Page 4 | How to tell someone their knickers are showing ?

Fifi0102 · 2022-05-11T06:03:51+00:00

I really don't want to sound like a bitch 😩. There's a woman at work who started a couple of weeks ago. I'm on a secondment she keeps wearing see through leggings and you can see her top tucked into her knickers , we are in a patient facing role. I really don't want to hurt her feelings but I feel like it's just a matter of time before a patient or relative says something. How do you tell someone sensitively ?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 12/05/2022 10:42

camel's toe or moose knuckle

What's the difference?

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 12/05/2022 11:39

murasaki · 11/05/2022 09:09

Potted is correct. Leggings are not trousers. And, a bit like spandex and lycra, should be a privilege not a right.

😂Depends if she was provoked or not.

SleepingFrog · 12/05/2022 14:22

I have this problem regularly as I teach teenage girls for PE and they regularly wear leggings, some of which are sport ones (beware ladies these definitely DO go see through in the right light or position 🤦) and some are just unlucky that theirs are quite see through.

Rather than let them walk around like that I address it with them on a 1:1 level. I'm fortunate that I am a teacher and female so it's less awkward than with a colleague but it's just as important to address it respectfully as I work hard to have positive relationships with the children I teach. In my situation I can tell them not to wear the leggings again which does also make it easier.

How about phrasing it as "I've noticed your leggings are quite see through and just wanted to make sure you knew this? I've had it happen to me before and was so glad someone pointed it out. Maybe it's just the lighting in here causing it?!" verbalise it in a light-hearted way at the end of their work day and not around others. I don't think you need to go as brash as admitting you can see her knickers- she will figure this out from what you're saying.

Personally I'd rather hear it from a colleague than in a sit down with a line manager 🤣

MassiveSalad22 · 13/05/2022 09:07

I don’t understand the ‘I would want to know’ types - I just think no, you want to embarrass me 😄 has it actually happened to you and you’ve been grateful?

I’m going to sound like a real slob here but I once did the school run with my dress inside out - a mum told me at the gates so I had to walk the whole way home self conscious about it (luckily it was the same both sides so only the labels gave it away). I would much rather just realised for myself when I got home and told myself that no one else noticed. Also after a spin class once this woman told me my leggings were see through so again I just had to walk around knowing that! Great!

Singlebutmarried · 13/05/2022 09:17

I would want to know.

I copped an eyeful at the gym the other day. Resting between sets and I glanced over one the lady opposite me had very see through gym leggings and no knickers.

I was going to try and catch her at the end of the session but she stayed behind to chat with the PT.

I’ve not seen her since, but I’d she’s there today I will somehow let her know. I’ve had best part of a week to work out how to phrase it but still don’t know what to say.

5128gap · 13/05/2022 09:34

MassiveSalad22 · 13/05/2022 09:07

I don’t understand the ‘I would want to know’ types - I just think no, you want to embarrass me 😄 has it actually happened to you and you’ve been grateful?

I’m going to sound like a real slob here but I once did the school run with my dress inside out - a mum told me at the gates so I had to walk the whole way home self conscious about it (luckily it was the same both sides so only the labels gave it away). I would much rather just realised for myself when I got home and told myself that no one else noticed. Also after a spin class once this woman told me my leggings were see through so again I just had to walk around knowing that! Great!

Tbh I think there is a strong element of wanting to shame and embarrass other women with this particular issue (which is entirely different from obvious inadvertent 'malfunctions' like tags, stains etc and seems to be a bit of a MN obsession) People are being rather disingenuous by claiming to believe the women MUST be unaware and its a kindness to point it out.
They know full well that its something that's become more acceptable and that a lot of women know and don't care. They just personally disapprove, and want other women to dress to their own preferences. The language used by some to express their disgust, particularly towards older or fatter women (no surprises there!) makes this plain.

starlingdarling · 13/05/2022 20:13

They know full well that its something that's become more acceptable and that a lot of women know and don't care. They just personally disapprove, and want other women to dress to their own preferences.

I work at the kind of place where you can wear hoodies or trainers to work. I have yet to work somewhere it's deemed acceptable wear see through clothes and have your underwear on show.

5128gap · 13/05/2022 21:32

starlingdarling · 13/05/2022 20:13

They know full well that its something that's become more acceptable and that a lot of women know and don't care. They just personally disapprove, and want other women to dress to their own preferences.

I work at the kind of place where you can wear hoodies or trainers to work. I have yet to work somewhere it's deemed acceptable wear see through clothes and have your underwear on show.

The discussion has moved beyond acceptable work place attire though hasn't it? The people commenting are speaking about women they've seen in the street, where obviously it is fairly commonly seen or so many wouldn't have seen it. If its a problem in the OPs workplace doubtless the manager will address it.

erikbloodaxe · 14/05/2022 04:25

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea what's the difference between a camels toe and a moose knuckle.........about 3 stone.

Maireas · 14/05/2022 07:35

erikbloodaxe · 11/05/2022 14:38

I'd rather see her knickers than a camel's toe or moose knuckle.
I had a colleague who had a thing for younger men (she was 63) and came to work in leggings sporting an upside down McDonalds sign from the front.
She was happy although the young male colleagues looked frightened 🤣

Are they 12? They should just ignore her.

Maireas · 14/05/2022 07:39

I wouldn't say anything. I have colleagues that wear leggings and short tops, it's definitely a fashion. I just avert my eyes.

Pottedpalm · 14/05/2022 07:48

i don’t think leggings alone on the bottom half are appropriate workwear unless in a sport/fitness setting.
Would it be acceptable for men to rock up in cycle shorts, seethrough or otherwise?

5128gap · 14/05/2022 08:06

Pottedpalm · 14/05/2022 07:48

i don’t think leggings alone on the bottom half are appropriate workwear unless in a sport/fitness setting.
Would it be acceptable for men to rock up in cycle shorts, seethrough or otherwise?

Well its seemingly acceptable for them to rock up in trousers so poorly fitting due to their huge bellies that every time they bend, or you inadvertently walk behind their chair you're subjected to a view of naked hairy arse crack. Perhaps there should be a thread about how to tell men we can see their arse at work?