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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Small glass of wine 🍷

115 replies

Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 20:41

a guy I have been dating poured me a glass of wine.
I said to him ‘that glass of wine is small’ - he said
’Well I do not want you to get any fatter’. Smirked. And handed it to me.
I was so shocked I did not say anything.
😞

I have a normal BMI (not that it matters) and I go yoga and gym. He also asked me during our 2nd date ‘How many times do you go to the gym’ - whilst looking me up and down, smirking. I was a bit surprised but I just said 3/4 times per week… I missed a massive red flag there didn’t I. 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 21:05

Bluetrews25 · 08/05/2022 21:04

Actually open-mouthed here reading that!
I think that's what the younguns call negging, is it not?

Better luck next time.

He just said it to non-chalantly.

What is wrong with these guys?

OP posts:
Unanananana · 08/05/2022 21:05

Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 21:04

Yep - I am going to just message him I think and end it. I am actually quite upset. His words have been hurtful.

Show quote history

Good! Who does he think he is?

You are worth so much more.

Mrsjayy · 08/05/2022 21:06

I mean you don't have to see him again lesson learned and all that.

Longdistance · 08/05/2022 21:06

Get rid! What a wanker!
I hope you’re not that desperate, it’s like scraping the barrel with that turd!

UmbilicusProfundus · 08/05/2022 21:07

😂😂@lancsgirl85

FOJN · 08/05/2022 21:08

Please get rid of him. He's testing you to see what he can get away with. It would not matter if you were very overweight he could choose not to see you if it mattered that much to him but he wants to rob you of your confidence, don't allow that to happen.

Notimeforaname · 08/05/2022 21:08

Brilliant. If you need any help composing the message, the hive can sort that.

Doesn't matter whats wrong with him. You know what's right with you and you're leagues above this person 😃

smith19784 · 08/05/2022 21:08

He sounds absolutely awful

Ditch him & pour yourself a massive glass of wine to celebrate a lucky escape. What a total arsehole.

Original poster
Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 21:09

Think I will just keep it plain…

’I do not think we are compatible. See you around’. Then block?

OP posts:
BeardieWeirdie · 08/05/2022 21:10

Don’t message him, he’ll only be a cunt and put you down (“as if I was interested in a fat slag like you”). Just block and move on.

Notimeforaname · 08/05/2022 21:10

"See you around may" be interpreted as you can see each other again. I'd stick with the first part and be clear you dont want to see him again. If thats what you want.

Dita73 · 08/05/2022 21:11

This is where that good old phrase “go fuck yourself” comes in useful

lisavanderpumpscloset · 08/05/2022 21:12

Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 21:09

Think I will just keep it plain…

’I do not think we are compatible. See you around’. Then block?

'We're not compatible'.

And a photo of the wine bottle. Empty.

Then BLOCK

Fizzyfish · 08/05/2022 21:12

Definitely get rid of this one op, disgusting

OvaryActions · 08/05/2022 21:13

Ugh, dirty little shit..chuck him in the bin.
Seriously men like that don't realise how lucky they are that a woman has given them the time of day. You would be better off alone than being saddled with that.

Popsicle33 · 08/05/2022 21:14

What a cunt. I'd just ignore him. He's probably excited about the fact he's bothered you.

Original poster
Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 21:15

Unanananana · 08/05/2022 21:05

Good! Who does he think he is?

You are worth so much more.

Show quote history

I dont know.

without sounded concieted I am younger than him and I am so much nicer than him? (He seems to always get into trouble at work with colleagues whereas I worked same place for 10+ years with no drama). I also am in a higher position at work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 21:16

BeardieWeirdie · 08/05/2022 21:10

Don’t message him, he’ll only be a cunt and put you down (“as if I was interested in a fat slag like you”). Just block and move on.

Yes or some other manipulative tripe. I think you are right. He will twist it I think.

I wish I could show you all his smirk and glitter in his eye when he said that to see my reaction. Horrific.

OP posts:
OvaryActions · 08/05/2022 21:17

"without sounded concieted I am younger than him and I am so much nicer than him? (He seems to always get into trouble at work with colleagues whereas I worked same place for 10+ years with no drama). I also am in a higher position at work."

I love hearing women who know their worth 🙌🏽
He doesn't deserve you.

Seriously don't think most men deserve women but that's a whole other thread 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

VestaTilley · 08/05/2022 21:18

He’s an awful, bullying abusive man who has shown you who he is almost immediately.

No matter what he does, or says, do not see him again. Block his number and block him on social media.

He sounds like a misogynistic pig.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 08/05/2022 21:19

"I choose the wine"

And block

What a cunt. You can do so so so much better. Being on your own would be better than this for starters but successful, fit and attractive? Can't imagine you'll be alone for long unless that was your choice

Original poster
Meowykitten · 08/05/2022 21:22

OvaryActions · 08/05/2022 21:17

"without sounded concieted I am younger than him and I am so much nicer than him? (He seems to always get into trouble at work with colleagues whereas I worked same place for 10+ years with no drama). I also am in a higher position at work."

I love hearing women who know their worth 🙌🏽
He doesn't deserve you.

Seriously don't think most men deserve women but that's a whole other thread 🤷🏽‍♀️😂

I do not see my worth that much if I did not chuck the wine over his head and immediately leave. I think I was just too gobsmacked and needed time to process.

maybe he thought I was too good for him so started acted like this? Who knows. Its most likely for him to be so casual about it he does this with all woman though.

OP posts:
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 08/05/2022 21:25

Just send.

"Not looking for another date with you. See ya CuntyChops"

Then block

Aquamarine1029 · 08/05/2022 21:26

Stop analysing this, and stop beating yourself up for not immediately telling him to fuck off. You were in shock and now you've learned. You will never, ever allow a man to speak to you like this again, will you? No, you won't. Make that a promise to yourself.

Text him, just say you will no longer be dating him, and then block immediately. He is not worthy of any explanation or conversation.

ladygindiva · 08/05/2022 21:26

Cheguevarahamster · 08/05/2022 20:44

Kick the bastard to the other side of fuck.

Yup, definitely this