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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about more odd family beliefs??

162 replies

Latenightthoughts111 · 10/05/2022 16:51

Hi again!

following on from my coke can/eating in the street/prostitution thread it got me thinking a LOT about my childhood and I’ve thought of some other odd things I’d like to see if we have in common or not

prefacing this with I am late 80s born to a late 40s DM

main one is only doing one thing per day. DM literally can only do one “thing” a day. Go to Asda? That’s it. Meal out? Yes that’s it then nothing else. Market day in the morning? Sure but that’s it not opening the door to do anything else today thank u!

this was all through my childhood and still now. I honestly was baffled when I heard of people popping to the shops when they’ve already been out that day!!!

another one similar is going out after dark. To be going out after sundown is soooo awesome I love it. It feels taboo to go to Aldi when it’s dark outside and all the buses are lit up. It’s magical! I wish I was joking 😂it was completely forbidden, or to be honest not even discussed, to go out for dinner or anything after school as it was too dark. We never ever went out on a Sunday either. Not massively religious but Sunday was a proper “get ready for school” day with my one bath a week!

any others out there who still feel the joy of the forbidden 6pm journey out into the great beyond???

OP posts:
Summerholidayorcovidagain · 10/05/2022 16:52

Sunday night was bath night so couldn't possibly see friends on a Sunday.

Latenightthoughts111 · 10/05/2022 20:07

Summerholidayorcovidagain · 10/05/2022 16:52

Sunday night was bath night so couldn't possibly see friends on a Sunday.

yes exactly! But why???

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 10/05/2022 20:21

Swimming.

My parents were obsessed with swimming. No matter what the occasion we would always manage to fit a “quick swim” in.

School summer fair - “time to go now darling - we are going to stop off at the pool on the way home”. It was not on the way home. In fact you have to drive past our house to get from school to the pool.

We’d swim as a family twice a week, both me and my brother would go to lessons / swimming club a couple of times a week, my dad would go for an evening swim three times a week and my mum was a frigging swimming teacher. So went to the pool every single day. And still found time to go after work at least once a week for “relaxation”.

They are now retired and happily swim every day. Went to visit them at Xmas - “bring your swimming things - I’ve booked us all in”. Ditto Easter. Summer holiday a big group of us are going - the hotel has 7 pools. They are very happy!

Sadly neither me nor my brother are Olympic swimmers although we are both pretty good in the water.

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 10/05/2022 20:58

I'm a bit like your mum, OP. Because herding small children around to various places is utterly exhausting... One outing per day I can cope with.

Crocky · 10/05/2022 21:03

If you are planning to do something you have to get up early and get it done.
I was visiting a friend in my twenties and it got to about two in the afternoon and she suggested we took a trip to a shopping centre. I couldn’t get my head around just spontaneously going somewhere in the middle of the afternoon.

Latenightthoughts111 · 10/05/2022 21:41

Crocky · 10/05/2022 21:03

If you are planning to do something you have to get up early and get it done.
I was visiting a friend in my twenties and it got to about two in the afternoon and she suggested we took a trip to a shopping centre. I couldn’t get my head around just spontaneously going somewhere in the middle of the afternoon.

Is this something you consciously try and stop? Or do you not go out your comfort zone and do more than one thing? I agree with the spontaneity I can’t get used to it at all either!

OP posts:
Crocky · 10/05/2022 21:46

I’m still a get up and go early sort of person if I have something planned. Old habits 😆 but if I decide that actually I quite fancy doing something later on I will go and do it.

growinggreyer · 10/05/2022 21:51

Not wearing new clothes straight away. I always have to hang clothes up for a week or two until I feel 'right' about wearing them. Sometimes I buy something and I have to force myself to wear it that day or the next day because it feels too new. I think it is because we used to be bought clothes for special occasions eg the new term at school and had to wait until then to wear them.

mubarak86 · 10/05/2022 21:53

GPs were only for terminally ill people and you couldn't possibly make an appointment unless your life was at grave risk. DM repeatedly told me (when I was sick and asked for an appointment) that if the doctor didn't like your reason for attending that they'd strike you off and you'd never been seen ever again. I only went several times as a child until adulthood and we got sweets beforehand to eat in the waiting room as it was a very special day (but nerve-wracking incase we were struck off!) As a result I'm quite negligent with the dc and on the very odd occasion I do see a GP I'm constantly thanking them for seeing me.

ShirleyPhallus · 10/05/2022 21:55

My MIL has a thing about getting everything done before about 9am and if everyone isn’t up and dressed by 7am she feels the whole day has been wasted

My own parents had rules around food - one bag of crisps per day, one glass of juice etc. It makes me feel utterly rebellious to ever have more than one bag of crisps.

Also we weren’t allowed ketchup with anything tomatoey, so ketchup and baked beans on the same plate was strictly forbidden.

UndertheCedartree · 10/05/2022 22:00

Latenightthoughts111 · 10/05/2022 16:51

Hi again!

following on from my coke can/eating in the street/prostitution thread it got me thinking a LOT about my childhood and I’ve thought of some other odd things I’d like to see if we have in common or not

prefacing this with I am late 80s born to a late 40s DM

main one is only doing one thing per day. DM literally can only do one “thing” a day. Go to Asda? That’s it. Meal out? Yes that’s it then nothing else. Market day in the morning? Sure but that’s it not opening the door to do anything else today thank u!

this was all through my childhood and still now. I honestly was baffled when I heard of people popping to the shops when they’ve already been out that day!!!

another one similar is going out after dark. To be going out after sundown is soooo awesome I love it. It feels taboo to go to Aldi when it’s dark outside and all the buses are lit up. It’s magical! I wish I was joking 😂it was completely forbidden, or to be honest not even discussed, to go out for dinner or anything after school as it was too dark. We never ever went out on a Sunday either. Not massively religious but Sunday was a proper “get ready for school” day with my one bath a week!

any others out there who still feel the joy of the forbidden 6pm journey out into the great beyond???

I am a bit like that about doing one main thing as I get very overwhelmed and mentally tired.

With my parents you could never have a quick meal. It always involved full on laying of table, preparing things and decanting things into bowls and jugs. So if we went on holiday and were leaving early we couldn't just grab a bowl of cereal.

mubarak86 · 10/05/2022 22:04

Another thing my family are really odd about is being 'beholden' to someone for the smallest of things, even close family members. You cannot possibly let someone give you a lift, even if it's on their way without buying them a gift, so that you don't owe them anything. I thought this was totally normal until I got married and was pleasantly surprised that people did favours for each other, without money or gifts being exchanged.

Anotherusernamethisweek · 10/05/2022 22:46

I mean kind of the same kind of not but when I moved in with my first boyfriend (7 months pregnant) I was so surprised when him and his family just fixed broken things. Light out, changed the same day. Toaster broke, got a new one.
I swear the bathroom light broke when I was 12 and we bathed by candle light for six fucking years. Not kidding. Blew my mind you could just fix things.

Sapphirensteel · 10/05/2022 22:55

mubarak86 · 10/05/2022 21:53

GPs were only for terminally ill people and you couldn't possibly make an appointment unless your life was at grave risk. DM repeatedly told me (when I was sick and asked for an appointment) that if the doctor didn't like your reason for attending that they'd strike you off and you'd never been seen ever again. I only went several times as a child until adulthood and we got sweets beforehand to eat in the waiting room as it was a very special day (but nerve-wracking incase we were struck off!) As a result I'm quite negligent with the dc and on the very odd occasion I do see a GP I'm constantly thanking them for seeing me.

Oh God, my mother was the same. You mustn’t bother the doctor. As a result I was left with a horrendous UTI as a child ( told it was my own fault for eating sugar biscuits (Nice biscuits?) Was very ill as a result of it. Very bizarre.

Punkypinky · 10/05/2022 22:58

I can relate to so many of these!

The weird one in my family is no one ever seems to want to take a house key out with them. If they want to go out they go around asking everyone in the house if they'll still be there when they get back so they "don't need to bother taking a key". As if a key is a giant cumbersome thing to carry around. Takes forever to leave the house. Drives me batty!

PakkaMakka · 10/05/2022 23:01

Re going out after dark - not my family, but when I was in my early twenties I volunteered for a befriending service and visited an older lady. She was fascinated that me and my friends would go into town in the evenings. In her day, nice girls weren't allowed in the city after 8pm apparently! If you were seen after that time you'd be talked about.

A slightly sad one in my house, my mum's bf was controlling, and while he lived in our house he didn't share - he had his own mug, his seat on the sofa, etc. I remember being in halls at uni and being really freaked out that people would help themselves to mugs in the cupboard to make a brew for visitors and not check with them first. Also used to go round the (9!) people I shared the flat with to check if it was convenient for me to use the bathroom for a shower. They were all very nice to me but it must have seemed really odd!

kieronsmum · 10/05/2022 23:05

back to school after the weekend

Gawdimold · 10/05/2022 23:06

We could only eat chocolate biscuits on a Thursday when my grandad came for tea. Rest of the week was cheap shitty rich tea ones

kieronsmum · 10/05/2022 23:09

i thought my last post would quote about sunday bath night

PakkaMakka · 10/05/2022 23:09

@Anotherusernamethisweek same! Never realised anyone elses family were like this... Have you been able to adjust as an adult? I still put up with broken things by habit (learned helplessness?) and DH has to gently remind me that we can get things repaired/replaced.
When I was tiny my parents started to redecorate the house, so stripped wallpaper in a couple of rooms. Separated midway through and nothing was touched. Still had walls with half the paper stripped off when I left home 15yrs later. We lived without an oven for months because ours broke, no heating in one room (looking back probably radiators needed bleeding) and no toilet seat for 10+ years. We weren't well off but it wasn't down to poverty, it was just an expectation that somehow someone else should swoop in and fix things and if noone did, you just worked around it.

Ayeayeaye · 10/05/2022 23:09

The fridge was only to be opened for 2 seconds to quickly grab what you need then close it. My mother used to lose her shit if I had the fridge door open any longer. Absolutely no standing with the door open looking ponderously at the contents, no way.

ObjectionHearsay · 10/05/2022 23:11

We have to cover mirrors in thunder and lightning storms. It must be done. Cover the mirror or turn it around.

This has been a family thing for like 200 years.

I also do it, because to be honest I'm sorta scared that if I don't do it something bad will happen and the whole family will be cursed or something, and I am not taking responsibility for that. 😂

MarmiteCoriander · 10/05/2022 23:24

My nan (now 101) insisted on many things when my mother was young in the 1950's/60's and even carried onto my childhood growing up in the 80's/90's. I'm not sure if they are that unusual for the time, but might be odd to others?

  • Dont eat apple pips because a tree with grow inside you!
  • Don't eat cherry pips because they will lodge in your appendix
  • Dinner is served at 6am SHARP
  • Vegetables were boiled in salted water and greens also included bicarb, Nan would then also add another liberal amount of salt after plating up!
  • Bacon was cooked by floating/boiling in 4cm of lard
  • Nan never drinks from a can or even a straw. She carries a collapsible cup in her handbag at all time.
MarmiteCoriander · 10/05/2022 23:24

I forgot- no showers or phone calls during a storm.

autienotnaughty · 10/05/2022 23:26

Baths mon, Wednesday , Friday
Set teas - spag bol, lamb chops, braising steak, fish n chips, bacon sarnies, meat pie, roast dinner.
Wrapped biscuits (Kit kat etc) only on a weekend
No phone call before 6pm
No heating March- September
No fast food/takeaway ( except fish and chips)