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Original poster

To ask about more odd family beliefs??

162 replies

Latenightthoughts111 · 10/05/2022 16:51

Hi again!

following on from my coke can/eating in the street/prostitution thread it got me thinking a LOT about my childhood and I’ve thought of some other odd things I’d like to see if we have in common or not

prefacing this with I am late 80s born to a late 40s DM

main one is only doing one thing per day. DM literally can only do one “thing” a day. Go to Asda? That’s it. Meal out? Yes that’s it then nothing else. Market day in the morning? Sure but that’s it not opening the door to do anything else today thank u!

this was all through my childhood and still now. I honestly was baffled when I heard of people popping to the shops when they’ve already been out that day!!!

another one similar is going out after dark. To be going out after sundown is soooo awesome I love it. It feels taboo to go to Aldi when it’s dark outside and all the buses are lit up. It’s magical! I wish I was joking 😂it was completely forbidden, or to be honest not even discussed, to go out for dinner or anything after school as it was too dark. We never ever went out on a Sunday either. Not massively religious but Sunday was a proper “get ready for school” day with my one bath a week!

any others out there who still feel the joy of the forbidden 6pm journey out into the great beyond???

OP posts:
Bornsloppy · 12/05/2022 09:13

DP:
Can only go out once a day

Can only do a shop once a week, if they run out of something they must "make do" till next shop despite living a two minute walk from a Tesco Express. This has always been the same.

No shoes past the doormat, even if there's 4 of you trying to get in out of the rain. No, you have to wait your turn to take your shoes off immediately as you enter.

In-laws:
Go the same places on the same day every week

Always have a snack with a glass of wine/beer like they're running a bar in Barcelona. Both wonder why they can't loose weight.

Will never open a window in the house even when it's boiling hot. DH is now a committed window opener.

sueelleker · 12/05/2022 10:04

Pollydonia · 12/05/2022 07:32

If going to a friends house having to phone home and only let it ring twice before putting it down as the " I'm safe" signal.

My Mum asked us to do that after we'd visited (myself and DH)

sueelleker · 12/05/2022 10:05

Help19376 · 12/05/2022 08:43

My stepdad used to leave laminated pass agg notes everywhere (still does even though it's only him and my long-suffering mum at home). Faves include:

'SLIPPERS ONLY' on the kitchen and bathroom doors

'Use scissors to cut a small bunch of grapes. Don't pull them off leaving a 'skeleton' (it makes the fruit bowl look messy)

List of morning chores suddenly appeared stuck to my bed

Wasn't allowed to close my bedroom door because the flat needed to air

Wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything without asking

Did he have a collection of pre-laminated notes, or did he do them fresh every time?

ChrissyShenkle · 12/05/2022 11:02

Mum answering the phone in her " posh" voice and saying the number " Hellair, Cracknafuddin 54456"

Original poster
Latenightthoughts111 · 12/05/2022 11:08

Bornsloppy · 12/05/2022 09:13

DP:
Can only go out once a day

Can only do a shop once a week, if they run out of something they must "make do" till next shop despite living a two minute walk from a Tesco Express. This has always been the same.

No shoes past the doormat, even if there's 4 of you trying to get in out of the rain. No, you have to wait your turn to take your shoes off immediately as you enter.

In-laws:
Go the same places on the same day every week

Always have a snack with a glass of wine/beer like they're running a bar in Barcelona. Both wonder why they can't loose weight.

Will never open a window in the house even when it's boiling hot. DH is now a committed window opener.

Yes to the window opening! I’ve never known a window open in my mums house in all my life and I’ve never had one open in mine only on holiday…as a treat!

OP posts:
whatinthenameofhen · 12/05/2022 11:19

Never be seen at your front door in your dressing gown/pyjamas.
Never use the front door to enter the house - have to use the back door.
Staying in the house on a sunny or dry day was a cardinal sin.
Never drink from a can before wiping first.
Never sit on a public loo seat - always hover.
Never brush your hair in public.
Always open the window after showering/bathing to let the steam out or else and dry shower or bath with a towel.
Never spill anything or your life is not worth living!
Always pronounce 'getting' properly no glottal stop.
Never ever use a toilet brush.
I could go on! Maybe these are all commonplace.

the80sweregreat · 12/05/2022 11:21

Some people say that opening windows in hot weather makes the situation worse ! I have them all open , even in colder weather I might open one or two a tiny bit for a little while to air a room , but it's amazing how many people don't.
A lot of these rules ( my parents had many ) are mostly money related I suppose. My parents managed , but only just, but anything seen as treats were off the menu or saved up for over the year or only using the landline phone for real emergencies, turning off the heating and lights not owning a car or having any snacks in the house , you just ate what was put in front of you, no choices.
Taking shoes off is to protect the carpets.
It was how so many of us lived.

MermaidEyes · 12/05/2022 12:14

Pollydonia · 12/05/2022 07:32

If going to a friends house having to phone home and only let it ring twice before putting it down as the " I'm safe" signal.

Yes! I still did that as an adult after I'd been for a visit - then mobiles came along and now everyone just texts instead!

Fizbosshoes · 12/05/2022 13:50

Based on the views from the last thread like this, I felt really paranoid about going to an event at my DDs school today with (slightly) wet hair!!

I had been for a run first and allowed 30 min from getting back from the run, to leaving the house for the school - enough time to cool down, shower, hair wash, change, brush teeth etc but not enough to fully dry hair. I hope no one had thought I had been through a trauma, or that my home-life is somehow chaotic Blush

Magenta82 · 12/05/2022 14:37

I very rarely dry my hair, whenever I go to stay with my parents my mum makes a point of telling me where the hair dryer is, it really really bothers her!

CoffeeLover90 · 12/05/2022 14:42

Punkypinky · 10/05/2022 22:58

I can relate to so many of these!

The weird one in my family is no one ever seems to want to take a house key out with them. If they want to go out they go around asking everyone in the house if they'll still be there when they get back so they "don't need to bother taking a key". As if a key is a giant cumbersome thing to carry around. Takes forever to leave the house. Drives me batty!

OMG my family did this! I forgot all about it until I read your comment. It's so weird 🤣

Fizbosshoes · 12/05/2022 16:36

My DH rarely takes keys out and leaves saying "you're not going out are you?"
He feels really aggrieved if I am going out but I'm not sure why he never knows where his keys are! And if he goes out late and then I have to wait up in case he knocks at the door!

WoodlandWalks123 · 12/05/2022 22:54

Help19376 · 12/05/2022 08:43

My stepdad used to leave laminated pass agg notes everywhere (still does even though it's only him and my long-suffering mum at home). Faves include:

'SLIPPERS ONLY' on the kitchen and bathroom doors

'Use scissors to cut a small bunch of grapes. Don't pull them off leaving a 'skeleton' (it makes the fruit bowl look messy)

List of morning chores suddenly appeared stuck to my bed

Wasn't allowed to close my bedroom door because the flat needed to air

Wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything without asking

OMG the skeleton grapes making the bowl untidy…love it!! This has really tickled me!!!

HRTQueen · 12/05/2022 23:10

was anyone else’s fruit bowl also lost property

the fruit bowl always had in a selection of screws, odd buttons, safety pins, thimble, keys, elastic bands, those round batteries to name a few items

if something small couldn’t be found my nanny would ask is it in the fruit bowl? 🤔

Gliblet · 13/05/2022 07:57

HRTQueen · 12/05/2022 23:10

was anyone else’s fruit bowl also lost property

the fruit bowl always had in a selection of screws, odd buttons, safety pins, thimble, keys, elastic bands, those round batteries to name a few items

if something small couldn’t be found my nanny would ask is it in the fruit bowl? 🤔

Ours still is Grin

Original poster
Latenightthoughts111 · 13/05/2022 13:25

Gliblet · 13/05/2022 07:57

Ours still is Grin

Show quote history

Yessss hahahah love the idea of a lost property fruit bowl

OP posts:
Punkypinky · 13/05/2022 13:33

@CoffeeLover90 glad it's not just me with a key avoiding relatives. 😀

Hollygolightly86 · 13/05/2022 13:34

At meal times my parents insisted on putting every single food group in serving dishes all separately on table for us to help ourselves..every single meal. I got a shock when I went to a friends house and it was already served up on one plate..didn’t know people did that until I was about 5!

GremlinDolphin4 · 13/05/2022 15:00

This is such an interesting thread! My own parents were completely against eating or drinking in the street (ex fish n chips!) as it made you look “cheap”, drinking straight out of drinks cans, using tampons, washing your hair more than once a week, hair conditioner (makes your hair greasy!), repairing things, clothes not being aired properly, etc etc although I think of them as being quite normal! Xx

BowerOfBramble · 13/05/2022 15:55

My mum loves a lie in herself, but when I'm staying she often decides to burst into my room at 7,30am on Sunday saying "You're not still asleep are you?! You're wasting the best part of the morning."

Similarly she thinks if we leave the house after 11am we've wasted the day. I really struggle with this one in my own life, often feel quite miserable if heading out somewhere at say 2pm.

Doing one thing a day e.g. Monday is step class. Never mind that step class only lasts 45 minutes and takes place in the morning. That's it.

LakieLady · 13/05/2022 16:25

the80sweregreat · 11/05/2022 13:24

We were watching the ' it's a sin ' drama on Channel 4 and the landlord said to his new tenant ' no phone calls till after six o clock ' Dh and I started laughing , ds 2 just looked puzzled !! 😂
It was a phone call rate thing back then. We didn't get a landline until I was 12. Then it was almost under lock and key and scarcely used and if you did use it they wouldn't be happy until you hung up!

We didn't get a phone till I was 14. We only got it then because my DF went to work in Germany and there might be a need to get hold of him in an emergency (or vice versa).

They actually got a special little lock that went on the dial (no keypads on phones back then) and I had to ask for the phone to be unlocked if I wanted to use it.

I told my niece this, and she found it so hilarious she immediately told her mum, my SIL. Turns out that their parents did exactly the same!

Other odd ideas that my family had were DM's opinion that it had to be high summer before it was acceptable for women to go out with bare legs (her yardstick was "not until after Henley"), going to bed with wet hair would give you neuralgia (I used to put my long, thick hair in fine plaits when wet and go to bed with it like that, so it would look crimped in the morning), "playing out" wasn't permitted on a Sunday afternoon (no religious reason, they were atheists), and that sitting too close to the tv would damage your eyes.

LakieLady · 13/05/2022 16:36

sueelleker · 11/05/2022 18:12

Nothing happened during Wimbledon, absolutely nothing.
We called it "shush fortnight". If you spoke to Dad while it was on, all you got was ssshhhh. And woe betide you if you walked between him and the telly!

We had to sit in silence if cricket was on tv.

God help us if he was off work for any reason. Each match lasts 5 days, starts at 11, and in those days they used to play on until the light was too bad: no packing up at 6 or doing a fixed number of overs.

It was like being in some silent order. It didn't actually bother me too much as I always had my head in a book, but it must have been purgatory for my boisterous and possibly hyperactive DB.

Strawberryfieldsfornever · 13/05/2022 16:37

Ours were:

(Just for context I was born in early 80s and parents were old school types)

No phone calls before 7pm. To be honest this may not have been so odd, due to costs

if you look too much into mirrors an evil spirit would posess you.

Having symptoms of mental illness and needing help was just attention seeking. This only really applied within the family though, they were v kind to mentally ill people outside of the family. God forbid any of us children had issues though , that meant punishment and shame. Also considered a sin, not trusting in God enough or some such crap.

Ditto learning issues. Because we "had a good childhood we couldn't possibly have any SEN or mental issues" even though I have both and been hospitalised for MH and used to self harm in various ways since childhood . But nice as pie to other kids who had problems. Maybe it was an 80s thing? Maybe was just them.

Bleached hair was common.

Everyone had to be v quiet round my DF, and not disturb him, he got v angry if we played too boisterou s. I didn't realise this was unusual until I went round to my friend's house.

Divorce was a sin.

swearing was a sin for us children but my DF swore a lot! Often at us and mum who was called a "stupid cow" quite a lot. Of course now I realise that much of parenting is about "do as I say, not do as I do" and that all parents have off days or let their standards slip. By this I don't mean so much the name callin, that's never acceptable but the swearing!

We weren't allowed to watch Birds of a Feather. Or grange hill. Grange hill I think was banned in many households but I never understood the issue with Birds Of a Feather. Most other comedy was allowed.

Going out with wet hair meant you could get a chill

no going out alone after dark. Probably common sense but I have since learned it wasn't the norm.

LakieLady · 13/05/2022 16:38

'Use scissors to cut a small bunch of grapes. Don't pull them off leaving a 'skeleton' (it makes the fruit bowl look messy)

Love this - grape skeletons!

BowerOfBramble · 13/05/2022 17:37

My granny wouldn't let her daughters wash their hair during their periods. What was THAT about?

Blue and green should never be seen.