy in a public place?
Photo showing the bikini in question!

How can clothing be inappropriate without alluding to something about the person wearing it?

It depends what cup size she is.
My DDs did not wear bikini tops until they had something to cover, and they are not my cup pf tea on little ones - but clearly she chose it because it was a bit of fun, so I would certainly not see it as a reason to make comments.

I think there's a bit of difference in our weather. If it's a mildly warm day here, that could be our entire summer so you have to make the most of it! 😂

I’m pretty sure you’d think someone putting a g string or bra on a child is inappropriate wouldn’t you? Or are you not allowed to because that’s criticising a child’s body as well?

The ridiculous thing is, toddler/young girls two piece swimwear is nothing like a bikini.

They're usually crop tops and trunk style bottoms, and only show an inch or two of tummy/back. So wtf does it matter in comparison to a one piece?!

They're more practical for toilet training or going to the loo, more comfortable when drying off on the beach.

Everyone has their own taste and preferences and style and that's fine it would be boring if everyone was the same, but 'tacky' etc is a bit much.

It’s adorable and far more practical than a one piece for nappy changes/urgent toilet trips.

I don't even see that as a "bikini". Its swimwear for a 2 year old child. Speaks more of them to be honest.

Quite right. It’s literally just (very cute) swimwear. Nothing more, nothing less. I despair sometimes.

Ok let me sum it up what some posters are saying/ not realising they are saying:

”little boy absolutely fine to wear swimwear that basically outlines your penis because you’re male”
”little girl it’s really distasteful for you to wear a top that alludes to the fact that one day you will have boobs- because once you have boobs you’re basically a sexualised object”

So no top is fine.
Covered in swim suit or rash vest is fine.

Cover same area in a cropped vest and its sexualising a child

Ffs

9 year olds wear bras.

No wonder girls are binding their breasts if they are judged on what they wear as a bloody toddler.

Poor thing just liked ariel wtf is wrong with you all

Yep- god help the women of tomorrow if this is their sorority

I don't think children can be 'sexualised' because they're children. There's nothing sexual about them.

Your DH is right. A 2 year old cannot be sexualised imo, its the weird adults that obviously view children in some kind of sexual way. Wrong 'uns!

@Bluebirds1987 I think that outfit is ideal for a 2 year old (quick and easy for the toilet) a boy just wears trunks so why is society needing a toddler (girl) to wear anything more? You said that it's uk and an indoor pool, so no sun issues (unfortunately!) Enjoy your holiday and praise your daughters dad xxx

I think it's fab and remember on a holiday my probably similarly aged DD wanting a bikini as that was what her aunt and I were both wearing.

I struggle to understand the whole sexualising comments. Does that mean that she should be more covered up or she shouldn't be wearing the top?

I think the problem is that everyone is assumed to be some kind of sexual deviant until proven otherwise nowadays.

I'm sure she looked lovely.

My main concern was the comment that it was sexualised, and I'm glad it seems the majority don't think it is! That was all I was worried about really, if I'd missed some kind of toddler etiquette.

I don't think it's tacky, but then I guess it was cheap and a 2 year old chose it so maybe it is 🤣 I like it though and said toddler does - and yes, it's absolutely more practical for the recently toilet trained little person and she chooses it over her AIO every single time so there is no drama or meltdown or refusal to get dressed, and that in itself is almost worth accidentally sexualising her for 😂😂😂 (joke, definitely!! We are in the terrible twos!)

Funnily enough, am not keen on little girls just wearing bottoms. I have never given this any real thought until now, but I guess if you're talking about the need to cover up due to having breasts, but thar children don't have them so don't need to, then I suppose my own opinion could be seen as "sexualisation" too, but actually it's just a preference and I'd never given actual breasts any thought. You're so right though, that actually there's no need to cover up at all at their age.

I appreciate all the opinions!

Why do a small child’s nipples need to be covered up?

A T shirt or a rash vest is a garment that covers the whole top half, but a bikini top is designed to cover nipples and breasts. Because if their sexualised nature.

People on MN frequently protest about small girls wearing hijab because in hiding their hair it seems to assume that their hair could be sexualised.

How is covering a child’s nipples any different?

I don’t like seeing children in bikini tops. They are clothing for adult women who need to cover their breasts.

Ok, when we hit the penis outline hot takes, I'm out 🤣

OP - I'm sure your little girl looked adorable, those women were very rude, enjoy the rest of your holiday and be sure to glare at them at every opportunity. I love a holiday enemy!

The point is that yes, boys wear trunks, and why on earth do little girls need to be any more covered up than boys? Since they do not have breasts.

I don't think it's tacky, but then I guess it was cheap and a 2 year old chose it so maybe it is 🤣

@Bluebirds1987 hahahah! Just bought my nearly 2 year old the biggest tackfest pink t-shirt because she clearly loved it with her whole heart. What's the point in arguing?! ❤️

I think it’s strange to think you need to cover up at 2 year old’s nipples tbh, that’s why people think it’s sexualisation, because you’re sexualising the chest of a small female child thinking it’s something you need to cover up.

I prefer this or a tankini especially when toilet training! Much easier to whip down quickly

@Bluebirds1987 to answer your question. My reason is that I feel it’s inappropriate (not entirely sure why!) it’s not because of perverts looking at her, it’s more I want her to be a little girl that lives in an innocent bubble of ‘being a kid’ the only time she’s likely to see a bikini is on a grown-up woman with titties - or on a music video(at my ex’s house….but that’s another thread🤣) with said titties bouncing all over girating to entice whatever man is in the video! ! I see a bikini as a breast cover up I guess. But like I say, I’m not entirely sure, I just think I feel like they’re for grown-ups!

I would never judge/say anything to anyone I see with a child in a bikini though!

My dd did from 3.but is a 3pc so had a rash vest (she burns easily)) but its soo much easier when they need the loo to just pull down pants than have to try take off a whole swimsuit and pull it back up wet.

Personally i think it’s inappropriate, my DD is the same age and I like her wearing a sunsafe suit even if we are indoors.
I wouldn’t comment on it though, they were very rude.

So you wanna tell a 2 year old she can't wear the matching mermaids top because some men wank over adults breasts?

You wanna put that on 2 year old who just wants to build sand castles and hunt shells.

She is not responsible for adult men's behaviour. Don't make her so at 2.

So much easier for toileting! It’s not like it’s a padded bra. Mind you, with dd1 I was never going to let my Dd dress in hot pants and a crop top… dd3 is a dancer and loves hot pants and crop tops (and I let her wear them). Go with what works for you and if people think a 2 year old look sexualised in a bikini top I think it says more about them than you!

If people are stressing about the breasts being covered, why put dds in swim suits and not trunks like boys? Surely you’re just teaching that for girls, bottoms and breasts are private. Isn’t that a good message? Not sure a 2 year old is over thinking it to be honest.