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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

600 replies

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 15:25

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

OP posts:
Wizzbangfizz · 11/05/2022 21:23

I honestly don’t know what goes through mens heads sometimes. I can’t imagine anything worse than that restaurant YANBU

the80sweregreat · 11/05/2022 21:26

It looks very tacky and a bit 90s styling wise.
Who comes up with these novelty restaurants?
It's bad enough if you do get terrible service, let alone knowing it's going to be bad before you even get in there. I bet it ends up in a punch up some nights !!

Efrogwraig · 11/05/2022 21:27

That is not a lovely meal for your birthday. it's a nightmare. Who on earth would want that on their birthday. You deserve better. Just say no. (I live in Sheffield!)

ShandaLear · 11/05/2022 21:31

LampLighter414 · 11/05/2022 19:22

Don't be a Karen, give it a go

It's nice of him to have organised something and be willing to drive you 90 mins each way, with your children too

That just makes it 10 times worse. A three hour round trip with a pair of teens in the back just to go to a shitty burger bar and be insulted. Not in this lifetime.

Tonkerbea · 11/05/2022 21:33

YABU for being so passive! Say what you want for YOUR birthday. If you can't assert yourself with your own family, a crappy theme restaurant is the least of your problems.

Glumgal · 11/05/2022 21:39

From their website: "Karen's is not for the faint hearted but it's the perfect place to dine if you dislike your friends, family and colleagues." Wow! It looks shit and so does the menu. I'm not surprised you don't want to go. I'd be utterly pissed off if my DH booked this for my special birthday. I'd just boycott it completely and take yourself and DD off for a nice meal in Liverpool if I was you.
Happy Birthday! 💐

iRun2eatCake · 11/05/2022 21:40

So are you going or not?

Gymnopedie · 11/05/2022 21:40

OP is it telling that it's your D"S"S who spotted this and wants to go? Is DH playing Disney dad off the back of your birthday?

Noisyprat · 11/05/2022 21:40

So your DH has booked something he and your DS would like to do. It's YOUR birthday. You've said:

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

So not only do you just go along with it to appease your DH, even though it's your birthday, your DD also thinks this is just what you have to accept. You are going because you don't want to upset your DH. In a minute I'm expecting you'll tell us that you're driving as you 'don't drink much' and 'don't mind'. Bloody hell OP you're 50, stand up for yourself, do something you want to do for once and then keep doing it.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 11/05/2022 21:44

I wouldn't go end of. Just book somewhere else and refuse. It's your birthday
I would hate it.

AmberLynn1536 · 11/05/2022 21:46

SomersetONeil · 11/05/2022 18:56

I just don’t understand these threads.

You’ve said you don’t want to go - primarily because it sounds really shit and not the sort of thing you like.

In a normal relationship, you’d tell your husband and that’s the end of it.

But, no.

You’re obviously going to lie down, write ‘door mat’ on your forehead and let your family walk all over you.

And this thread will run and run while everyone froths over it, and the OP dithers hopelessly.

Just so, so strange. Confused

Everything i wanted to say! 👏👏

Butterbeer4All · 11/05/2022 21:48

Make the reservation for where YOU want to go and tell your DH the new plan.

ScurryfungeMaster · 11/05/2022 21:55

That sounds awful!! No wonder you're upset. I think I'd refuse to go and insist that he goes another time with his friends if he so pleases.

Dajeeling · 11/05/2022 21:56

Tell your husband to take your son sometime. It looks utterly shit. Karen’s diner- is Karen meant to be the owner or customers? Just odd/ confused and latching onto internet shite.

Resilience · 11/05/2022 21:57

It's YOUR birthday and a MILESTONE birthday at that! It's supposed to be about YOU and be something you really enjoy and look back on with happy memories.

I could just about forgive your DH for misjudging it (although given he's your 'D'H it does beg the question how much attention he's given your likes and dislikes over the years), but the ONLY appropriate response once you've told him you don't want that is to immediately cancel and find something you DO want.

What kind of crap DH would persevere with this? What's he like generally? Don't you dare let him make you feel 'ungrateful' or that you're being 'too sensitive' or 'lacking a sense of humour', which is a common response selfish partners give when challenged on their crap behaviour. Get angry!

Hopefully he'll wise up and do something lovely for you. Happy birthday.

Maverick101 · 11/05/2022 21:57

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 16:35

DH can be a bit of a jokester so I wouldn’t 100% rule out he’s actually booked somewhere really lovely and is winding me up, but I think seeing how upset (and tbh, anxious) I am about the booking at the Sheffield place he’d have come out with it.

Him and DSS really want to go, I think it genuinely is their plan.

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

Tell him clearly and firmly to cancel the booking (he and your DSS can go another time).

This is a milestone for you and should be all about what you want. And this would set and excellent example for your DD who already appears to be thinking that men's wants are more important than women's.

BMWqueen · 11/05/2022 22:01

What sort of stuff do the staff say or do ? I have never heard of this place and I only live round the corner practically (leeds)
lol x

RampantIvy · 11/05/2022 22:06

I hope the OP comes back to tell us it was a wind up.

alltheteeshirts · 11/05/2022 22:07

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 15:57

Apparently DSS17 mentioned it to him initially after seeing it on social media so I think it’s the pair of them that want to go. DD19 is coming as well but isn’t particularly bothered.

If it was one of their birthday’s and they’d wanted to go I probably would’ve put up with it and gone for them. But it’s my birthday and I wanted something I’d like. Also with it being my birthday I’m thinking the staff may interact with me/bother me the most.

So the men in the family want to go. Funny, that.

I would refuse, partly because the birthday person should get to enjoy themselves, but also because I will not support the weaponising of the name Karen. It's not my name, but any one of us could easily have our first name lifted and used in such a hurtful way. There by the grace of God and all that.

As a woman, I won't support any business who thinks it's acceptable to pick on women. It makes me deeply uncomfortable, and I feel really sorry for anyone called Karen who has had nasty connotations forever linked to a name that previously served them well their whole life long.

I don't think the people laughing would laugh so much if they were actually called Karen.

Pickabearanybear · 11/05/2022 22:08

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/05/2022 22:10

Dajeeling · 11/05/2022 21:56

Tell your husband to take your son sometime. It looks utterly shit. Karen’s diner- is Karen meant to be the owner or customers? Just odd/ confused and latching onto internet shite.

My theory, it's for customer Karens but with a grocer's apostrophe so it seems like it belongs to Karen.

kerosene20 · 11/05/2022 22:22

God I would be seething if this was my DH but it wouldn’t because he’s not a nob. Even worse it’s your 50th! DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT GO!!!! Go to a lovely restaurant in the Albert dock and enjoy your once in a lifetime 50th!

Hoardasaurusterf · 11/05/2022 22:25

Fuck that! What on earth was he thinking! It's not even a proper restaurant, just a burger bar. Which would be bad enough without the rudeness & insults😱 I was 50 on Sunday & had my birthday meal at a lovely Italian family run restaurant! I would have been so disappointed if my DH had booked a chain restaurant /burger bar never mind this hellhole!

stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou · 11/05/2022 22:28

Bit much, @SomersetONeil

NFLwidow · 11/05/2022 22:29

Have you got a hotel booked? If so I’d let them go for lunch and you go for a treatment somewhere or have a wander round the peaks or a park/Meadowhall. Sheffield town centre is grim. I can say that as I live here,

try and book something else for dinner. No name is lovely but really small so you might struggle to get in. Same with joro unless you get a cancellation. Tonco is lovely and juke and loe is fab plus you can have a few nice glasses of wine at Harriet’s on Ecclesall road before. Rafters is also lovely and they have a great bar.

Hope you manage to salvage your birthday!