To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

[trapperjohna]

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

This sounds like an awful restaurant/diner and I'm surprised that there is actually a call for it, considering that people complain when they receive bad service or rude staff, but to actually pay for it 🤷

It's not your thing and judging by the responses it's not most people's thing. If they want to go, let them go another night that isn't your birthday. You don't need to be insulted on your birthday.

A 90 minute trip there and back sounds crap too, you'll spend most of your night in the car, only one person will be able to have a drink, or will he expect you to drive? For that type of place I think I'd need to be inebriated to get through it.

So what he thinks you're worth is a 3 hour round trip to a restaurant that serves burgers, insults you has rubbish service and you're meant to enjoy it and find it fun. Nah feck that, list out the restaurants you like, it's your birthday after all, as he doesn't seem to know you or understand that a person who was bullied won't enjoy a place like this.

A burger bar with intentionally shitty staff and a misogynistic theme for a 50th birthday celebration??

Just say no. Tell your DH he can take his DS there for his birthday. If he continues to be a twat just and book a nice place for you and your DD.

Obviously we know what it is I wasn't meaning that. What I was referring to was the reviews about the actual food and how long they had to wait. If the focus of the restaurant is to insult people then the food isn't going to be great I can guarantee.

Just without the awkward intelligence and critical thinking?😁Keep trying. 😏

@madasawethen

I was imagining a waiting staff of gobby boys/young men. If it’s really mostly young women then it’s only a matter of time before we see a bunch of stories about people saying sexual stuff back to them, them complaining (possibly over Twitter) and there being some kind of controversy probably resulting in the place closing. Heck even if people just insult there looks back it’s still just a matter of time before one becomes offended and goes to Twitter about it.

Even the building and area look horrible looking on Google maps. The whole point of me wanting to go in to Liverpool was to have a nice walk around the docks afterwards.

This sounds like an awful restaurant/diner and I'm surprised that there is actually a call for it,

Idiots have to eat somewhere.

I saw an ad for it.

Id love it! But if you wouldnt, then its a no!

Great when is DSS18? Rebook for then.

Has he cancelled the booking and booked something else?

Yes it was for him.
Yes he is selfish.
YANBU for being really upset.

So what are you going to do about it? Did he really refuse to cancel after you told him you wouldn't like it? That's absolutely horrible of him. Please don't go

So just tell him you aren't going then.

At best your DH is an inconsiderate pillock who doesn’t know you as well as you probably hope. At worst he’s sabotaging your milestone birthday by choosing something he knows you won’t enjoy then telling you you’re the unreasonable one when you say you don’t want to go. And a hefty “bugger that!” to DD’s suggestion of keeping the peace! That’s not keeping the peace that’s appeasing bumptious men in order not to hurt their feelings. It’s not about them. Phone the restaurant and cancel the booking. Take charge of your birthday and plan the evening you actually want to have.

Tell him you're not going and book somewhere nice for you and your DD that YOU want to go to.

Don't give this any more thought, you're not going end of!

As you say, pp it looks like it's in a horrible area as well. More importantly, listen to all the pps about the message that this gives your daughter - both in terms of putting up with things to please men, and the obvious misogyny.

Personally, I'd ring the place myself and cancel it. Bad enough for your birthday but for your 50th?
Your husband doesn't seem to have paused to think about what you would like, just what he fancies which is missing the point of whose birthday it is. Politely, he's being a prat.
Book somewhere you want to go, and they can 'make the best of it' instead - don't be a martyr!

Just tell him to cancel it and don’t back down. There will still be availability at the other restaurants. Don’t be made to feel ungrateful because he is trying to pass off something he wants to do for your birthday.

Why on earth should you make the best of it? It’s a restaurant booking not a bloody non-refundable trip to the moon!

Choose the restaurant YOU want and insist it is booked today, in Liverpool, as you wanted. It’s your birthday and so your choice. If your SS and husband want to do this another time then off they go. And have a word with your daughter as well for saying you should go along with it and ask her why she is so passive to her step brother and father’s selfish choice to do something only they would like and you would actively hate on YOUR milestone birthday.

"My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it."

No!!!Do not teach her that it's ok for women to be expected to trail along on an hour and a half journey to have a shit time and be abused, and pretend to enjoy it, on what is supposed to be a day when your happiness should take centre stage, just to keep a man happy. WTAF?

Get into the spirit of it now by telling him to shove it and for goodness sake book somewhere half decent.

If he really wants to have the novelty experience of rudeness and unkind personal insults, get him to make a fake dating profile pretending to be a heterosexual woman and he can enjoy all the negging he can eat.

This. Just tell your DH that you won't be going, refuse to discuss it any more, and book a place you like for you and your dd.

As for "spoilsport" - you aren't the one spoiling your own birthday. He can fuck off with that nonsense.

Please, don’t go. I know someone who went and they hated it. The staff are not only rude but incredibly spiteful.I would question anyone who finds bullying of others a source of entertainment. Being rude is one thing - the staff of Wong Kei in Chinatown in London are hilariously rude, but it’s not personal. The staff at Karen’s take delight in putting others down, calling people freaks for being vegan, calling someone a ginger four eyed weirdo. . I would not give them a penny of my money.

www.examinerlive.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/life-waiter-karens-diner-sheffield-23866978

Happy Birthday, fuck you!?!
Nope. Hell nope. Awful concept.
The guy in the interview says he will not comment on weight...but paying to be roasted/insulted/confronted
Free drink if you are called Karen. My eyes are rolling back into my head.

Haven’t read the whole thread but I don’t think I’d fancy this and I definitely agree that, as your the birthday person, you should get something you enjoy.

And hahaha a 90 minute trip to a shitty burger bar where you pay for some twats to insult you? Pathetic. Honestly OP just tell them no right now and book what you want. If the worst comes to the worst have a night you and your daughter where you can both discuss how you won’t bow down to selfish men who make decisions based on their preferences when it’s supposed to be a special occasion for a woman in their lives they care for.

www.squaremeal.co.uk/restaurants/karens-diner-sheffield_23136

charming photo