Black tie wedding

[imperialminty]

Is a black tie wedding dress code unreasonable?

Just that, really! My DH will have to buy or rent a whole new suit for his sister’s wedding. They’re paying for a lot for it (all accommodation for the weekend, completely open bar and all food all weekend) and it’s not abroad so not a lot of other costs that you usually get with weddings, but the dress code feels a bit U to me.

Message from MNHQ - please read the OP's updates before you reply...

Thoughts?

Feel free to give a dress code, but be prepared that a lot of people will wear a normal suit/ dress.

Black tie isn't usual and its a bit bleuurggh.
Morning suit or any suit.

This. It's his sister's wedding and they are footing the entire people. Don't be so miserable and tight.

Oh FFS OP 😡

We had a black tie wedding and had lots of feedback that it was easier for guests. Females mainly work dressy (cocktail) dresses and many of the men rented tuxedos for £40 from Slaters.

Are you in England OP? If you are, some of your older protocol obsessed guests might be sniffy as traditionally black tie should only be worn in evenings. It’s a silly protocol though.

if you are in US no issues at all.

You do whatever makes you happy.

Come on OP this is AIBU people will give you the truth whether you want it not. If you can’t give posters that much credit why post?

Cue lots of people not reading the update and posting responses based on your OP and rendering most of the thread pointless to read 🙄

YABU when they are paying for basically everything else

I believe it is acceptable to wear black tie in the late afternoon for a wedding in the UK because the law didn't use to allow weddings after 5pm (back when you used to have to get married in a register office or place of worship). At least, that was my debutante grandmother's advice when I got married back in the dark ages. But it was just advice, she wouldn't have been sniffy about it. She would be 112 if she were still alive. I can't believe many people know or care about these things nowadays. Anyway, being sniffy about etiquette is poor etiquette itself 😂

The black tie is for the evening so no problem there!

I actually didn’t want people to be biased against me (which I do sometimes find with AIBU!) hence the reverse but u do accept that’s annoying and apologise!

Another wedding reverse thread today 🙄

These should really be banned. What is the point of them? Why not just be upfront with what you want to ask OP. The thread will now be a mix of replies based on either the original post or the reverse reveal.

@chesirecat99 we married 26 years ago and it was still the law that you had to say I do before official lighting up time - which for a winter wedding meant very careful timing!!

Another reverse??!

YABU for the reverse. Second wedding reverse I’ve read on here today too.

What is it with these stupid reverses. You really irritate people doing this. It's so sly and manipulative 😡

Seriously? How many reverses have we had today alone about weddings???

FFS @imperialminty - pick whatever 'theme' you want for your wedding day. It's the marriage that follows that is important, and I'm speaking from experience here!

I disagree with your reasoning for a reverse OP. I think you wanted strong validation that you were right and knowing how aggressive AIBU can be you wanted to see your “OP” thoroughly slated.

sorry but the faux “I didn’t want bias” excuse is nonsense! I find people only tend to do a reverse when they are already pretty convinced they are not being unreasonable!

How is having to rent something easier than wearing a suit that most men probably already have.
I think it's quite selfish to require people to buy or hire something new for a wedding. They should be able to come in the best clothes they already own.

"It's his sister's wedding and they are footing the entire people."

There are always costs involved in going to a wedding. Doesn't sound like the sister/OP is paying people's travel or insisting on no wedding gifts so guests will have costs and on top of that they have to get a tuxedo.

"A tux doesn’t have to cost any more than an average woman’s outfit. You can pick up a tux in M&S for about £100"

100 for something you may never wear again if you don't go to those kinds of dinners? Whereas for a normal wedding you could wear what you usually wear.

Why on earth do people try to dictate what their wedding guests wear? It's not remotely important. Instead of fretting about this, your time would be much better spent doing a complete background check on your intended and having many heart to heart conversations about your values, dreams, where you're going to live, how you're going to raise kids, whether it's ever acceptable to run the toilet brush through the dishwasher. How do I know this? Every other thread on Mumsnet tells me so.

We had ‘black tie optional ‘ at our wedding as my dad didn’t want to wear a hired suit. Probably about half wore black tie, the rest wore a normal suit. No one looked out of place.

@Stravaig this absolutely cracked me up 😂